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#123310 - 02/02/05 04:52 AM Favor questions
yesac76 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/23/04
Posts: 508
Loc: Idaho
1. WHat was the hardest part of your healing

2. How has healing affected the ret of your life?

3. WHat was your preferred method of healing?

4. Were you prescribed midication, and if so, what kind?

5. Side effects of meds?

6. Bad effects of therapy?

7. Any holistic healing, ie hyppnotherapy?

_________________________
"You live it or lie it" Metallica

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#123311 - 02/03/05 03:37 AM Re: Favor questions
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
1. What was the hardest part of your healing?

Making the connection between life problems and the abuse, “Oh yeah, I was abused, but it didn’t affect me.” Um… it did.

Once I made the connection I was able work through it.

2. How has healing affected the ret of your life?

I finally have a life. No more drinking, no more fighting with my wife, no lying, and I found out nobody is really out to get me.

3. What was your preferred method of healing?

I have an eclectic toolbox that I filled with a whole lot of things I learned from my therapist, books, retreats, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, and Buddhist Philosophy. I was able to pick and choose what worked for me, and use them all to this day.

4. Were you prescribed medication, and if so, what kind?

A long time ago, one doctor prescribed Prozac because I didn’t know it was the abuse that was making me depressed and angry, I didn’t tell him, and he didn’t know to ask the right questions.

5. Side effects of meds?

I had the typical “sexual side effects.”

6. Bad effects of therapy?

Once I found the right therapist, there were no bad effects. But if you have the wrong therapist... you are wasting your time.

7. Any holistic healing, i.e. hypnotherapy?

Nope.


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#123312 - 02/03/05 02:58 PM Re: Favor questions
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
1. WHat was the hardest part of your healing

the very beginning, realising that I needed help ( although I didn't know 'what help' back then ) and the very first disclosurse ( to my wife )

2. How has healing affected the ret of your life?

outside of abuse related issues my life has improved dramatically.
This is due to regaining / finding self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.

3. WHat was your preferred method of healing?

Therapy, firstly 1 to 1 and still in group.
Lot's of hard personal work, and keeping a journal.

4. Were you prescribed midication, and if so, what kind?

Short periods of Prozac,

5. Side effects of meds?

but it made my panic attacks worse so I stopped

6. Bad effects of therapy?

None

7. Any holistic healing, ie hyppnotherapy?

None so far except one short session of art therapy which was very revealing.

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#123313 - 02/03/05 07:02 PM Re: Favor questions
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
Quote:
Originally posted by yesac76:
1. WHat was the hardest part of your healing

2. How has healing affected the ret of your life?

3. WHat was your preferred method of healing?

4. Were you prescribed midication, and if so, what kind?

5. Side effects of meds?

6. Bad effects of therapy?

7. Any holistic healing, ie hyppnotherapy?
1. I think hardest part for me, of healing, is accepting of all it, that it happen, and then becoming to feel again. Because I had so much been numb, I never feel anything when all it is happening. Now I am learning again to feel, both good and bad things. But also, in our culture, it is not accepted, not talked about, even as happening to girls. My parents, when first I tried to tell them, they did not understand it, get angry with me and call me gay, say why did I do something to make this happen. Now they do understand it better, but still, I do not know it is something I could talk about so much if I were living still at home. At home, I would not even be in therapy right now, because of how our culture looks at that, like it is only for crazy people.

2. I think I am seeing healing affecting me in rest of my life, in that I am growing up some. I am realizing that last year, before I really start to heal of this, I was still very much like a child in many ways. Maybe not always is bad thing, but I was to needing of others, and not having confidence to take care myself, and now I know I can protect myself some. I can be even angry, and rude maybe, and it is not 'bad' thing, even though it still make me feel bad and guilty some if it happen. But I use to be so afraid those things, and now I know they are 'real' and 'normal' things. I am starting more to feel better of myself, and not depending on what other people say to me of myself no more. I use to not feel good of something unless someone else tell me I done good with it. Now I can know it to myself.

3. I do not know I have answer to this. I think I only am doing one 'method' of healing, which is to be with therapist, take some medicine. I do journal now, which I did not do before because it is to much like school work, and I also paint, and what I paint, it is sometime quite dark in nature. I do not know if those are healing methosds.

4. I have been on two kind of medicines for this. First I was on Effexor, then Remron, for depressions with the anxiety and to help me maybe to sleep and eat better. But neither them really work so good. I have been on Depikote for few months now, and it seem to work more better for me. I still get scared more sometime, and still have bad dreams, but I think it is getting better, and it is not so much I am very upset and scared or very down of things. It is more like normal feelings.

