The nominations are in. The people at Malesurvivor have spoken and now....it's time!
From the glamorous MGM Grand Hotel in Beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, the First Annual Kramer Awards!
(Enormous applause, vast musical tribute, the whole opening bit!)
Yes, thank you everyone, for attending the first ever Stanley Kramer Awards for Outstanding Cinematic Achievement! It's impressive to see so many of the Malesurvivor community here indulging in a passion of the truly U.S. art form that is the Motion Picture. As you may recall, Stanley Kramer was one of the outstanding directors and producers of American film, so I'm certain he'd feel honored being the idol of our own film awards.
And look at our star-studded attendees! Nicole, Tom, Jamie, Glenn, Jim, Toby, Kirsten, all of them here to watch some of their own get what's coming to them. Yes, we, the male survivor community are the true stars of this show, but it's nice to see some of the true greats in the audience for a truly memorable event! Or maybe its because the nightclubs are closed now, I don't know.
Alright then, let's get right to the fun. First up, Best cinematic moment of 2004. So many were deserving, but only one could win. And the winner is...........the concert sequences in "RAY!"
(Applause! Applause! Jamie Foxx rises to accept the award.)
Jamie Foxx: "Well, uh, wow! What do you say to something like this? I thought it was Jim Carrey who was gonna be the first "In Living Color" vet to get up on stage for a movie award!" (Laughter!) "I guess, I've got to say thank you. It's truly a thrill to know it was me, as well as Brother Ray's eternal vocals, that thrilled y'all the most. I know time's short, but I just want to thank my family, and God, for giving me the talent to achieve this for all of you. Thanks you! Thanks so much!"
(Applause! Jamie leaves the stage)
Next up, Best director, and man, isn't it hard to pick just one? But the masses have spoken and the Kramer for Best Director goes to......Sam Raimi for "Spider-Man 2!"
Sam, unfortunately, couldn't be here today. He doesn't feel comfortable in a place without Bruce Campbell nearby (Laughter!). But he sends his appreciation and thanks the Malesurvivor voters out there for making this achievement possible. Now he has a Hollywood legend for his mantlepiece after all these years!
Now, the award for Best Actor. This was hard, as there were so many wonderful choices out there, and so many memorable performances, but there can be only one, as they say, and the winner is.........Kirten Dunst for "Eternnal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!"
(Applause! Kirsten gets up on the stage)
Kirsten: "My God! Sam'll be (edited) that this wasn't for 'Spider-Man!' (Laughter!). When you think that my role wasn't really that big, to be given this, well, it means a lot. You guys are the real heroes here today, though, and this one's for you, your loved ones, and everyone touched by these things! Thank you!"
And now, we've come down to this. The Best Film award. The people have spoken and the award goes to......"Ray!"
(Mad applause! CAst and crew from "Ray" get up on stage, take their awards, madly celebrate!)
And as we watch this joyful scene, it's time to wrap up the first ever Kramer Awards. Thanks to all who voted, thanks for the filmmakers who made so many quality films for the year, and thank you all for attending! You ROCK! From the MGM Grand Hotel, goodnight and God Bless Hollywood!