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#126459 - 06/02/06 08:23 AM Best moments our lives
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
It is been some time I not been here. I was not sure I will come back to here. But here I am, I am trying it.

There is so much bad of our life. But also, there is much good. So much in last few weeks, I been wanting, I do not know, maybe not wanting bad, butnot caring so much I am alive or dead. But there is been good to me also, and been good to my life. I was much reminded of that tonight, when I talk with a friend.

I was 19 years old when I become a father. I was 21 when I lose my child. But my child, she was best part of my life, in that time, and even now.

I was telling friend, her first word was 'papi'. To hear that, my heart melt to her, even more, even as she had my heart since she was born. Always, I would come home from work, and even if she already was asleep, I would take her out of her bed and hold her and talk to her. Then would put her back to bed and tell her much how I love her. The days I was not working so much, they was so good, because then, I have more time to spend with my daughter. I know I should spend so much that time with her mother, and at that time, I did love her mother. But my daughter, she had my heart total.

Best moment of my life? The night, when I put my daughter down to bed and tell to her I love her, and she can say back first time 'I love you papi'. That very precious small voice, saying those very big words. My heart was total gone, more than it even was before.

She take it with her when she die. But that was best moment my life, and something that keep me alive in years since. I hope others here, they have such a best moment also.

Vitaliy


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#126460 - 06/02/06 09:24 AM Re: Best moments our lives
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
that is beautiful Visha, thanks for posting this.

Mark

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#126461 - 06/02/06 03:44 PM Re: Best moments our lives
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
visha ,ihave missed you my friend its good to see your post ,i also feel the pain in it yes its about a good moment but its also about what you lost .always remember no matter how short your time was with her you made the best use of what time you had ,one child on this earth got to feel your unconditonal love even if only for a while ,i would give up everything to have had what you gave your daughter even if i only got it for a while .my parents had two sons one died and the other was just left to deal with the blame ,what if you had been my dad ? you would have helped me not blame me and if i had that for even one day i would trade the rest of my life gladly.i hope you do stay here with your friends ,your kindness and compassion are what most of us here are looking for and seeing it in you gives me hope that i can find it in others . adam

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#126462 - 06/02/06 04:13 PM Re: Best moments our lives
FLRich Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404
Visha, my friend,

You have me close to tears. Please read Adam's response again and again. Your daughter was truly blessed to have a father like you. You went out of your way to make sure she knew she was loved, and not raised in an environment like the one you grew up in.

((((((((Visha))))))))


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#126463 - 06/02/06 05:10 PM Re: Best moments our lives
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Visha,

As a young man who had been terribly abused you had some crucial choices to make when your daughter came into the world. You made ALL the right choices.

We never know how much more time we will have in the world. That makes it all the more important to do our best to cherish each moment with htose we love. You did that, and now you have the memories. That's so great.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#126464 - 06/03/06 04:46 AM Re: Best moments our lives
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Visha,

I've missed you here, but I understand that sometimes we just feel the need for being gone, and that's OK.

Your post moves me to tears. I have one daughter that I love with all my life. She's 22 now. My heart aches just at the thought of losing her. I can only imagine what your life was like when she was gone. Cherish those memories you have of her, My Friend. You were a good father. I can tell that. She was a fortunate little girl.

Take care of yourself, brother.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#126465 - 06/03/06 06:18 AM Re: Best moments our lives
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Visha,

Thank you for sharing this beautiful memory with all of us. It shows what a loving father you were to your daughter, and what a precious child she was. Hold fast to the memories like this, they are so wonderful.

_________________________
Eddie

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#126466 - 06/06/06 07:26 PM Re: Best moments our lives
TX_Space Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 163
Loc: Texas
Visha,
Thank you for this post. I have a beautiful daughter who is 8. When she says the words, "I love you Daddy." Her voice rings in my ears for hours and in my heart for days. It is the most beautiful sound.

Just remember the sound of your daughter's words and her voice. Carry that love with you always.

God Bless You!
tx_space


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#126467 - 06/10/06 09:23 AM Re: Best moments our lives
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
Thank you, the responses of this. I was just, I put this to here to hope others will share good moments their life also. But I hope this, even do, to help you think those times to yourself. Thank you.

Vitaliy


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#126468 - 06/10/06 07:11 PM Re: Best moments our lives
Don-NY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY
Visha,

I tried for many days to think of a good moment to share here.

I was feeling very bad when I read this so it was difficult for me to think of anything, but now I have remembered something that was a very good moment.

Ten years after my father died, my youngest sister was getting married.

She asked me to walk her down the aisle and to "give her away" at her wedding.

I was a little scared to do this but it made me very happy and very proud that she asked me, and not one of my older brothers.

This seems like such a little thing maybe. But it was a best moment for me, and truly I still hope that more best moments will be coming for me - for all of us.

Donald

_________________________
If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

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