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#122735 - 12/22/04 07:05 PM Worst movie Hall O' Fame
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Recently, someone asked me, since I was such a movie buff, what the WORST movie I've ever seen was. This is almost as hard as figuring out what my FAVORITE movie was. I mean, what is the criteria? Something painful to watch? A truly craptastic film experience? Or a so-bad-it's-too-damn-funny cinematic crapstopiece (yeah, I like the word "crap!" :rolleyes: )? I'm of the opinion that there is something redemming in all examples of cinema, but truthfully, there are atrocious films out there.

So, I guess what I want from people are their opinions on what the worst movie of all time is, so they can be added to the Unofficial Worst Movie Hall O' Shame.

My humble suggestions -

"Street Fighter." Most movies (I exempt the first "Mortal Kombat") based on video games have "flush twice" written all over them. This one is truly no exception. An embarassment on every level. So much so that all involved NEVER SPEAK of their roles in this film depth-charge. The true tragedy is that this was the last film appearence of the truly talented Raul Julia as the scene-chewing-and-vomiting villain M. Bison.

"Battlefield Earth" - A tip: Never use a film ONLY TO PUSH THE ECCENTRIC RELIGION OF EVERYONE INVOLVED! This should've been titled "Battlefield Scientology," as it was based on a (actually very good) novel written by the founder, starred a major proponent of the cult, and was directed by a follower. John Travolta deserved better, but since he was the producer, no excuse for him. He chewed the scenery as Terl, yet another villain so hammy he should've had a handlebar mustache to twirl 'round his finger as he cackled evilly. Terl didn't. He should've, considering he was one hairy b*****d!

"Vibes" - Don't worry if you haven't heard of this one, as it lasted approximately 1 second in the theaters back in the late '80s. A horrifying mishmash of psychic phenomena and "Romancing the Stone," only worse written. More's the pity considering the acting talent involved, namely Peter Falk and Jeff Goldblum. Future moviemakers should take note: bad writing and bad directing CANNOT BE SALVAGED by good actors if all they're given are lousy dialogue. And Cyndi Lauper is a fine singer, but she is NOT an actor!

I'll add more later. Please feel free to add your own.

Peace and love,

Scot \:D

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#122736 - 12/22/04 08:13 PM Re: Worst movie Hall O' Fame
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Pirannah 2 : The Spawning!

Flying carnivorous fish! How can you beat that?

DUCK!


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#122737 - 12/22/04 10:50 PM Re: Worst movie Hall O' Fame
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
i love movies and fast cars, so when I saw "The Fast and The Furious" advertised I just had to see it.

That was CRAP!

Truly awful on ALL counts, not even the chase sequences could redeem it.

I watched "Bullit" with Steve McQueen again the other night, now that's a PROPER car chase.

Dave \:D

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#122738 - 12/22/04 11:37 PM Re: Worst movie Hall O' Fame
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
It has got to be the carry on movies. Yucck....

ste

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Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#122739 - 12/24/04 07:22 PM Re: Worst movie Hall O' Fame
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
A few more....

"Plan 9 From Outer Space" - Most critics rate this as the worst movie ever made. I for one agree with 'em! Too easy to pick on, from the bad-even-by-'50s-standards schlock sci-fi plot, to the fact that its featured star, Bela Legosi, had died BEFORE filming started, so the director, Ed Wood (the worst movie DIRECTOR of all time), used 15 minutes of Legosi movie footage and had his villain played the rest of the time by some doctor who resembled him - FROM THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! Oh, yes, let's NOT forget the again abysmal-even-by-'50s-standards special effects (frisbees for flying saucers - thrown from off-screen!) - and the bad actors (Tor Johnson - professional wrestler/child frightener, Vampira - the first Elvira, but not as talented, and The Amazing Christof - bad psychic-to-the-stars whose only appearence is to remind the audience that the movie is, oooooohhhh, creepy, primarily by his looks!)

"Monsturd" - Okay, since I never heard of this one until a visit to Blockbuster, I knew it was direct-to-video, and thus horrible. But the title intrigued me. The movie itself lived up to it. A monster that comes from the sewer comprised of, yep, crap, terrorizing innocent civilians. Thank GOD for direct-to-video! I'd never know without it how many REALLY awful movies get the green light!

