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#121844 - 06/25/05 05:19 AM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#121845 - 06/25/05 06:41 AM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
I have made so that the friend has told to me about this situation, and I read the some people here it also. I read this set of registration. It is possible, that I am much sillier, than I would think, or probably I not was here so long to know. I do not understand, what it, such problem (release)?

I - not 'member' here. It would connect it that - нибудь, that I shall speak here, it can be read to anyone with a computer. Women. Children. Criminals. My sister. My friends. Probably even my former girlfriends. Anyone who is capable to English language, or has enough desire to use the translator.

It, because emotions which occur here? Or these, which you connect to whom - the one who - not that, they represents as? I think, that I can understand, that, that it would be the lie against trust (trust). But we have no control (management) of the one who reads that we speak, yes? I feel the most convenient as I do not allow my name (name) here, I do not allow such personal details, and then, nobody should 'know' me. It seems to me rather safe. It - not as this person will penetrate through a computer and will hunt on me.

I regret to be the idiot, the drama of a problem (release) confuses me. Probably I completely do not understand it, my apologies.

VN


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#121846 - 06/25/05 07:18 PM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#121847 - 06/27/05 03:56 PM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
In posting on this issue I want to say first that I support the mods and BoD 100% in whatever they decide. The site is here for us, yes, but it is their project! One to which they dedicate untold hours of unpaid time. What serves our best interests as a group is always going to be for them to run it guided by their professional training and experience. They cannot possibly do so by accommodating the personal emotions of individuals stirred up by one issue, however valid those feelings may be. They have to look at the whole picture and I think we have to understand that.

Letís recall here that we are talking about one individual who was abused as a child and then became an abuser himself. I did not see the post in which he described what he did, but I can imagine it was disturbing. But as I remember from his first post on MS he immediately turned himself in. What that is or isnít worth is not the point. The point is that the BoD has studied the situation in detail and has reached a decision on this one case. Soccerkid, you say:

Quote:
Like I said, would you rather be happy with a forum member count of 10,000 and lots of them offenders or would you rather have a forum count of around 3,000 and happier members who aren't triggered on a daily basis.

I think that MS having a open perp policy is wrong.
This is unfair and irresponsible. There is no "open perp" policy and MS is not on the brink of being flooded by thousands of abusers of children. Here is what Ken Singer said in his initial statement:

Quote:
If anyone suspects another member of perpetrator behavior or inappropriate comments, we ask that you pm a mod to report the post or actions. We will check out the posting and make a decision on a case-by-case basis.
Hasn't this always been the case? This is a well-managed and heavily moderated site with a definite security agenda that has been well-explained and justified. I know you say you are a pre-law student, SK, but in all honesty that places you at the beginning of such studies and not further. Your "sweat equity", as you call it, is 0 Ė okay mine as well, but that's fine by me: Iím not claiming any. I donít say this to attack you personally, but only because I think your posturing as an authority confuses a lot of issues and generates heat rather than light.

Dave, I wanted just to draw attention to something you said:

Quote:
One of my fellow mods pointed out the other day when I posted the message about perpetrator policy, that many survivors have engaged in behaviors that are harmful to their loved ones. Should we ban anyone who has engaged in unsafe sexual practices and then has unprotected sex with his partner? Should we ban anyone who has been verbally or physically abusive to his partner or children? Where do we draw the line?
I see what you mean, but I wonder if the analogy holds up. As we are all survivors here, the case of a survivor who has become a child abuser himself is a lot more threatening to the guys here than the case of a survivor who has become unsafe in his sexual habits with adult partners.

My assumption is that the BoD will continue to be thinking about this on an ongoing basis, to see how the present policy on that one case is working out.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#121848 - 06/27/05 06:01 PM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Nicely put Larry. I would only say that this site is ours. And I mean all of us here. You, me, the BOD. MODS are merely guys who are survivors too and may be a little further down the road to living the life we were meant to. I would also hazard a guess that many of the BOD are also survivors. \:\)

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#121849 - 06/27/05 06:29 PM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
The MaleSurvivor bylaws require that at least half of the board must be survivors who are public about their victimization. The board currently has 10 members, seven of whom have publically acknowledged their status as survivors.

Ken


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#121850 - 06/27/05 08:14 PM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#121851 - 06/28/05 02:15 AM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
SoccerKid wrote;
Quote:
Also, my comment "sweat equity" was not suggesting I have given any to the group. I read on this web site that if you are interested in being a member but can't afford it to contact a certain individual, I did asking if I could help, and I was told they don't allow those memberships anymore. I never once suggested that I had any "sweat equity" in MS at all.
To clarify, sweat equity was a way that we offered people who could not afford even the basic membership to contribute to the org without money but with some form of work. We discontinued it last year because some board members felt it was demeaning to ask for labor in lieu of money. Also, the main reason is that there are specific duties that board members do and our part time administrative assistant does that got complicated when we asked others to do them. It just wasn't working out.

Nobody is forced to join. We want to make membership more attractive to those who use the site so that's why we have members' only forums and offer discounts for weekends of healing and conferences.
Ken


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#121852 - 06/28/05 03:54 PM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Hi Soccerkid,

I didnít say you are shallow, nor did I mean to imply that Ė sorry if I gave that idea. What I refer to is your tendency to posture as an authority. You do this frequently and it is not a matter of just an authoritative tone. For example on this thread: "Just to start you guys out", speaking to the mods, and then giving them the link for the union list of sex offenders in the childsafenet website, which I am sure they already know about (that or something similar). Thad, for example, is an experienced attorney in juvenile law, and I somehow doubt that he requires guidance to all the materials made available by the Meganís Law legislation. Why do you think they need you to "start them out" on such an elementary point?

You comment: "I know we are only talking about one person", so, good, we are agreed that the decision on Ranger does not introduce any "open perp policy". On your query as to "who knows what will happen in the future", the answer is of course no one. There is, as I said, no reason at present to fear for a perp invasion of MS; were the situation ever to change, the blip will appear on the radar of the BoD and mods long before you or I pick up on it. Agonizing over everything short of the demonstrably impossible is a waste of emotional energy and personal resources.

You comment: "I think, at least I hope, that the BoD takes all of its members concerns seriously." I am quite sure they do; that is why they have to reach decisions based on their sense of what is best for the group as a whole.

Lastly, your observations on opinion:

Quote:
If my beliefs bug you, fine, I'm sorry, but they are MY beliefs and MY opinions, if you have a problem with them ignore me. I think that allowing perps to post here, for any reason at all even if they DID turn themselves in, is wrong. That is my OPINION.
Of course this is your opinion, otherwise you would have said something else and that would be your opinion. The comment is neither here nor there. What you mean is this: "This is my opinion and because of that you should listen to it", or "it should have some effect". Not really. What are your arguments and do they hold up? I think they donít and neither, apparently, does the BoD. Not because they donít take you Ė as one survivor in particular Ė seriously; I am sure they take you as seriously as anyone else here. The point is that they have already covered that ground in their discussions. That doesnít mean your opinion is worthless; it just means it cannot be conceded here, for reasons that have been clearly stated.

As a university teacher who has been around awhile I think you are probably a sharp student with a lot of potential. I know for sure that your teachers would never let you fall back on the "this is my opinion" argument in any of your university work in law Ė or any other topic for that matter. Thatís just stubborn polemic and the last refuge of demagogues. You are a lot better than that and you shouldnít sell yourself short.

Or at leastÖthat is my opinion. \:\)

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#121853 - 06/30/05 02:28 AM Re: Question about the new Perp Poster Policy
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

Top
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