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#125068 - 03/29/06 05:42 PM Re: Who's a "normal"
Steven Heath Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/06/06
Posts: 81
Loc: New York City
i always used to tell my shrink that i wanted to "feel normal".....after probably helping him send his daughter through college with my many years of therapy....i have come to the conclusion that "feeling normal" is not what i want at all......there are many other things i would rather feel.....thanks.....steve


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#125069 - 03/30/06 04:55 AM Re: Who's a "normal"
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
no such thing as normal, I want to be alive, and enjoy life as much as possible. I want to spend time with friends. I want to be me!!!!!!!!!!

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#125072 - 04/02/06 08:32 AM Re: Who's a "normal"
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Let's also remember that in many ways talk about being "normal" is just a strategy for enforcing someone's own narrow orthodoxy. In other cases fears about not being normal are just regret at the feeling that one doesn't "fit in" with the crowd.

But isn't it the "heretics" and mavericks who end up doing the most interesting and valuable things with their lives?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#125073 - 04/02/06 07:52 PM Re: Who's a "normal"
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 666
Larry,
You touched on something I have known for years but could never share. I look at the mavericks and heretics and think "I have what they have, yet right now I'm afraid to try." I think SA makes me helpless and weak. I may fail. I want to be....one of THEM (That's a challenge, Japan man!) Maybe I am!

Normal? I was with a friend who told me he wished I would just "bust out". He thought I was containing myself so much. I thought about it shortly and knew he was right. I was...afraid of success. I googled it on my PC, and have explanations in my "favorites" file. I've been afraid the "me" inside would be seen. I'm not seeing myself fairly. Thus, since I've not accepted myself (in my eyes), I am constantly trying to "improve" myself. (My perpetual question: what needs to change now?)

Yikes! I'm not seeing something right!

fhorns


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#125074 - 04/02/06 08:28 PM Re: Who's a "normal"
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
fhorns,

Like anything else this problem is one that needs to be approached carefully and with small safe steps. You say "I may fail". Yes, that is always possible. But if you fear it that doesn mean it will happen, or that you as a person are a failure.

That's great you have a friend who noticed what you were doing and trusted you enough to comment on it. Can you trust him back? I don't mean talk about the SA, but just see if with some personal support you can "bust out" a bit. Not with something really big...just enough to take some steps toward trusting your own worth and judgment again.

Are you seeing a T? This would be a topic where some professional guidance would be a great idea.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#125076 - 04/04/06 01:06 AM Re: Who's a "normal"
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
JapanZen,

Quote:
In my opinion I am normal, even if I am damaged.
Can I add here that you didn't ask for the harm done to you? You didn't understand what it meant when you were so young, and it was never your fault.

Awhile ago you put up a post that had your blog address in it, so I had a look. Know what I saw? A happy man living a wonderful life with a loving woman and surrounded by supportive friends and family. And into the bargain you learned Japanese and became a Zen Master?

That sounds exceptional rather than normal! You have come so far and I hope you are full of pride at what you have accomplished.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#464619 - 04/26/14 08:27 PM Re: Who's a "normal" [Re: Zipser]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 703
Loc: Southeast USA
I don't normally "bump" threads, but this one bears consideration.

Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#467909 - 07/23/14 04:24 PM Re: Who's a "normal" [Re: Zipser]
lostsoul824 Offline


Registered: 07/22/14
Posts: 3
Loc: Winnipeg manitoba Canada
WOW!!!!

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