ANYTHING RECENTLY STARRING JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME! - I liked him way back in the '80s, when he was being set up as the thinking man's action star. Thanks, however, to bad decisions regarding movie projects (he screwed up and starred in too many big-screen sewer-bombs), he's the poster boy for direct-to-video. Avoid at all costs any movie you see at the video store with his name on it that you don't remember (and a few that you do!).

ANYTHING RECENTLY STARRING SYLVESTER STALLONE - See above, except replace '80s with '70s.

ANYTHING RECENTLY STARRING STEVEN SEGAL - See above, except replace "thinking man's action star" with "living robot." Jeez, the late Charles Bronson had more acting range than Segal does! And I include now, with him being dead!

Please add more. I could use the laughs! \:D

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#122740 - 12/24/04 08:56 PM Re: Worst movie Hall O' Fame
yesac76 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/23/04
Posts: 508
Loc: Idaho
Worst movie ever: SHOWGIRLS. Bad acting, crappy>
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"You live it or lie it" Metallica

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#122741 - 12/25/04 08:30 PM Re: Worst movie Hall O' Fame
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Probably the worst movie I ever saw was Home Alone, I know it was a big hit. Don't ask me how.

It was on a day much like today. Somewhat sunny, about 10*F and I was out changing an engine in my 4x4. My fingers were numb and covered in grease and the knuckles were cut up and bloody. Going in to watch that movie and warm up was a welcome call. Not too far into the movie I was begging to go out in the cold and bang my knuckles some more - that was far more enjoyable than being tortured by that movie.

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Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#122742 - 12/27/04 06:45 PM Re: Worst movie Hall O' Fame
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
"Muriel, Or The Time of the Return" - Okay, anyone remember the "experimental" films of the late '60s-early '70s? Usually, the word "experimental" could be replaced by "bad." This one topped-em-all. The opening scene was a madly-edited montage, the "soundtrack" was horrible atonal music that sounds like an orchestra being tuned up, and the story was a confused mess of some vaguely disatisfied woman, her equally mopey lover (who kept talking about fighting in Algiers) and her dips**t son who really had no purpose but wandering into a scene, drinking tea, and leaving. I enjoy foreign films, but this exemplifies how bad French cinema can be.

"The Avengers" - Hollywood should just plain stop messing with my childhood memories. I enjoyed the TV series this was based on, and they succeeded in crapping on it. Made worse by featuring good actors behaving badly (Ralph Finnes, Uma Thurman, and Sean Connery).

"Captain America" - "When Captain America throws his might shield..." Hopefully he will decapitate me with it before I see this monstrosity again. Back when a Marvel license couldn't GET a decent movie made, this was the worst of the lot. And it's painfully funny to see the Captain's costume, complete with rubber ears! You guessed it, they couldn't figure out a way to leave his real ears outside the mask, so they glued on rubber ones.

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#122743 - 12/27/04 10:23 PM Re: Worst movie Hall O' Fame
yesac76 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/23/04
Posts: 508
Loc: Idaho
Another truly horrid movie. Pink Floyd's The Wall. I have attempted to watch it a few times. It MAKES NO SENSE. I have been told to understand it, I would need to be on acid. Not an acceptable reason to do drugs!

_________________________
"You live it or lie it" Metallica

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#122744 - 12/28/04 01:41 AM Re: Worst movie Hall O' Fame
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
I tend to use a sliding scale for my critiques of movies.

Meaning that if somebody spends millions upon millions to make a movie and then promotes the crap out of it, it had better be damned good!

Otherwise, it is a monumental flop and has taken up way too much time, attention and energy in proportion to it's contribution to the world.

I think the last Star Wars, Attack of the Klowns, or Clownes, or whatever, definitely fits in this category. Bad, bad acting. No idea what the story was. Wooden movement and glacial plot flow.

On the other hand, a little movie of no consequence that manages to strike my funny bone or touch my heart without overbearing affect scores very big in my book. Harold and Maude was one of those movies for me.

I persoanlly feel that they should pay ME to see their movies and not vice versa....but alas they do not agree.

Thanks,

_________________________
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

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