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#10961 - 01/14/04 10:02 PM Why do I?
buddah Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/24/03
Posts: 30
Loc: Seattle
So I wouldnt classify myself as gay. Yeah I have had gay sex but I am what I would call bi if not straight. My question is this. Why do I want to/like/enjoy looking at pictures of atheletic men nude or nearly nude. Recently I have wondered what they look like showering and sleeping. I think I want to do this since I am overweight greatly. Right now I weigh 300 and I am working out everyday and watching what I eat so I can hopefully reach my goal of losing 25# in 12 weeks. Anyway, does anyone else feel this way? I think its because I just want to be "normal" and how better then to see if I am then by doing that? I dont get a sexual feeling or aroused from this. Any input would be great.


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#10962 - 01/18/04 01:05 PM Re: Why do I?
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
Dear buddah,

It could be that you are seeking to form some type of positive body image for yourself as a goal towards which you can work? You know, as a sort of 'model' towards which you can strive.

I see guys and think wow, I'd like to have a stomach like that or a chest like his.

Since there is no sexual arousal involved this seems like as good an explanation as any.

And if you were gay, would that be such a horrible thing?

I'm gay and in the end I have found that it is not nearly the problem I always thought it was.
The sexual abuse and problems with ANY TYPE of sexuality are the real issues with me. Being gay is a cake walk compared to that.

Anyway good luck with the weight loss regimen, let us know how you do. Some slimming down would be good for me too.

Take care,

_________________________
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

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#10963 - 01/18/04 01:13 PM Re: Why do I?
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
One more thing, have you read the article that Ken Singer has written on stopping self-defeating behaviors? I found it very helpful with some of the actions that were causing me a lot of trouble.

Also, in the Timothy Sanders book, Male Survivors: 12-Step Program for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse, there is a section on how sexual abuse can influence our physical life area, including eating disorders and chronic obesity, as well as many other 'body' manifestations of the trauma reaction.

Hope this helps.

Thanks

_________________________
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

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#10964 - 01/18/04 01:22 PM Re: Why do I?
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
That section in the Sanders book is on pages 69-70. The book is probably not for everyone, but I am finding it very helpful.

OK, now I'm done. \:\)

_________________________
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

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