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#122367 - 12/06/04 02:00 PM Watch out!
Aden Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 499
I donít fear the potential predators lurking on this web site. But some of the regulars scare the hell out of me. The abusiveness which is allowed and protections afforded to certain dominate members renders the point of this site moot. Brotherly love turns so quickly to vicious vindictive.

You did a good job of driving me away (for the most part) but you fail to give what you offer. Your open acceptance and brotherly love is a sham. Any well meaning, kind hearted person who comes here looking to get and give help is most likely to be treated to a devastating assault by lions, tigers and bears. Oh My! Once I figured out that you were not interested in what I had to say, did not care about what I thought, and were hostile toward my feelings,

Well, that is just one mans experience. Some of you will likely fair better. But donít be fooled by superficial kindness or manipulative good will. Not all of the abusers are lurking in the background. Some of them are waiting for you with open arms and hardy welcomes.

There are some good guys here. Just pay attention to who is doing what. The loudest voice isnít always the kindest.


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#122368 - 12/06/04 11:09 PM Re: Watch out!
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Aden, One of the wonderful things about the people in this discussion forum is that the vast majority of them are compassionate and caring people. The second wonderful thing about them is that they understand anger, having felt it, and they know that sometimes it spills into the words we write in this forum. But the best thing is that most of us are forgiving and have experienced that forgiveness from our fellow members here when we have been angry and intemperate in our remarks. I know, I have been the recipient of that forgiveness. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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#122370 - 12/07/04 03:45 AM Re: Watch out!
MikeNY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
Aden,
I am truly sorry that you have experienced harm while trying to heal. If you are not going to continue to be here, I hope that you will find help healing elsewhere. I may not always appear to, but I do always appreciate others input on things, even if it is completely contradictory to my personal opinions. When it contradicts me, it helps me to learn more. I wish you much luck on your healing journey. I will miss you.
\:\)

_________________________
"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

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#122371 - 12/07/04 05:05 AM Re: Watch out!
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Ya, I hate to see the vitriol and vindictiveness that comes from some of our words to one another.
It is so sad that we have a place like this and not want to treat one another like long lost brothers and friends who also need shelters from the storm.
I can't begin to describe how much I've gotten from the guys here. The acceptance was everything. Then came the good advice I received just by reading the various posts. Coming here got me connected to the therapist who is helping get through this crap. The retreats, the conference, geez, too much to try to explain. But it's all here, just waiting to fill our cups to overflowing.
Soon, we'll have another retreat schedule, our conference will be soon planned out and then the guys here will begin to plan which events they want to attend.
Who hasn't met at least one or two guys here who you'd like to have nearer, so that you could interact on a personal level, in person.
I'm so very sorry if someone doesn't take and eat from this banquet of incredible opportunity of help and growth.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#122372 - 12/07/04 10:36 PM Re: Watch out!
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Aden - I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable posting here any longer, I really miss your unique wit and humour, as well as thoughtful insight on many topics. I don't post a great deal, but do come here everyday to just read. I do hope you'll come back often and post when and if you feel comfortable, and I appreciate all that you've shared with me as well.

Best regards,
Eddie

_________________________
Eddie

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#122373 - 12/08/04 10:39 PM Re: Watch out!
Ivo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 267
Loc: Germany
Aden I miss you very much.
You helped me a lot with my nightmares. Thank you.
Please share your wisdom with us.

I hope that you are doing well,
Ivo


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#122374 - 12/08/04 11:00 PM Re: Watch out!
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
I can't imaging a more gracious, "welcome back."

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#122375 - 12/10/04 04:49 PM Re: Watch out!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Aden, is it that we only meet through words and gestures, not in mind? We are all different individuals healing through our individual hurt.

Finding friends is never easy, it is so much harder if you do not try, I come here to find answers to lifelong problems, sometimes my mind is numb sometimes it's OK, that is the picture,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#122376 - 12/13/04 09:49 AM Re: Watch out!
Aden Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 499
That was humbling! Thank you guys. It is 4:00AM and I am about to sleep having just read your responses. I will sleep easy and dream well because of you kindnesses.


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#122377 - 12/19/04 02:54 AM Re: Watch out!
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Welcome back Aden. You and I, we have not always seen eye to eye, but I respect your intelligence and what you have to offer to this site.

And I agree. Watch out. Not only of some people maybe here, but of 'puppet masters' not even present here right now. (Or are they?)



leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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