5. I do not know really I have side efects of medicine, other then the two that just did not seem to help so much.

6. I also do not knwo I have any bad efects of therapy. Sometime I wish I have not started it, and I can go back to not feeling again, because sometime feeling it just hurt to much, and is to hard. But I know I am better this year then I was last year. And therapy is part of that, so that is good to me.

7. No, I do not think so.

Good luck.

Andrei

(Edit because it post before I am done)


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#123314 - 02/03/05 08:15 PM Re: Favor questions
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. WHat was the hardest part of your healing
Actuallly admitting that I could not do it by myself and would have to trust someone. Scared the bejesus out of me.
2. How has healing affected the ret of your life?
It is helping me to live life and enjoy what is left for me. I dont think it is healing really. I will always have the scars but it is the ability to not let the past screw up the future for me because that is where I am going to spend the rest of my life. I have a far better relationship with myself,others and most of all my wife and daughter
3. WHat was your preferred method of healing?
Dont think I really had one. Tried to hide it for 40 years. Coping strategies just pushed me further into self loathing. Tried suicide 3 times. Acted out periodically. Lashed out at those tht love me the most. Could not stand not being in control. Hated authority. That was my first method. Did not work worth an damn.

Second was going to get help. Terrified me but I persisted. Therapy and a PDoc and Group therapy helped a lot.

Joined a health club to get a facsimilie of the body I had when I was assaulted. Has done wonders for my self esteeem. I can look after my addiction to pain by the burning I get and instead of miring me in the much it is good for me.

Joined Malesurvivor and posted and helped and got help. Became a Moderator (good one I hope) and that has given me a sense of self worth and esteem. I find I get a hell of a lot of help by helping others. Sounds screwy I know but it does.


4. Were you prescribed midication, and if so, what kind?
I tried Zoloft and Paxil Neither of them worked and really screwed me up.

I am now on 300mg of Welbutrin and 150 mg of Effexor. I am told that they control the dopamine and two other things that can screw the part of your brain that handles feeling good or depressed. I know it works most of the time.
5. Side effects of meds?
I used to sweat like a stuck pig whenever I played hockey, skated, mountainbiked etc. But now I think I am climatized to them
6. Bad effects of therapy?
Before I started into therapy I never had nightmares. Since I have been in therapy the nightmares at first were non stop and I could not get a decent nights sleep. I would wake up screaming sometimes 3-4 times a night. These nightmares have become very rare now and I can ususally trace their re-occurance to something that has triggered me. As an example I am terified of retirement. I now realize that I based a lot of my self worth on never being fired and working hard. 65 sort of means being let go because I have no worth. Ergo Nightmares big time. I am still working on that
7. Any holistic healing, ie hyppnotherapy?
I attended a level one retreat and that included a lot of stuff some of which might be categorized as holistic.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#123315 - 02/04/05 06:24 PM Re: Favor questions
Rustam Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 473
Loc: UK
1, getting to a place where I felt I deserved help, that my misery was not all my fault.

2, I now want to live and get better. More self-honesty and acceptance, generally much happier.

3, Therapy 1 to 1, reading and now this site. I just started a 2 month mens sexuality group. Not for survivors. Only been once, looks promising.

4, I used to use Prozac for depression and sleeping tablets.

5, when the depression was lifting, my suicide impulses became much stronger, and I found it hard to control my anger.

6, Bank balance suffers ;\) . One unethical therapist whom I secretly taped and who was struck off, was scary and happily not my first.

7, None.


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#123316 - 02/05/05 01:42 AM Re: Favor questions
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
1. What was the hardest part of your healing?

Accepting that it wasn’t my fault.

Hard is a relative word. I don’t believe I find it hard since it is a labor of love for myself. Although it definitely isn’t easy.

2. How has healing affected the ret of your life?

I’m carrying the heavy load of guilt anymore, letting me stand taller. I am more confident and don’t mumble like I used to. I can take care of myself instead of just others. I’m more open, to myself and others. Best of all, it gave me courage to stand up for myself, including filing charges against some of the perps.

3. What was your preferred method of healing?

Talking, talking, and talking some more. Both with support people and in therapy.

4. Were you prescribed medication, and if so, what kind?

Started off with Serzone (anti-depressant), Ativan (anti-anxiety) and a sleeping pill. Then four different sleeping pills. Currently on Lamictal, Neurontin, and lithium carbonate.

5. Side effects of medications?

None have been observed with any of them, including the “may cause drowsiness” warning on sleeping pills.

6. Bad effects of therapy?

The hashing up of memories and a large increase in flashbacks. As put by my ex-wife, “why do you go to therapy when you come home upset?”

7. Any holistic healing, i.e. hypno-therapy?

Just beginning with a EMDR therapist.

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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