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#121800 - 03/22/05 11:04 PM Young Survivors Forum?
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148



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#121801 - 03/23/05 04:44 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
I think that is a great idea. There would need to be discussion on the subject and some details to work out before this happens, but I agree with you, and we should at least open the idea up for discussion.

Iím glad you spoke up Charlie.

Something that would concern me is the ability to verify the age of members who request access in order to keep the area safe from older imposters with not so innocent intentions.

And how much work would be added to discussion board admin?

Nathan & Lloydy, your thoughts?


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#121802 - 04/10/05 08:44 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5381
Loc: Washington State
Roland, Charlie

My feelings are that this is a great idea. I have no issues adding this to the forum list. I will talk it over with the rest of the admin team and we will see where it takes us. I am still on vaction in CanCun so it might take me a couple of days to get back with you Charlie in this post. If you do not hear from me by Friday please pm me.

Nathan


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#121803 - 04/10/05 08:53 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
then what the heck are you doing in here... get back to your vacation!!


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#121804 - 04/10/05 09:19 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
This has been talked about once before. At the time the "powers to be" felt it would be to hard to keep something like this safe and the libality to MS was to great.

James

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


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#121805 - 04/11/05 10:42 AM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Don't know about the issues, but I am sure there are many. I suppose, if it encouraged young ones who are lurking to join, then it would be a good thing.

Other places that have a treehouse, I find nobody ever uses, so I don't know.

Nathan, glad you took time off to validate my membership, have a nice vac,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#121806 - 04/16/05 04:46 AM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5381
Loc: Washington State
Charlie,

I want to let you and everyone else who is following this thread what is going on. The Mod team is reviewing and researching this issue. This is a idea that needs to be carefully reviewed and researched before we can move on it. I want to give you my word that we will keep working on this idea.


Nathan


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#121807 - 05/14/05 09:00 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
healing_inside Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2005
I feel a young surviros group is good. I agree about some way for age approiate security for posting is a good idea, but not for access to the forum. Not sure if it was going that way, but just thought I would give my 2 cents.

Speaking for myself I have learned a lot about myslef from the missed childhood I had because of the CSA. When I have read the various postings from the young survivors their words have sparked memories that I take to my T to work on..

The young survivors have an important role in the healing from the not young survivors. I guess what I am saying we could learn from each other. My thought is if it is possible to give everyone access for read only purposes and give the young survivors give write access so they can post. I would not be interested in posting in this forum, but I would like to read the posts so the younger Jim inside of me is not left out and finds some healing also. There is big empty void in my childhood and learning from the young survivors will give Jim a well balanced healing.

Just thoughts. Thanks for your time.

-Jim

_________________________
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

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#121808 - 05/15/05 02:13 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#121809 - 05/15/05 07:49 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
What age we are talking of? And I think if there is to be a young forum, it should be like the 'At Risk' one, when you have to contact a moderator to get access. Otherwise, I can see not nice people coming here and going straight to that one.

andrei


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#121810 - 05/17/05 11:31 AM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
velvet Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 11
Loc: The Netherlands
Just signed up to stand by a friend.. who appears to be unable to join as well because of his young age (13). This surprises me, because boys who've been absued for a long period of time aren't kids anymore, at least.. that's how I feel about it. Ofcourse, chronologically speaking they only had 13 years to live in.. but they can't be compared to general age-mates.

My friend could really really benefit from being here and I sincerely think, after talking to him for a serious amount of time about this topic, that he isn't too immature or young or whatever to be here as a member.

I've pm'ed Nathan about the possibilities of a 13 y/o registering. The other option would be to just lie about the age while signing up, but that's a false start I guess.. not a nice and welcoming way to join.

Any help or news would be appreciated!


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#121811 - 05/17/05 02:48 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148
never mind


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#121812 - 05/17/05 06:47 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3391
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Hi Charlie,

I've been kind of following this thread since you first posted it (sorry it's taken me this long to put my voice into it - been hopeing that the mods would have you a safe room up and running by now) - even though I am no longer a youth myself (just turned 33) I enjoy working with youth in my life today (I do youth volunteer work)(I love being able to put a smile onto a young persons face who otherwise might not have much to smile about) - I totaly agree with you that todays youth are largely neglected (and this needs to be changed!) and I pray that that is NOT being done by people on this site intentionaly - 'YOU' need to talk - You need to be listened to - You need to be heard - 'WE' need to listen...

