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#124259 - 08/01/05 06:28 PM help, I was intoxicated, she was not
mjollnir Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/01/05
Posts: 2
Loc: mn
hello, about a month or more give or take, I was stoned out my my mind, and the stuff was probably laced cause I have hardly any recolection of the night, and the girl I know was sober, all I really remember of the night is being disgusted and kicking her out of my apt, I have three friends who were there and they remember I was pretty messed up. I deny to everyone that i even did anything with this girl, remembering what she looked like(yuck) there is no way i would touch this girl if I was sober. I got tested for stds so im clean on that part, the only problem is shes now telling a friend of mine(he doesn't like her, she just messeges him online)she might be pregrant, that is not cool at all, as for one I don't even want kids let alone with someone who used my intoxication to their advantage. so basecly i don't wanna be held responsible for some kid with some stupid whore who used me like that, I wouldn't even like the kid, just knowing who the mother would be. what can I do? i feel like shit, my life would go down the drain if im stuck having to deal with her and paying or some kid for 18 years i dono what to do i just don't...

who the hell is gonna help me legally anyway i mean im a male noones going to think we can be taken advantage of like this, not only that but also im 26 and the girl is 18 whos going to think im a victum...

I posted it in the other forum then I realised it was off topic and for recovery issues..


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#124260 - 08/01/05 09:06 PM Re: help, I was intoxicated, she was not
al Offline
Member

Registered: 01/08/03
Posts: 143
Loc: canada
uh recovery from what?

and if it ends up u got a kid comeing ur gonna do whats rite and whatever u need to to take care of him or her u fucking NEVER reject a kid ok NEVER or they end up getting tossed around unwanted used and abused dont fucking EVER do that to a kid how would u like it done to U


_________________________
Those who dance appear insane to those who cannot hear the music. Mark Kleiman

Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it. Winston Churchill

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#124261 - 08/01/05 09:26 PM Re: help, I was intoxicated, she was not
sabooka Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 209
Loc: I would like to know also
Sorry but I agree with al here. Take responsibility for your actoins. If you are in recovery than that is the first step. And the reason no one will see you as the victim is because you are not one in this case. You chose to do those drugs and you chose to drink.

No red angry faces but total agreement with them.

Jonathan

_________________________
My happiness is not dependant on other people's misery.

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#124262 - 08/01/05 10:14 PM Re: help, I was intoxicated, she was not
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I welcome you here, somewhat confusedly.

I am not sure what has pissed you off more, that you were taken advantage of when you were under the influence, or what the girl looked like who did it?

Men CAN be drugged, or drunk, and taken advantage of, I do agree with and support that. If you were a woman who was raped at a party, we would not blame you because you were drunk. However, it seems you need to make some serious choices of how to keep yourself safe, and drink and drugs are not among those things.

You are right, it is not likely you would be looked at as the victim, even if you are. However, even as a victim, you will have a responsibility if that girl is pregnant.

I think though, that you should tell someone of authority what happened, that it was not any intent of you that caused this. And perhaps start working at things from there. But there are a lot of things it seems you have to deal with. The fact that the woman who could be the mother of your child is repulsive to you is the least of them, in my opinion.

Good luck.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#124263 - 08/01/05 11:51 PM Re: help, I was intoxicated, she was not
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Sorry, but in all honesty I don't see how you are a victim here. You are 8 years older than the girl, and from what you say it was your decision to get stoned. She used you? How do you figure? If you were so hammered that you hardly even recollect the night, then you don't know what condition she was in.

What especially troubles me about your post is this part:

Quote:
basecly i don't wanna be held responsible for some kid with some stupid whore who used me like that, I wouldn't even like the kid, just knowing who the mother would be. what can I do? i feel like shit, my life would go down the drain if im stuck having to deal with her and paying or some kid for 18 years i dono what to do i just don't...
You not liking her doesn't make her a whore, and what is at issue now isn't "some kid", but possibly your son or daughter. It's high school bullshit to get ripped up, jump in bed with anybody, and then later on blame the girl if things go wrong and she's pregnant. If that is the case, then testing will prove 100% whether or not you are the father. If you are: welcome to adulthood. That child will need your financial support and your attention and love.

Yes, it will change your life, but no, not necessarily send it down the drain. Whether that happens will be entirely your responsibility, just as it was your responsibility as an adult to decide whether or not to sleep with the girl. The possibility that whatever you were smoking was laced doesn't change that fact, though it shows that maybe you should reconsider the crowd you hang with.

I wish you all the best, my friend, and I am not trying to dump on you. But my honest feeling here is that you have some serious growing up to do where sexuality is concerned.

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#124264 - 08/02/05 12:10 AM Re: help, I was intoxicated, she was not
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Quote:
I wouldn't even like the kid, just knowing who the mother would be.
Given your obvious hostility towards an innocent child, I hope for the child's sake that you're not the father.

_________________________
Eddie

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#124265 - 08/02/05 12:23 AM Re: help, I was intoxicated, she was not
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
I hope, very much, that, that the woman is not the pregnant woman your child. You - my age, and you are child still. You do not deserve a miracle which is a young life which you help to create.

I would do anything that - even, I shall kill someone - that, yes, to be given again chance to have my child, to hold my child, to observe, that she grows. And I do not receive it, I do not receive any of it. You who at all does not wish the child, at all do not want those opportunities. Your carelessness for anyone, but your own self causes disgust in me.

I really regret, whether you are 'victim'. But you - a victim, survived to which I could not see, that I had sympathy.

VN


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#124266 - 08/02/05 01:19 AM Re: help, I was intoxicated, she was not
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
This topic has been locked for moderator review.

mjollnir, please check your Private Messages.


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