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#12253 - 10/14/02 12:47 PM Healing - three stages
Thad Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/28/01
Posts: 1752
Loc: Oakland, CA
From a string of great posts under "Affirmations" I wanted to re-post this so it didn't get lost. (originally from Don-NY)

STAGE ONE: REMEMBERING

I am in a breakthrough crisis, having gained some sense of my abuse.
I have determined that I was physically, sexually or emotionally abused as a child.
I have made a commitment to recovery from my childhood abuse.
I shall re-experience each set of memories as they surface in my mind.
I accept that I was powerless over my abusers' actions which holds THEM responsible.
I can respect my shame and anger as a consequence of my abuse, but shall try not to turn it against myself or others.
I can sense my inner child whose efforts to survive now can be appreciated.

STAGE TWO: MOURNING

I have made an inventory of the problem areas in my adult life.
I have identified the parts of myself connected to self-sabotage.
I can control my anger and find healthy outlets for my aggression.
I can identify faulty beliefs and distorted perceptions in myself and others.
I am facing my shame and developing self-compassion.
I accept that I have the right to be who I want to be and live the way I want to live.
I am able to grieve my childhood and mourn the loss of those who failed me.

STAGE THREE: HEALING

I am entitled to take the initiative to share in life's riches.
I am strengthening the healthy parts of myself, adding to my self-esteem.
I can make necessary changes in my behavior and relationships at home and work.
I have resolved the abuse with my offenders to the extent that is acceptable to me.
I hold my own meaning about the abuse that releases me from the legacy of the past.
I see myself as a thriver in all aspects of life - love, work, parenting, and play.
I am resolved in the reunion of my new self and eternal soul.

_________________________
"..this place isn't a discussion forum..it's a portal..." Lupin
"The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off." dwf's AA sponsor.

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#12254 - 10/15/02 01:57 PM Re: Healing - three stages
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Brian:

Amen!

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#12255 - 10/15/02 08:50 PM Re: Healing - three stages
Gary - CDN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/16/02
Posts: 28
Loc: Hamilton, Ontario Canada
Amen again for stage 4. This is a tough road and I know what it is like to be alone. It is always nice to give something back.

Gary


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#12256 - 10/16/02 11:28 AM Re: Healing - three stages
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
"Leaping Upon the Mountains" by Mike Lew (his first book was "Victims No Longer") is full of not only great tips & pointers from fellow survivors around the world, but also great encouragement and a section of affirmations.

I'll also post this in the book section.

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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