I am ok now - but would like to have a happy day

last night and this morning were - very difficult -

more in terms of the interpersonal loneliness -

I don't seem to be able to make a goal of 'making friends' -

it's something I do - as I go along - meeting and chatting -

and I get along with some very well - we have good chats -

but any time - there seems to be a concerted effort to make friends -

that is - when friends - do not happen -

and or boyfriends too - they just happen - as well - it seems -

I meet nice people - though -

but those caring connections - just 'happen'

here in Boston - there is a concentration of intellectual focus -

it's the major industry here after all...

it helps clear certain aspects of thought and

so wonderful for clearing my head about my life -

at the same time - I've found a new isolation -

I am warm inside my home- I've got my tree going -

but keenly aware - of the hardship of life - it seems the new England culture is perhaps

that we live by a pragmatism of individual self responsibility and never stray into

and ebullience, a joy - (yes maybe excessive - warmth) towards each other.

it's perhaps - the English land of common sense attitude - taken to the frontier and a self run (and not 'society' ) oriented culture.

connection would be distracting to the non pragmatic - ???

whatever -

I need more than this - at times - in a big way - but again - I also need the pragmatic reminders -

Right now - I don't want to think pragmatically - I am so uninspired to live a life - of just ultimate duty -

it seems no one is perhaps -but at times conveniently claim they are - as use of a kind of
public relations imagery -

I wish I had some motivation right now - but I don't -

I need a day of bonding with my apartment -

been workin' too hard -

maybe some random snacking too.

anyways - ttyl !

Mark

MGB,
Currently the Brits have gone beyond pragmatism, according to The Telegraph. Political correctness seems to have taken on a cloak of absurdity, but reality can be absurd, that's what so funny. But then we have Bubba Bush. Talk about psychosis in action. Lord, help your servant froggy 12. Or is it too late? Miserere mei!

froggy12

Hi you guys,
i may be way off here but are you talking about the polically correct way to think, feel and act; VS, the spiritual, emotional, and loving way? if you are then this is what i think about it. i can't live my life the way others want me to. i have tried and failed because that is not who i am, nor is that what i want to be. i think this whole planet is just nuts, not just bubba bush. so for me watching all these people walk around with out a clue as to what is real and what isn't helps me to trust my own gut and my own god. I have to experience positive emotion, dairing love, my own spiritual fullness, and some happiness. you can only have these real gifts through love. i am talking aabout loving yourself too, unconditionaly, with out judgements or expectations. screw what others think as to what you should be doing, acting and feeling. think of something silly that you would like to do that others might tees you about if they found out and do it anyway. You don't have to tell anyone just do it. In other words, be who you are without censorship and you will find inspiration. You will find you. Your most precious gift ever. light and luv, sis