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#115483 - 06/23/02 12:53 AM Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
I live in Bradenton FL. That is on the south side of Tampa bay. I would be willing to drive to Tampa, St Pete or Sarsota for a men's survivor group if you know of one.

If not, I would be willing to help start a peer group. Please contact me thru this site.

Ken

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

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#115484 - 06/23/02 01:54 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
Ken,
I live in Miami. I am not really aware of men's survivor groups around this area. However, there is an organization that has some events for survivors called Innermotion.org . They do have some all day workshops and various events which I find to be very helpful. They are based out of Fort Lauderdale but sometimes they do travel and put on performances. If you visit their website you can learn more about them.

Otherwise, I am not aware of other things, especially for males. I'm not sure where this thinking is going to take me, but I was thinking the other day,,, if I was an alcholic, there is a place to go. If I was a domestic violence victim, I would have a place to go. If I was a child in a need of a home, there would be a place to go. If I am a abuse survivor (be it male or female), I'm not sure where to go. Like I said, I'm not sure where I'm going with this thinking but it struck me pretty hard the other day.

For me, I do have a therpist which is helping me to deal through things in life. I use the online forums a lot.

Hope this helps a little.

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

Top
#115485 - 06/24/02 01:41 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
Anonymous
Unregistered


Ken, Mr. Don, and Matt:

I too am not able to find a survivor group where I live in Indiana. It is really disappointing. The best thing for us to do may be to start our own individual groups. You may find "A Circle of Men" by Bill Kauth to be a helpful book in this group formation process. Good luck!

rafael \:\)


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#115486 - 07/18/02 02:19 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Still looking and keeping this post active. Any leads would be appreciated.

Ken

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115487 - 08/10/02 11:55 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
mattandrew,
I live in Vero Beach, and am curious about finding a group, or even starting a group. But I feel somewhat new. I've attended Al-Anon groups for years, and I very much enjoy the setting, but I don't know of meetings right now. What have been your thoughts/findings lately?

I do have one lead, but I haven't followed it yet.
Dr. Ann Riebe, 615 Palmetto Avenue,
Melbourne, FL 321-956-0282.


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#115488 - 08/28/02 12:19 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Still looking for a group in my area. Would be willing to go to Tampa or St Pete. Any leads would be appreciated.

Ken

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115489 - 09/01/02 06:08 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
I got in touch with SIA (Survivors of Incest Anonymous), and there is a meeting in Winter Haven. I live in Vero Beach about 100 miles away, but I went to college near there and I know my way around. And considering it's only once a month, I'm willing to trek there. I contacted two people there, and if you want contact info let me know.


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#115490 - 09/01/02 06:13 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
Found another contact. There's an SIA group in Ocala for men only. Contact is Shaun at (352) 687-3457. Only question is whether it is still active or not. The last time it was verified was 4/97.


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#115491 - 09/04/02 12:11 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Thanks for the info but Ocala is quite a trek for me. I think I may try to start a group after some surgery I am having in October. Want to drive to Bradenton??

Ken

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115492 - 09/17/02 12:50 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
Ken,
Sent you a private message re: meetings


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#115493 - 09/18/02 11:49 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
bocacdc Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/16/01
Posts: 1
Loc: South Florida
I'm in Southeast Florida and haven't been able to find a support group for male survivors of sexual abuse as adults. Yes, there may be groups for those who were victimized as children. But those males who have been victimized as adults don't have the same resources as female victims.
Steve


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#115494 - 10/27/02 11:26 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
I hae found a group. It meets at Manatee Glens in Bradenton. I am checking into it further but thought I would post the info here.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115495 - 11/05/02 11:55 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
The group that meets at Manatee Glens is therapist lead and meets on Mondays at 3pm. You need to meet with a therapist prior to meeting with the group to be sure i would be appropriate for you to participate with the group. There is no charge for particiapation. I will be meeting with the group next Monday for my first time.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115496 - 11/12/02 01:55 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
I went to the group meeting yesterday at Manatee Glens in Bradenton FL. the other members tht were meeting have all moved on for various reasons. So right now the group is myself and the therapist. If anyone is interested in joining, they should contact David Hinckle at Manatee Glens 941-747-3131. He seems to be a good therapsit from our first meeting and I look forward to other men joining the group.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115497 - 09/13/03 12:45 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
I am meeting with two other survivors today to discuss starting a group. Over six months of a free ad in the newspaper. Three calls from survivors and finally we will be able to meet. The first group just wasn't what I wanted, the therapist was more interested in teaching meditation than dealing with our issues. Hopefully this will be the start of a good thing.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115498 - 09/22/03 12:23 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
The group is now officially started. We will meet every 2 weeks on Saturday mornings at 10:00. We are currently meeting at my home. The next meeting will be October 4, 2003. If anyone is within driving distance of Bradenton, I would be happy to give you directions. If you cannot be wth us physically, please keep us in your thoughts.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115499 - 10/22/03 12:37 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
This is the test of a brochure I have written for my men's group.


