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#121810 - 05/17/05 11:31 AM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
velvet Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 11
Loc: The Netherlands
Just signed up to stand by a friend.. who appears to be unable to join as well because of his young age (13). This surprises me, because boys who've been absued for a long period of time aren't kids anymore, at least.. that's how I feel about it. Ofcourse, chronologically speaking they only had 13 years to live in.. but they can't be compared to general age-mates.

My friend could really really benefit from being here and I sincerely think, after talking to him for a serious amount of time about this topic, that he isn't too immature or young or whatever to be here as a member.

I've pm'ed Nathan about the possibilities of a 13 y/o registering. The other option would be to just lie about the age while signing up, but that's a false start I guess.. not a nice and welcoming way to join.

Any help or news would be appreciated!


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#121811 - 05/17/05 02:48 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148
never mind


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#121812 - 05/17/05 06:47 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3362
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Hi Charlie,

I've been kind of following this thread since you first posted it (sorry it's taken me this long to put my voice into it - been hopeing that the mods would have you a safe room up and running by now) - even though I am no longer a youth myself (just turned 33) I enjoy working with youth in my life today (I do youth volunteer work)(I love being able to put a smile onto a young persons face who otherwise might not have much to smile about) - I totaly agree with you that todays youth are largely neglected (and this needs to be changed!) and I pray that that is NOT being done by people on this site intentionaly - 'YOU' need to talk - You need to be listened to - You need to be heard - 'WE' need to listen...

I was surprised when I seen my signature quote "Who will cry for the little boy?" in your recent post - I do cry for you Charlie! - I also cry for all of the other youth here - just as I also cry for all of the others here who are older - NONE of us ever did anything to deserve the things that were done to us! - and I'm proud of you and all of the other younger ones here who have the strength and courage to come here and talk! - you've all got the strength and courage that some of us older ones here wish we'd of had years ago...

I appologize to you Charlie (and all of the other youth here) if it seems as if I am not listening to you sometimes - I do read - I do listen - and I appologize that I don't reply more often (ask anyone here - they'll tell you that I'm not a regular responder here (somthing I'm working on)) - I tend to spend more time in the chat room talking (have spent countless hours chatting with youth like Jake and others) - chat to me is a bit more personal - a bit more of a 'real' connection - and yes, a bit more scarry to do (but we need to learn to overcome our fears and this 'can' be a safe place to do it)

Charlie - You're not a bad Kid! (just someone that had bad things happen to them)

I'm here to listen - As I tell everyone else - I'm just a PM away

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#121813 - 05/17/05 07:33 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Charlie, first of all I detect a whole load of anger in you, and it is OK for you to feel that way. These forums are for men " and Boys"

It is real easy to feel like you are on the outside of it, because you are in a minority.

Myself and everyobody here welcome you in, and just talk about anything you feel, dont worry about making men angry, because I bet you will never do that, because most men in here really feel for you.

I am conscious, that there will be boys, who lurk on this site, and absolutely petriified to join for a number of reasons, let me think?
Will my folks find out?
Is it really a site for boys?
I am scared to post?
Will they accept me?
There are a whole raft of reasons why a boy wont join, but the biggest single one is this. That a lot of boys never tell on abusers, so they are forced into silence by their folks not knowing.
And that one is the biggest hurt of all, because many of the posters here, did not tell, when they should have done, and this silence is the biggest hurt of all.
"Who will cry for the little boy"

Just this month, Fisher's first book of poetry was published. The topics of the poems vary — some are about his difficult childhood, but many more are about happiness and love. One poem, featured in the movie, asks “Who will cry for the little boy / who cries inside of me?” Writing poems is therapeutic for Fisher, but the little boy of the poem remains a part of his life today. “The little boy is never free. What my life was as a kid will never go away and will never be erased because that is the childhood experience that I had as a kid — and I was an unhappy kid, but I have become a happier adult,” Fisher said. “Those unhappy times of my childhood were a part of my life to keep me standing up and I revisit them sometimes. So the little boy always cries.”

” He also did not want the film to be exclusively about Antwone as a positive figure who took the situation given to him and turned things around for himself. The film leaves people talking, and not just about the injustices in Antwone's life. Hopefully, the audience will be inspired to create similar success stories for themselves. “We all [have an incredible story],” Fisher said. “You just have to tell it.”

Here is the poem from the movie, and it moves me to cry, especially when it comes from his mouth,

Quote:
A poem recited by the main character reveals the plea for help from Fisher that the psychiatrist responded to: “Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone? Who will cry for the little boy, abandoned without his own? Who will cry for the little boy? He cried himself to sleep. Who will cry for the little boy? He never had for keeps. Who will cry for the little boy? He walked the burning sand. Who will cry for the little boy? The boy inside the man. Who will cry for the little boy? Who knows well hurt and pain. Who will cry for the little boy? He died and died again. Who will cry for the little boy? A good boy he tried to be. Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me?”
Yeah, Charlie the movie moves people, but it moves people like us even more, when we identify with just a little of the guys pain.

Quote:
I don't agree. We are kids (teens) but we know about and understand things most kids our age don't. We know grownup words and acts but it's not the same as being a grownup. Abuse is so confusing, it changes everything but if we can't talk about it here, if you guys can't make this a safe and friendly place to share for men AND boys, where can we talk about it? Who's gonna listen?
It is a safe place, and it dont matter about thinking you are in anyones face, because even the adults think that way, just be you.

You are a fighter, and we admire you, and all the other young ones who join, so dont be so hard on you, \:\)

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#121814 - 05/17/05 09:27 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148



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#121815 - 05/18/05 12:15 AM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
Angels in the Night

A sight for children and teenagers who have been abused that has moderated chat time also. Just is thought.

Andrei


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#121816 - 05/18/05 12:39 AM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Charlie, yeah, we all got temper stuff, but who will cry for the lil boy, I do, I always did,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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