I saw these, Mike, and I laughed my considerable @$$ off. They reminded me of the little observations George Carlin makes on stage. SO, since I'm thinking about them, your comments put me in the mood, and I feel like committing plagiarism, I'll put down a few of my favorites.
Who empties the wishing well?
Why is it that on an escalator the handrail moves a little bit faster than the thing you're standing on?
Shouldn't there be cheese fondon't for those who don't like cheese fondue?
Who decides to leave out the ends of phrases like "have a happy...!" or "I haven't the slightest.....!"
People are always talking about things they want to hear. What about things you don't want to hear, like "I don't think my rash is contagious" or "I decided to stop taking the pills, homicidal tendancies be damned"?
What about selling ONE newspaper? They all say the same thing anyway.
Why is something we lost always in the LAST place we look? How about the first one? THAT would save time!
Speaking of saving time, why do we say that? We REALLY can't save time. Wouldn't you think if we could, we WOULD be doing it? And we sure as Hell wouldn't SPEND it in meetings or laundromats, we'd SPEND it in Tahiti so we could get the MOST out of it.
People are always saying "farfetched." Why don't we say "Nearfetched" for something REALLY obvious. Dan Quayle's an idiot? Say, that's nearfetched, Bill!
Okay, I'm stopping now.
Peace and love,