everyone does it and will keep doing it, because in the end everyone just cares about themselves and themselves only.

and i guess that is an evolutionary thing, that we have for survival. but it still sucks.

sometimes sharing our own experiences is the only help we can offer,maybe a longwinded way of saying hey your not alone.maybe it would be better to just say nothing.

Amen Alexey!

I agree with points of view.

Shadow, I think it is a good point about saying nothing. Not every post here gets a robust support feedback. Some posts provoke debating, of course. For myself, I decided to try to think about what the person who started a topic wants, and then go to wnat I can offer them at this moment.

Thanks for reply

Alexey

I am sorry you feel as this. It must be lonely for you. But I am glad that most people do not feel as this. This place, it is many people who do care of each other. Some day perhaps you will see it as that. I hope you will.

To the issue that was raised, yes, it is valid thing I think. When a person posts here, what they say, it is very much speaking what is their need right then. As much of that, what a person say can trigger responses of others because it do make them think how such thoughts and fears can relate to their own situation. I think it, personal, that it is all right to respond with how things relate to us, if it is in such the way of how things relate also to the original post. We all only have our own experiences and knowledge to give as advices to others. It is just most importent to not 'make' the post about ourself, but keep it as response to other person. There is always 'new topic' button where we can post of what the first one bring up to us.

VN

a really great interpretation Visha.

Thanks Visha. Your words are very true.

Alexey

I've been thinking about this recently. I've seen a lot of good threads killed by very off-topic posts. Personally, I think this is toxic to the discussions we are having here.

All I can ask is, if you are going to write a reply, see if it is a response to the thread, or if it is off-topic. If you are going off-topic, then it is probably best to start a new thread rather than interrupt an otherwise productive discussion.

Nobbynobs,

Thanks. I agree with you.

IT is better to start a new thread to let steam off, while being triggered by someone's cry for help.

Of course, sometimes, really good and deep threads can be terminated by the posts that are not touching the topic at all. I saw it too.

Be well!

Alexey

i think that some good points are in this thread if this is too off topic please let me know,one thing i know is true for me is when i read a post like this ,and some of the responses show this clearly ,i imediately think well it must be me they are talking about,csa kinda makes us blame takers you know? thats one of the things we all need to work on . i think many of us already blame ourselves for too much shit ,and dont need any more things to feel guilty about.would it not be better for everyone if you feel somebody is taking away your chance to find answers for yourself ,that you contact that person by pm or other means . i'll bet half the guys here read this and thought shit i wonder if its me. something so open ended can cause innocent people to add a little more guilt to the mountain they already carry. my reaction was to think to myself i should just stop posting at all ,i dont think thats what this post intended ,but survivors are known for taking things very seriously ,yes? adam