I'm new to the boards and not a male survivor, but the mother of two sons, one who abused the youngest.

I understand the concept of "triggers" but would appreciate further clarification on the type of things that others would experience as a trigger. The Forum guidelines don't really specify, tho mention triggers.

I certainly don't want to inadvertantly inflict any more pain or angst for someone else. Lord knows there's enough already going around.

HI

"Triggers" I have hundreds of them, firstly think of your favourite song or peice of music, what is the first thing that enters your mind. That is a trigger, my triggers range from any Motown record of the early to mid seventies, through to expensive aftershave, tinned potatoes, sugar in frozen garden peas and it took me many years to listen to the Beatles classic album "Sgt Peppers Lonely hearts Club band", it is only in the last eighteen months that i have been able to listen to this album all the way through in one sitting. That triggers me into thinking about my rape by one man (one of many). What I have personally found is that (for this survivor) there are always new ones lurking around the corner and all it needs is a trigger and I usually then suffer a full blown flashback. the old ones I can handle but its the new ones that freak me out still as there are always new ones, but I deal with them now instead of going out and getting completely wrecked.

However I do know now that these triggers and flashbacks can no longer hurt me, they may upset me for a split second but I deal with them by telling my amazing wife she brings me back into focus.

Take it easy

Kirk

i think if your post might upset someone who maybe isnt strong at the moment, you should use trigger in the subject, just to warn them off. if you talk of abuse in detail, depression, suicide things that a struggling person might be further upset by. that's in terms of when i put trigger in the subject.

now as far as what a trigger is personally, it all depends on the person. for me aromas are very strong triggers. the smell of bread/yeast takes me back to the days when i was being abused. my mom used to bake a lot, and even though that wasnt directly involved in my abuse, it seems to trigger me to go back there for some reason.

If you're unsure of whether or not what you're posting could trigger someone its always good to pot *possible triggers*. And what Phoster said.

For me? Triggers....I don't get them from reading anything cos I dissociate-which is triggered from reading...i think. Okay I'm confused. Reading just makes me dissociate so I'm feeling what the other person is, so I do get triggered in that way, when I read I want to take all the emotions away so they don't feel wo overwhelmed and sad. Other triggers are words or phrases people use aloud, gestures and actions, getting snuck up on, any angry yelling, people flirting with me really messes me up, my friends think its funny to flirt with on another and kids do it who don't like me that much.

Hi Peaceful,

You can see from the different responses how hard it is to pin down just what constitutes a trigger-- because they are mostly based on individual experience-- but there are some common triggers such as specific or explicit de>

Peaceful, a trigger is something that may make a survivor relive past disturbing events, it could be anything, from a smell, to a parallel life event you are going through.

I try to label my post as triggering or ttt, TTT,
it then gives the reader a warning about the post, it is then up to them if they feel they want to read it.

If you post use the * within words like ab*se, sh*t or whatever, it lessens the trigger word value, but sometimes I myself do not adhere to the rule, but I try.

There are users in the forum, who are in various stages of this, and maybe upset at certain things posted, so just be aware of being graphic, or using words identified with a**se,

ste