Newest Members
pjmd, j_f1974, Dan234racer, ajax, marmill252
12431 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
mTm (55), Oz (28)
Who's Online
2 registered (cant_remember, highflight), 17 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12431 Members
74 Forums
63838 Topics
445784 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#124448 - 09/04/05 11:47 AM Re: Subject: raising boys
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I got an email this morning, and thought this is pretty funny.......

Sounds like me.........

A mother was working in the kitchen listening
to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric
train in the living room. She heard the train stop
and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who
want off, get the hell off now...cause this is the
last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are
getting on, get your asses in the train...cause
we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son,
"We don't use that kind of language in this house.
Now I want you to go to your room and you are to
stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may
play with your train...but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and
resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped
and the mother heard her son say...
"All passengers, please remember your things,
thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We
hope you will ride with us again soon."
She heard her little darling continue..."For
those of you just boarding, remember, there is no
smoking in the train. We hope you will have a
pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added,
"For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO
HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen...."

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#124449 - 09/04/05 11:49 AM Re: Subject: raising boys
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
Quote:
Originally posted by roadrunner:


27. When you are stoned, hiding with your friends under the picnic table doesn't make you less conspicuous.
And a breath mint or gum do not make you any less drunk!


Top
#124450 - 09/04/05 03:36 PM Re: Subject: raising boys
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
31. A girlfriend's mother will not be impressed when you come in from the garden to greet her and walk right into the closed glass patio door.

32. If your mother tells you to plant her bulbs for her and you don't have time to do it, the solution is NOT to dig a hole and bury them.

33. It is bad politics to ask a girlfriend's dad: "Is this film really in color?"

34. You can't run a dishwasher on washing up liquid.

35. There is a reason why jacuzzis don't have sachets of bubble bath close by.

36. When you deposit a dollar in the bank, you don't need to sign the bill so they know which one is yours.

37. If you need your clothes out of the washing machine and need to skip some steps and Mom isn't home for hours, just block the lock mechanism on the top and run the spin cycle with the top of the washing machine open.

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#124451 - 09/04/05 03:58 PM Re: Subject: raising boys
demonboi Offline
Member

Registered: 05/14/05
Posts: 228
Loc: East Coast
haha these are awesome

no matter how big a dog is, they usually don't like it when you sit on them.

Cats don't like water

barbie dolls can't swim in the toilet...hehe

_________________________
Every corner, every city
There's a place where life's a little easy
Little Hennessy, laid back and cool
Every hour, cause it's all good
Leave all the stress from the world outside
Every wrong done will be alright
Nothin but peace, love
And street passion, every ghetto needs a thug mansion

Top
#124452 - 09/04/05 05:18 PM Re: Subject: raising boys
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
36. When you deposit a dollar in the bank, you don't need to sign the bill so they know which one is yours.

If I pass a large denomination note over, then I always remember the last four numbers, just in case they say the note was smaller. ;\)

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#124453 - 09/04/05 05:32 PM Re: Subject: raising boys
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
And more...

On our last family vacation, we decided to head to the Washington coast. "Where are we going?" my son asked. "We're going to Seattle," I answered back. My son asked the same question over and over, each time puzzled. We were both losing our temper when finally my son questioned "Dad, Who is Attle and why do we want to go SEE him?!?"

My 5 year old niece, being totally sincere, says to her other Aunty this: "I know you really want to get married, but it's not that no one wants to marry you, they just don't know where you live."

When my oldest son Dalton was 2 years old, he found his first box turtle. After playing with the poor thing for what seemed like hours, he began studying it very closely. After seeing him stare at it face to face for a long time, I couldn't resist any more. I finally asked him what he was looking at. He said "Mom, does he have a nightlight in his shell so he can see in there?"

After an early morning doctor appointment, dad checked his son in at the school office. Two secretaries in the office were having a discussion about a child who was 'playing hooky'. "Dad, Dad!" his son exclaimed, "How do you play that game Hooky?"

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#124454 - 09/04/05 06:08 PM Re: Subject: raising boys
demonboi Offline
Member

Registered: 05/14/05
Posts: 228
Loc: East Coast
Haha, priceless. My cousin babysits and was telling me about how when she plays hide and seek with the little ones they always tell her where they are. Its like, if I can't see them, they can't see me...so they face the corner thinking they're hidden. They also call her Ms. Teacher at where she works cos they haven't quite gotten that concept yet.

_________________________
Every corner, every city
There's a place where life's a little easy
Little Hennessy, laid back and cool
Every hour, cause it's all good
Leave all the stress from the world outside
Every wrong done will be alright
Nothin but peace, love
And street passion, every ghetto needs a thug mansion

Top
#124455 - 09/05/05 11:00 AM Re: Subject: raising boys
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I hated it, when my mom threw my old jeans that were ripped and torn into the garbage.
Wow, I rescued them time and time again, until she made sure they went for good.

Maybe I started a fashion statement, many years ago, hence why younger guys rip their jeans.

Who knows!

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#124456 - 09/06/05 12:50 AM Re: Subject: raising boys
lostboyalone Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/27/05
Posts: 19
if your shootin guns at bottles dont put the bottles in front of the house cos shotguns make big holes in the house when you miss. then you get in trouble

if you find a rusted car on the prairie make sure it got a engine before you steal gas to put in it

thats all from me


Top
#124457 - 11/06/05 04:51 AM Re: Subject: raising boys
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Quote:
Originally posted by reality2k4:
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
Drat! Foiled again...

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

Top
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.