I was surprised when I seen my signature quote "Who will cry for the little boy?" in your recent post - I do cry for you Charlie! - I also cry for all of the other youth here - just as I also cry for all of the others here who are older - NONE of us ever did anything to deserve the things that were done to us! - and I'm proud of you and all of the other younger ones here who have the strength and courage to come here and talk! - you've all got the strength and courage that some of us older ones here wish we'd of had years ago...

I appologize to you Charlie (and all of the other youth here) if it seems as if I am not listening to you sometimes - I do read - I do listen - and I appologize that I don't reply more often (ask anyone here - they'll tell you that I'm not a regular responder here (somthing I'm working on)) - I tend to spend more time in the chat room talking (have spent countless hours chatting with youth like Jake and others) - chat to me is a bit more personal - a bit more of a 'real' connection - and yes, a bit more scarry to do (but we need to learn to overcome our fears and this 'can' be a safe place to do it)

Charlie - You're not a bad Kid! (just someone that had bad things happen to them)

I'm here to listen - As I tell everyone else - I'm just a PM away

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#121813 - 05/17/05 07:33 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Charlie, first of all I detect a whole load of anger in you, and it is OK for you to feel that way. These forums are for men " and Boys"

It is real easy to feel like you are on the outside of it, because you are in a minority.

Myself and everyobody here welcome you in, and just talk about anything you feel, dont worry about making men angry, because I bet you will never do that, because most men in here really feel for you.

I am conscious, that there will be boys, who lurk on this site, and absolutely petriified to join for a number of reasons, let me think?
Will my folks find out?
Is it really a site for boys?
I am scared to post?
Will they accept me?
There are a whole raft of reasons why a boy wont join, but the biggest single one is this. That a lot of boys never tell on abusers, so they are forced into silence by their folks not knowing.
And that one is the biggest hurt of all, because many of the posters here, did not tell, when they should have done, and this silence is the biggest hurt of all.
"Who will cry for the little boy"

Just this month, Fisher's first book of poetry was published. The topics of the poems vary — some are about his difficult childhood, but many more are about happiness and love. One poem, featured in the movie, asks “Who will cry for the little boy / who cries inside of me?” Writing poems is therapeutic for Fisher, but the little boy of the poem remains a part of his life today. “The little boy is never free. What my life was as a kid will never go away and will never be erased because that is the childhood experience that I had as a kid — and I was an unhappy kid, but I have become a happier adult,” Fisher said. “Those unhappy times of my childhood were a part of my life to keep me standing up and I revisit them sometimes. So the little boy always cries.”

” He also did not want the film to be exclusively about Antwone as a positive figure who took the situation given to him and turned things around for himself. The film leaves people talking, and not just about the injustices in Antwone's life. Hopefully, the audience will be inspired to create similar success stories for themselves. “We all [have an incredible story],” Fisher said. “You just have to tell it.”

Here is the poem from the movie, and it moves me to cry, especially when it comes from his mouth,

Quote:
A poem recited by the main character reveals the plea for help from Fisher that the psychiatrist responded to: “Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone? Who will cry for the little boy, abandoned without his own? Who will cry for the little boy? He cried himself to sleep. Who will cry for the little boy? He never had for keeps. Who will cry for the little boy? He walked the burning sand. Who will cry for the little boy? The boy inside the man. Who will cry for the little boy? Who knows well hurt and pain. Who will cry for the little boy? He died and died again. Who will cry for the little boy? A good boy he tried to be. Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me?”
Yeah, Charlie the movie moves people, but it moves people like us even more, when we identify with just a little of the guys pain.

Quote:
I don't agree. We are kids (teens) but we know about and understand things most kids our age don't. We know grownup words and acts but it's not the same as being a grownup. Abuse is so confusing, it changes everything but if we can't talk about it here, if you guys can't make this a safe and friendly place to share for men AND boys, where can we talk about it? Who's gonna listen?
It is a safe place, and it dont matter about thinking you are in anyones face, because even the adults think that way, just be you.

You are a fighter, and we admire you, and all the other young ones who join, so dont be so hard on you, \:\)

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#121814 - 05/17/05 09:27 PM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148



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#121815 - 05/18/05 12:15 AM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
Angels in the Night

A sight for children and teenagers who have been abused that has moderated chat time also. Just is thought.

Andrei


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#121816 - 05/18/05 12:39 AM Re: Young Survivors Forum?
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Charlie, yeah, we all got temper stuff, but who will cry for the lil boy, I do, I always did,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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