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#126281 - 05/21/06 09:01 PM The Rules
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
My nephew sent this one to me and I laughed till I cried. Just have to share it with you all. I know some of them are not really the way myself or many of the rest of you feel, but there have sure been times when I've had those thoughts.

Guys Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#126282 - 05/21/06 09:47 PM Re: The Rules
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
I saw this one a while ago and I laughed my butt off! When I showed it to my b/f, he said, "Yup, that's about right" \:D

ROCK ON.......Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#126283 - 05/21/06 11:40 PM Re: The Rules
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
John,

Quote:
I know some of them are not really the way myself or many of the rest of you feel...
Really? Which one don't you agree with? They all look good to me.

Much mystery,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#126284 - 05/22/06 01:35 AM Re: The Rules
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
OK, Larry. Since you asked...
Quote:
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
'Fraid I have little interest in such subjects and would rather talk about many other things such as music, books, friendship, life issues, politics, computers, relationships, etc., many of which my wife is also interested in, but not all.

From the discussion we've had here in a thread or two over the last several months, I know that many of the rest of you feel similarly. Not that we have no interest in the things mentioned, but we also understand there is much more to life that is important.

Of course, I will NEVER admit that to my wife when I read "the rules" to her later tonight... \:D \:D \:D

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#126285 - 05/22/06 08:18 AM Re: The Rules
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
John,

I sleep on the couch every night!

Quote:
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
How many times have I fell victim to that!!

We are NOT mind readers ;\)

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#126286 - 05/23/06 06:46 PM Re: The Rules
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11119
Loc: Denver, CO
John,

I slept on the couch every night in the early 90s for roughly three years. I got used to it after being sick with a cold and the bed became a catch-all til I moved.

Now, I find all of those rules agreeable, though I'm not into sports, so those ones will probably not apply in my personal world. However, the following 'rule' is butting heads with the John Gray book I'm currently reading:

"Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. "

The fantasy me says they are all good and well, and should be codified immediately. The me who thinks about marriage knows that in real life, some of those are gonna go right out the window (crash! shatter!).


Perhaps I should open the window first...

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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