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#121935 - 06/06/06 09:37 AM Dont know what to do
poppasrose Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/06/06
Posts: 1
Loc: Pennsylvania
I need help, I dont know what to do, or how to help.. My husband is in jail, my daughter 15 accused him of rape plus other statements she made to policce and child and youth... she flashed him, grabbed his hand and put it on her breasts, between her legs and gropped him... she dont see him as a father but wants him as a boyfriend... she has snuck out to be with boys... and causing trouble.. she told my husband she would wait for him til I died then does all this other stuff..how do I handle this I feel like Im going crazy...she started this when we wouldnt let her date a 18yr old who has a history of assault on females any suggestions??? My husband lost his job and now we can'f afford an attorney some who please any suggestions...

_________________________
poppas rose

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#121936 - 06/06/06 08:07 PM Re: Dont know what to do
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Are you totally sure he never did anything?
This sounds like some weird schoolgirl fantasy, or maybe she was jealous of him and you being together.

Sounds like she did it to hurt you, not knowing how serious a charge like that is.
Is she remorseful of the outcome of him being kept in jail?

There is a load of questioning there, but this should be in F&F forum, unless you are seeking professional help, I cannot give that,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#121937 - 06/07/06 12:05 AM Re: Dont know what to do
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Poppasrose,

It's so difficult to comment on the complicated situation you describe, but the key is clearly your daughter. I of course can't say whether she is or isn't telling the truth. But either way, she needs support and professional help to sort out a lot of problems. I hope you are making sure she gets that help. Eventually it ought to clarify a lot either way.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#121938 - 06/07/06 04:22 PM Re: Dont know what to do
ForeverFighting Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1058
Loc: New Mexico, USA
She sounds like my sister. Obviously sex is overly important to her, which makes me wonder what's happened in her life. My sister went from the model student to trying to steal her best friend's husband who was probably 20 years older than her at the time. She'd expose herself, sitting wide-legged as men approached her. Honestly, I don't know what happened to her. I know I was sexually abused in the family, so I assume she must have been, too. And maybe she had the same feelings, that sex was the only way to receive love and affection.

She needs help. Therapy. I would also spend a lot of time asking her questions, trying to see if she was ever abused without planting ideas in her mind. The sooner she is able to confront the monsters in her closet, the sooner she may free herself from self-destructive behaviors.

As a side note that nobody wants to talk about, I would never allow my hand to be placed anywhere on my daughter, even if it meant breaking it off at the elbow. I wonder if it would help the whole family to talk to a therapist. Secrets kill families. Truth saves us.

_________________________
ForeverFighting

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

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#121939 - 06/08/06 06:00 AM Re: Dont know what to do
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
poppasrose,

I would encourage you to contact the people at Stop It Now!:

Quote:
Stop It Now! Helpline is a toll-free number for adults who are at risk for sexually abusing a child, for friends and family members of sexual abusers and/or victims, and for parents of children with sexual behavior problems. This helpline service is confidential, available Monday through Friday, 9:00AM-5:00PM (EST) at 1-888-PREVENT (1-888-773-8368).
You can read more about them here:
http://www.stopitnow.com/help.html


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