This day comes again. Last year, it was so hard to make it through this day, this week. And again, here it is.
You would be 23 years old today Makar. You would be a man, with a life of your own, and who would only know what we would be to each other, how much we would see each other. We would maybe see each other only one or two times a year, if my life were to be similar and I were to live outside of our country. Or perhaps you would do the same and we would be physically closer.
I want you to know, you are not now, not ever, forgotten. Your life was short, but your spirit has lasted so long. I know that you have been with me in my life. I know that you have even saved my life, when it has been 'not my turn' to go yet. We shared so short a time on this earth together, but what I most remember of you is the laugh, that 'little baby' laugh when I tickled you, how warm you were when we were asleep together, and how good you smelled, so much 'baby smell' always. You were a beautiful child, and I know you would have been a beautiful man. Even though your time physically in my life was so short, I can not imagine my life without you having been in it.
Thank you for being my guardian angel, my guiding star. Thank you for your gentle reminders that my life is not yet over, that there is more I am to do here. And thank you for bringing into my life someone I value so greatly as close to a true 'brother' as I could imagine. No one will take your place, ever. But thank you for helping me find someone to fill some of the emptiness in my heart and soul. Thank you for being a soft, gentle and loving presence in my life, even now.
Happy Birthday my brother. I love you.