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#122625 - 12/23/06 07:27 PM Re: Discussion Board Culture
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Guys, I'm not naming anyone, because I would have to include my own name on the list.

I think it's really a matter of respect. In real life you wouldn't interrupt someone's conversation in order to talk about a completely different topic. The same respect should apply here. We have a lot of very productive (and provocative) discussions going on, and a thousand different opinions. So people are going to disagree, or get angry, or whatever. But, we are all adults and need to show respect to one-another.

Personally, I have started using the "10 minute rule" with my posts. I write a reply, then go away for 10-15 minutes and do something else, then come back and re-read my reply. If it looks ok, I submit it. More times than not, however, I either edit it, or just delete it altogether.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#122626 - 12/23/06 09:46 PM Re: Discussion Board Culture
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Adam, it is true, we can take blame easily, and, honestly, I have been not far from starting to blame myself for starting this thread... Whatever, I needed to say how it feels sometimes to post here...

selene, it is good that what you need is experience of others. It is cool. I also need it sometimes. Sometimes, however, I become very low (who doesn't?) and I need to hear words of support.

Nobby, I am glad to hear about your own experience of dealing with "hard threads". Sometimes when I see that a survivor says that he feels sick, tired, or that he is tired, my first reaction would be wild. I am not a good supporter when faced with other's emotions. My abusers were hurt and they made me hurt when they explained to me their pain, while raping me.

That means, I take some days to respond to the posts in which people cry for help. I really do, or I can just shout a couple of senseless words in response to the thread. When I think a bit, I can reply more constructively.

But - every one's experience is different.

I see this thread now as an attempt to focus on the problematic issues arising during our every day discussion.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#122627 - 12/23/06 09:52 PM Re: Discussion Board Culture
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I know that I am guilty of it, but if you do it, just turn attention back to the original post.
I often wonder just how these boards are so mellow, but hey, dont stop posting if you have to think before you write stuff.

I dont think we put ourselves first, I dont, because I hate myself.
I would rather do someone a favor than let them down.

You also have to think of the different cultures of ppl on the boards, I am English, Alexey is Russian, most of you guys live in the states, but we do have differing cultures in etiquette.

As a rule of thumb, if a topic is getting seriously out of control, refuse to take further part in it, and tell the mods, or state your reasons as to why you think the topic should cease.

I think we need to avoid politics, as we all have differing views on it, but religion should be kept in Spirituality forum where you dont need to go if you have strong views against it.

"Dont walk on the grass",

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#122628 - 01/01/07 06:33 AM Re: Discussion Board Culture
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
I am responding again to this, because tonight I am angry and hurt. I posted something, of something that have caused me flashbacks and very confused and bad feelings. One member here use that post to not address anything I said, but to make political statement of his own. That is just wrong, and rude.

VN


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#122629 - 01/01/07 06:51 AM Re: Discussion Board Culture
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
I have deleted my comments from the relevant thread.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#122630 - 01/01/07 05:10 PM Re: Discussion Board Culture
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11020
Loc: Denver, CO
Alexey,

I didn't read all of the replies so that I could stay with your original post. Your thread confirms an original suspicion I gave myself. When wanting to respond to other's posts, sometimes I want to offer a similar experience or feeling so the other person does not feel isolated in the circumstance. In doing so, I may wander, forget that it is someone else's need and topic, and get somewhat self-absorbed.

Your topic has raised my awareness on the subject, and I will try my best to remember that the thread is for the original topic-starter, and not about me. \:\)

A

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#122631 - 01/03/07 10:53 PM Re: Discussion Board Culture
sis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/05/06
Posts: 195
Loc: Arizona
Okay, if i have done this and offended anyone then please forgive me. Happy New year cathy


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#122632 - 01/04/07 12:56 PM Re: Discussion Board Culture
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Brothers and sisters, peace to you.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

Top
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