Mens Sexual Abuse Survivors Support Meeting


1 in 6 men have survived sexual abuse at some time in their life.

Have you ever felt like you are the only one this has ever happened to?
As boys growing up, we have been told many lies about life. One lie is that men/boys cannot be raped or otherwise sexually abused. That is not true. Boys and men have been and continue to be the un-acknowledged victims of many types of sexual abuse.
Boys have survived abuse at the hands of parents (both Mothers and Fathers), relatives, siblings, neighbors, clergy and strangers. Early sexual experiences do not make a boy lucky; they can cause lasting feelings of being used and make adult intimacy difficult. Men can be and have been raped by both men and women.
You are not alone.
You are not to blame.



COMMON LASTING EFFECTS OF SEXUAL ABUSE:
Addiction to drugs or alcohol
Anxiety
Depression
Dissociation
Fear
Gender Confusion
Helplessness
Homophobia
Hostility and anger
Impaired relationships
Isolation and Alienation
Low self-esteem
Masculinity Issues
Negative Childhood Peer Relations
Self Blame / Guilt
Sexual dysfunction
Sexual orientation confusion
Shame / Humiliation
Sleep disturbance
Suicidal ideas and behavior
Although this is an extensive list it is by no means exhaustive. Many men can recognize the symptoms before allowing themselves to remember the actual abuse. Lost memories of portions of their childhood are common to survivors.
WHAT WE DO
We meet every other Saturday morning to offer encouragement and support as fellow survivors of sexual abuse. We discuss dealing with the effects and discuss ways to heal and move forward in our lives.
We provide a place where it is safe for survivors to tell the story of the abuse if desired. It is helpful to be heard by others who know what you are saying is true, no matter how much society wants to deny it. It is not our desire to merely rehash our experiences, but by being heard we can leave the past behind us and work on a future.
Most survivors do not become perpetrators of abuse themselves. This group is for non-offending survivors. If you are a survivor and are abusing others we urge you to find appropriate help. This group would not be appropriate for you.


HOW DO I COME TO A MEETING?

It is our desire that each meeting be a place where we feel safe to share what we want and speak freely. We are currently meeting in survivors homes with men who have contacted us prior to coming to a meeting.
This is purely a peer support group and is not facilitated by a therapist. We do talk with men before they come to a meeting to let them know what to expect and then give them the location of the meeting. We ask that all members of the group respect the privacy of each member and not repeat what is discussed nor disclose who is attending.
You may call the member(s) listed on the back of the brochure to discuss if it would be appropriate for you to come to a meeting and to learn the location and date of the next meeting.
We meet every other Saturday at 10 a.m. till noon.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115500 - 10/22/03 07:02 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Ken,

What perseverence. And you made it happen!!

If I were to offer a suggestion, it would be to try and get a therapist who could really guide you and offer you some protection, as well.

I don' mean to throw a wet blanket on the great work that you've done to get your group started, I just think that when a professional is involved there are more benefts and less risk of something negative tainting your efforts.

What I'm suggesting is that you PM Ken Singer to see if he has any contacts in your area, or if he's willing to develop one or two contacts to help you find a qualified group therapist.

Until then, and if a therapist can not be found, good luck to you and the others as you seek a way through this somtimes quagmire, called therapy and support.

You have my profoundest admiration,

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#115501 - 10/22/03 11:09 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
Joey G. Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 28
Loc: FL
Hi Ken, and you others. I just joined this board today and I'd be very interested in some kind of group or meeting. I'm in the Tampa area.


Top
#115502 - 10/27/03 12:09 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
David,

Thanks or your suggestion, and a therapist would be great. But I have spent years searcing the resources in this area and they jut do not exist. So off I go into new territory. I do have contacts willing to support me from a distance, so I will rely on that. And of course I have the good thoughts from my brothers here on the site.

Ken

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115503 - 10/31/03 09:37 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
Ken,
Are you for real? You can't find good therapists in your area? I only say that for two reasons. First, you are in a very wealthy area, and it is my experience that where money is, so are the therapists who survive off them. Also, were you leaning towards a certain type of therapy? Was you search too focused whereas resources couldn't identify your need with certain competent therapists?

What about trauma recovery? I got in touch with my therapist after seeking EMDR therapists, and the one I am working with has had extensive work with multiple personalities, dissociated people, abuse victims, combat veterans, and others who have been "traumatized". It just amazes me that you couldn't find anyone.

