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#126355 - 03/02/04 11:13 AM Court today...
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
Today is the court date...3Pm Central time!

Please pray for the TRUTH to be obvious.

I'm totally frazzled. I can't even believe someone would have the nerve to do this. I'll be back later with a report.

Thanks so much to everyone who has been such great support, it means so much to me.

Hugs,

Lynn

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

– Anne Lamott

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#126356 - 03/02/04 03:44 PM Re: Court today...
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Lynn,

That's little more than an hour from now. We're all pulling for you.

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#126357 - 03/02/04 07:36 PM Re: Court today...
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Lynn,

I'm sorry I didn't post till now. I know what you're going through.

We know the trust though, and this hag can't run from it forever.

I'm thinking about you all, and I truly hope it goes your way.

Let us know. We care. I care, sister.

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#126358 - 03/02/04 07:52 PM Re: Court today...
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Please Lynn let us know.

I'm thinking hard about you guys tonight.


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#126359 - 03/02/04 08:29 PM Re: Court today...
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri


I can't even explain what happened to me in there. We were well prepared with a statement and a half about everything, we had several witnesses, we were prepared to blow a lot of things wide open. My husband was going to do all the talking, cuz I don't DO confrontation. I ended up doing my own talking. Wow!

All this stuff is so totally foreign to me. I got a speeding ticket in 1973 for going 45 in a 35, paid it, and that has been the extent of my legal trouble! The very thought of "court" completely terrified me, and I have been a complete wreck for over a week. (What a wimp, eh? :rolleyes: )

We got in there, and the judge told me it was basically in my hands. I could just sign the ex-parte thing agreeing not to go anywhere near "Scotty", or I could fight it. If I chose to sign it, I was NOT admitting to anything his "asyol" (thanks for the word Leosha) mother accused me of, just that I agreed to not be around him. My husband wanted to "let her have it", and part of me did too. I wanted to clear my name, but the judge said basically, the info wouldn't go past the court room. It made no difference if we paraded all her filth in front of the judge or not as far as what "my record" would say, or even holding her accountable for anything that wasn't on the ex parte.

Much to my husband's dismay, (but he still loves me anyway!) I kinda panicked and said forget it, that I would just sign the thing if it wasn't going to make any difference anyway. Even if we had brought up all the abuse and neglect, it wouldn't have made any difference because that wasn't what we were there for. I asked the judge several times if I "cleared my name" if it would be on record. He said basically no, that it would just be on the record that I fought it. Well what the heck good is that! I said that there was a lot of damaging information in what we had about Scotty's mother, and that I didn't see any reason to just dump all that out if it wasn't going to do any good anyway. It was pointless.

My head is still spinning. I feel in a way like I let people down because I just couldn't blow stuff open. Would it have made a difference for the younger children, to get them educated or "safe" or what? No. All I know is, when the judge asked if we wanted to say our piece, and my husband started to, I couldn't do it. It just felt like the wrong time and place for the information we had.

We did tell the judge that I did NOT stalk Scotty, he has come to ME, and if I am in "danger" of being arrested if he does come to me, then how do we make sure HE stays away from ME? The judge said I have to call the police if he comes to me.

What a weird turn of events. A kid comes to our house for help. We helped him. He improved incredibly over 5 months. He goes back home and 'crashes'. His mother crashes him, and blames me. Then she goes down and files all kinds of INSANE accusations against me, with not an ounce of proof---because there IS no proof! (All 3 attorneys we spoke to said she was nuts.) Then I have to go to court, and no matter what, my name is in some file somewhere!!! On my squeaky clean record, and even if I fought it, it would still be there. Hmmm. What is wrong with this picture?

We forgot to tell the judge that we completely supported him for 5 months while she collected child support from his father. He got nothing from them for Christmas.

It was cool though. We had an opportunity to "count" the kids who have been in our home, both living here and just "hanging out" here in the 28 years we've been married. There have been 26!!! TWENTY-SIX!!! Not counting our 6 or the 6 exchange students! We are still in contact with a bunch of them. It would have been cool to have all of them parade in there with no complaints. Unfortunately, we will probably be more "careful" and "gun shy" of blindly taking in any kid who happens by from now on. How sad.

I had the impression that the judge did "know" who was telling the truth. He was very kind, and explained things to me as many hundreds of times as I needed him to!

Anyway, thanks so much for all the support. I appreciate all the PMs in the past few months.

Hey, one good thing, if it's true, Scotty's mother said he's in therapy. YEE HA! That was the goal, right! As long as she doesn't undo everything the T gives him. I'm so glad he has a chance.

Anyway, later. I'm gonna go get a huge bag of DOVE dark chocolate and think happy thoughts...I think I'll even share it with my husband.

Hugs,
Love,

Lynn

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

– Anne Lamott

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#126360 - 03/02/04 09:52 PM Re: Court today...
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
The last thing you are is a wimp. You are incredible, Lynn. Strong and loving (which isn't an easy thing to be sometimes). Listen to your own words... he has a chance... you've given him more than you know.

I'm sorry about everything that's happened to you and to Scotty. I don't know what else I can say.

peace
SAR


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#126361 - 03/02/04 09:56 PM Re: Court today...
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Ah, lass, I'm so sorry.

The sad truth (and, regretfully, it happens time and again) is that in the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls. Lenny Bruce is still telling the truth in that regard.

The one thing I can say is that you had an impact on that boy, and the others who were in your care. You mattered. You saved his life, and in the Talmud, there's a quote I believe to be true (slightly modified for political correctness \:D ), "one who saves a life, saves the world entire."

You made a difference. You saved the world. It's not much of a comfort, but please believe that you did.

And give your husband an extra hug tonight. He's hurting too.

The truth will out eventually, Lynn. And (boy, I'm quoting Biblical and Talmudic verses well tonight! Someone better get rock salt for Hell, because I'm sure it's pretty chilly now!), "you shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free."

I believe that. And so should you. Everyone will know someday.

You're a very special person, lass.

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#126362 - 03/03/04 01:11 PM Re: Court today...
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Lynn,

You showed Scotty how his life could and should be. He will never forget that.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#126363 - 03/03/04 05:04 PM Re: Court today...
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
Ok Scot, how's this...

In the "old days", if you lied, they cut out your tongue. Since she wrote it too, I guess they would have cut off her hand. Then, well, she had to be looking at it while she was writing it, so there goes the eyeball. And alas, she had to dream the whole thing up to begin with, so off with her head. End of problem. Ah, the old days.

Someone close to me recently made a statement in passing, actually about a totally unrelated thing, but it kinda stuck in my head. It was referring to the fact that when something happens, you find out who your real friends are. I was totally shocked at the ones who came out of the woodwork! I am grateful.

As far as the truth being known, everyone pretty much already knows, it's kinda obvious. It's just that nobody can figure out what to DO about it. I can't even think about that. I am emotionally dead right now.

Hugs,

Lynn

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

– Anne Lamott

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