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#123479 - 01/01/07 11:20 AM Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
This is not of male survivor issues, but I think it can belong here. It is my imaginings of how my daughter would be now, almost age 9, and what kind of parents and family all children deserve.


I never got to see my child grow up. She was 22 months old when she died, not near old enough to know what kind of person she would have been, what kind of student, what she would have liked, what she would have done. I have done this, within myself, few times before in past. I thought I would share it here.

In 2006, my daughter Olesya, she would have been 8 years old. It is so hard for me, to believe of that. I still felt such as child when she was born, I was 19, and felt I was like, sometime, 40 years old, and other times, like I was 10 years old. And now, she would be almost turning 9 years age this month.

My daughter, even as she was so young when she died, she was very smart. I would read to her, and even at her young age, I could ask her, point to the dog, point to the cat, and she would point to right picture, almost always. I think she would been very smart in school, and like to read. I could see her bring home her school work, and we would always tell to her how proud we are.

She liked to 'dance' on my feet. I grown up as child with dance training, for many years, before I changed to other sport. We would raise her healthy, and to enjoy sport and dance and other exercise. I would hold her hands, she would stand on my feet, and we would dance, or I would just hold her in my arms and spin her around. She would laugh, and clap her hands. I could see easy, my daughter, to grow up in dance, becoming someone beautiful and artistic.

Anything she would do, we would encourage it. She would not need to be doing things as either her parents. Anything she would do, it would be good, because it is her doing it. Whether she like to draw, or write, or read, or dance, or anything else, we would tell her how smart she is, how special she is, how proud we are and how loved she is.

I think she would be tall. I am well more then 6 feet, and her mother, she was near to 5 feet 9 inches. Olesya, I think she would be tall, and probable rather thin, as always, both me and Larissa, we eat only the healthy foods. (But I could see my child eating candy and soda outside of home, and love it, just as most child!) She probable would still have quite long brown hair, and the brown eyes, and be even more beautiful then she was as baby.

My daughter, who would be 9 years old this month, she would grow up happy. She would have no reason to fear her parents, as I did. She would never be hit by her parents, as me. She would grow up happy, believing of herself as a good and strong person who can do anything she wants, and do it good. She would be encouraged, and she would know her parents are proud of her. She would grow up with laughter, and joking, and happiness. She would grow up knowing respect for her parents, and from her parents. She would grow up knowing she is importent. She would grow up with hugs. She would grow up loved. She would know she was loved.

My daughter would grow up having the best from me and her mother, and know how much she mean to us.

I hope one day, again I will be father, and I can do all the right things with a child as I would have want to with Olesya. And whatever child I ever have in my life, they will know of their sister, and know of her love also.

VN


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#123480 - 01/01/07 03:50 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
(((Visha))) That was beautiful!

Brian

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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#123481 - 01/01/07 05:07 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
visha you did all the right things

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#123482 - 01/01/07 05:08 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3362
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
(((((Visha)))))

Thank You for sharing this - it is a beautiful thing - your love of your daughter is so deep - if only all children could be blessed with such love...

I hope much for you too that you will be a father someday

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#123483 - 01/01/07 05:30 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11020
Loc: Denver, CO
V,

thank you for telling us about your daughter. I hear a wonderful resolve in what you say about being a father.

A

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#123484 - 01/01/07 07:27 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Visha,

I have no words for this. From one father to another, thank you so much for sharing.

Scott

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#123485 - 01/02/07 02:15 AM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
dan_in_newengland Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/01
Posts: 161
Loc: Mass
nice visha, a good tribute to her

Dan


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#123486 - 01/02/07 03:12 AM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
FLRich Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404
(((((((Visha)))))))


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#123487 - 01/02/07 09:07 AM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
I have no words to express what this does in me. "Beautiful" does not cover it.

((((((Visha))))))

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#123488 - 01/02/07 02:27 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
Elad 12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1176
Loc: on the coast
That is very beautiful Visha.

Dale


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