I don't know if I've stepped over the line with my assumptions. I'm sorry if I did.

Alfred


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#115504 - 10/31/03 12:32 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
Ken,
Just realized something. One of the connections I had when searching out new therapists was when I called the RAINN hotline (The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). I just NEEDED to talk to someone one day, found this number online, and called. A lady only 40 miles away picked up. The hotline seems to transfer you call to local contacts. She made calls for me, and when she had called some that were willing/able/competent in the area of sexual abuse, she called me back. When I called them, I also asked about other references. Got more info then.

The number is 1.800.656.HOPE. Give it a try. You might be surprized.

Alfred


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#115505 - 10/31/03 07:01 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5778
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
RAINN has an impressive referral network. They route the call based on the area code of the caller to an agency that is on call for such calls. Certainly worth a try.

Even if the agency/therapist is not that experienced with male survivor issues, they are experienced in sexual abuse and that's usually a good place to start.

Remember to check out "The Consumer's Guide to Therapist Shopping" as you are the consumer.

Good luck,
Ken


Top
#115506 - 11/01/03 10:50 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Thanks for all the replies.

I have seen 3 therapists in my area, each was good and had something to offer to assist in my recovery. For 2 I was the first male survivor they had ever worked with, neither was a new therapist. For the other he had worked with children who were survivors, but I was the first adult. None of them knew of any other resources in this area.

This part of Florida is filled with many midwestern retirees, so it is like living in central Indiana in 1958. Denial is as thick as the August air. After looking for 2 years to find a group and trying to start one with one of the previously mentioned therapists, I decided to strike out on my own. After a year of adverstising, I have 4 men wanting to meet with me. Would it be good to have a therapist guide us? Yes. I am willing to wait for one to be found? No.

I am aware of the problems with the path I am on, but it looks to be the only one leading out of the woods. Who knows, perhaps a therapist will find us. If that happens I am sure we would welcome their input.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115507 - 01/03/04 07:13 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
We are still meeting and others are welcome to join us. Every other Sayurday. Next meeting is Jan 10.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

Top
#115508 - 01/10/04 07:25 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
I'm bummed because I wish there was something closer. I live on the other coast. I travel, but that's a hard trip.
Alfred


Top
#115509 - 01/30/04 11:30 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
cyrus Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/28/04
Posts: 3
Loc: Miami Beach
I live in Miami and if anyone "discovers" a group in either Dade or Broward, I'd love to hear about it. Maybe there are enough of us in SE Florida to start one?

Cyrus


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#115510 - 01/31/04 01:31 AM Re: Looking for Florida group
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
Cyrus,
I also live in Miami but am not aware of any groups. Have you heard of Innermotion? They are a group of survivors that put on performances from time to time as well as some all day survivor workshops. It is for men and women most of the time, but a very good group. Innermotion.org is their website. I'm not sure when their next event is but the last one, I did volunteer chair massage there.

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

Top
#115511 - 02/01/04 01:18 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
cyrus Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/28/04
Posts: 3
Loc: Miami Beach
Hi Don,

I have actually heard of the Innermotion group before...I saw an article in the Miami Herald about one of their performances. I checked out the website and they have a workshop coming up on February 21 at the Unitarian Church in Ft. Lauderdale. I'm not sure that it's exactly what I am looking for...but who knows...maybe it is. \:\) I've copied their announcement here:

Public Service Announcement
*INNERMOTION MOVES ME*

Experiential Movement Workshops with Sharon Daugherty, M.S.
Founder & Director of Innermotion, The Survivor Dance Theatre Company & National Speaker

Saturday Unitarian Universalist Church
3970 NW 21 Avenue, Oakland Park, FL 33309
(Between Commercial & Oakland Park Blvds on
NW 21 Avenue, approx. 1 mile west of I-95)

10:00 am No Cost
to 4:00 pm For adult female & male survivors of incest and /or sexual assault. No art or dance experience is required.

This workshop will use art, music & movement to access & express healing. Designed for all body types, ages and abilities.

Bring a lunch & dress comfortably

***Reserve Your Space Today***
Call: 954-537-0636 (voice mailbox)
or send an e-mail to WorkShop Scheduling

I hope this is useful, or at least interesting.

Cyrus


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#115512 - 02/01/04 02:42 PM Re: Looking for Florida group
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
Cyrus,
I've been to one of the workshops and it happen to be facilitated by my therapist which was good. Jeff went with me and so it was a very growing day for me when it was done. I really need to get to another one.

It did have men and women there which for me was great. The activities brought many things up in me which my therapist and I talked about in an appointment after that time.

I know most of the people in Innermotion from just being around them and they are a great group of survivors.

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

Top
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