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#124562 - 07/25/03 08:18 AM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
Not only major traffic pretzles, but all the Minnesota nice people have unlicenced hand guns. Yikes.


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#124563 - 07/25/03 11:51 AM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
And a former pro-wrestler for governor!

and people say Texas folks are nuts......
:rolleyes:

Hope all of you guys will have a wonderful timen in Minneapolis.
From what I remember it's a great city.

You'll have each other there and that's a great thing.

Man, I've been trying to figure out a way to get there, but it ain't happened yet.

If I could just get those last two brain cells I've got up there to collide.......maybe a spark..... :p

A lot of what's keeping me back from making the decision to be in Minneapolis is some really crazy fear.

Fear of me somehow screwing up this thing MS, that has become so important to me. Fear of not fitting in; of doing something inappropriate (like what? farting in the sweat lodge?).

But this thread may not be the best place for talking about that.

How about a new thread on the anxiety and fear we can feel about something like Minneapolis?

And the hopefulness and pleasant expectation that goes right along with it, at least for me?

Am I the only one who somehow manages to be worried and fearful about how it would be to meet all of you guys, but at the same would like nothing more in the world to see and talk to each and every one of you?

Crazy mix of hope and fear. Which will win out?

Staying tuned,

Your brother,

_________________________
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

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#124564 - 07/25/03 01:50 PM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Danny and all,

I think that this is the perfect place to discuss our hopes and fears about attending things like the conference. Maybe, in some unconscious way, that's why I entitled this, "Minnesota or Bust."

I know that I was thinking, "I'm gunna do this or........... ."
So the old sojourner's saying came to mind.

You want me to talk about my fears.

I got fears.

This guy you "see" sitting before you typing like he knows what he's talking about, has got..
F...E...A...R...S about Minnesota, about Port Orchard, about going to the doctor, the dentist, large crowds, small crowds, meeting new people, meeting old--pre-known people.

But let's keep this in the realm of going/coming to the conference.

We might scare some others, we might discover other fears we never thought about--I never thought about THAT--but, we could even assuage some of that fear. We might persuade some others to come because they see that we have some of the same fear and we're trying to get there without crumpling into a pile on the floor.

So, yes, this is a good forum for that. It's about coming to the conference and some of the fear associated with that challenge.

Thanks, Danny, for giving us, "permission," to fess up here and maybe get some strength from each other.

Something tells me that I'd feel safer sleeping in a room with 30 of you guys rather than in a room by myself.

That I don't want to hear words and phrases like, sex abuse, or sex abuse survivor, or male survivor of sex abuse.

Somehow those words are safe here; I think that I'm going to be nervous to hear those words spoken in public and that I'M, associated with those words...that I was abused. This forum is somewhat private, I don't have to look anybody in the eyes when those words are spoken...spoken....spoken.

Ya, I got fear about Minneapolis, but what am I hoping for?

I know that I'm going to like meeting you, shaking your hands and maybe hugging one or two of you that I've become fond of, here.

I'm hoping to draw strength from you and knowledge from our presenters.

I'm looking forward to meeting you and thanking some of you for the support that you've given to me and to other brothers.

I'm hoping to discovering friends that I always wanted to have.

I'm looking forward to Minnesota, or bust.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#124565 - 07/25/03 02:20 PM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Sir David, your chivalry is showing again. I'm not joking. See below.

Maybe this is a good sign, a thread that tended to humor now evolving into something more substantial.

I watched the home page, and reloaded the main page in the browser several times a day waiting for the conference registration to open up. When it did, I registered immediately. I'm sure I was one of the first.

And I'm scared. I keep trying to picture what it's going to be like. What will the guys think of "the real me" if I'm even able to let him out? What if someone looks or sounds like the perp? What if I say or do something so incredibly stupid that no one wants to hear from me ever again?

I've read a lot of good things about Joe here. When do I begin believing them? What if I prove you were wrong when we meet in person? (Not you specifically, David, but any of the guys who attend.)

I'm looking forward to some conversations I'm afraid to start online. Maybe that's when I'll show just how screwed up I am and alienate myself.

I'm going, barring some disaster. Fear alone won't stop me this time. Fear has claimed too much of my life. There's nothing cowardly about having fear, right? Courage is facing fear, and forcing it to back down, not being without fear, right?

I guess I like the title of the thread. Well chosen.

Thanks,

Joe


chivalry, n [Middle English chivalrie, from Old French chevalerie, from chevalier, knight. See chevalier.]
  • 1. The medieval system, principles, and customs of knighthood.
  • 2.
    • a. The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.
    • b A manifestation of any of these qualities.


    [*]A group of knights or gallant gentlemen.


_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#124566 - 07/25/03 06:47 PM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
BT Offline


Registered: 06/25/03
Posts: 388
Loc: Chicago IL
Thanks Ivanhoe for the Sandwich offer. If some of you guys are still up and I know where to look I will definatly be there. My flight gets in at 11:30 and I have no Idea when I will get to the hotel. Maybe I can get an earlier flight.

_________________________
"Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it is not my job to change their mind." Dali Lama

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#124567 - 07/25/03 09:27 PM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Brent and others who may not be able to make it for dinner.

I'm going to ask the folks that may be there before the some of us that can make it to dinner, to scope out that perfect niche, you know, the one that has an incredible conversation pit, great fireplace, off in a corner--good view optional--where we can visit in a semi-private mode.

We should be able to let the desk know where we are--that is, if they don't already know, and will not want to add to the already too much to deal with, and direct you to some sub-basement.

We will behave ourselves until at least 2 AM, at which time we will commence with the TP'ing of Minneapolis.

{{{{Shhhh, that last part is not, I repeat, not, for publication.}}}}

Signed: The entertainment committee.


Whatever you do, do not mention any of this to the mods.....I am in, "cloaked-privacy mode," am I not.............

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#124568 - 07/25/03 11:00 PM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
BT Offline


Registered: 06/25/03
Posts: 388
Loc: Chicago IL
I will be late but I can bring the TP

_________________________
"Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it is not my job to change their mind." Dali Lama

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#124569 - 07/28/03 04:23 PM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
BT Offline


Registered: 06/25/03
Posts: 388
Loc: Chicago IL
Hey everyone I was able to rework my schedule and get my flight changed. I will arrive at the airport at 6:22 p.m now so asumming all goes as planned should be able to make dinner. So count me in.

Looking forward to seeing all you guys.

BT

_________________________
"Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it is not my job to change their mind." Dali Lama

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#124570 - 07/28/03 05:22 PM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
I just booked my flight this afternoon. I have a flight reservation, a hotel reservation, and a conference registration. Looks good to go.

Now for the waiting. Maybe I can pass some of the time searching online for good deals on toilet pap... um, never mind, forget I said that.

\:D

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#124571 - 07/28/03 06:55 PM Re: Minnesota or bust...............
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
The longer this post gets, the longer my sour puss gets at my jealousy over not being able to be there for the big "howdy doody" sheebang. I will try to slide in about 9:30pm, darn younz anway, for a mini visit/hello. I am after all an unapologetic joy junkie with a big fix, which I fullly expect to have gratified come September.

Awwwwww Sc*ucks!

\:D

Con Sour Grapes

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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