Newest Members
journey4two, VASurvivor, jayceemac, rwolf, FindingNemo
12328 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cja (49), crackerjack (55), nursemanda25 (33)
Who's Online
2 registered (WriterKeith, 1 invisible), 15 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12328 Members
74 Forums
63403 Topics
443286 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4 >
Topic Options
#10054 - 01/04/07 08:24 PM Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
Simple question but I think some people have gone on to abuse after being abused themselves.

I feel they don't have a place here but it's a proven fact that some members, who will remain nameless, have gone on to abuse and continue to post.

As soon as a survivor abuses they become nothing but another abuser. It may seem harsh but I'd be interested to see what others think.

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

Top
#10055 - 01/04/07 08:41 PM Re: Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
Kirk Wayne Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/05
Posts: 499
Loc: Shrewsbury UK
Mark

I totally agree anyone who sexually abuses and is attracted to minors should not be on this board. No I dont think you are being harsh at all and now I know something about perps (other than my own experiences) as I have been dealing with them on my blog for the last week now. I suspect that whoever it maybe may get some sort of perverse pleasure out of being a member here, now that is sick and the person concerned should seek help but not here.

I would not give a perp an inch as they would take a couple of miles

Kirk.
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"


Top
#10056 - 01/04/07 08:48 PM Re: Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
i dont know where to draw the line. if we eliminated everyone that went on to act out in some way after being abused, how many would we have left here?

i for one played on other's lack of knowledge to get them to explore sex with me when i was a kid. technically i used greater knowledge to take advantage of them, and that fits the definition of abuse, even if i was only a kid and really didnt fully understand.

then you get into a time factor. there is a huge difference between someone that is currently abusing, and someone that did something twenty years ago that they are ashamed of and come here to somehow make peace with it.

i wish i had a firm view on this, but i dont. i think it depends. no, i dont want someone who is out there today abusing a kid to come here and brag, but this is a place for survivors to come and share. we've all did things we are not proud of, and in many cases those things are in our distant past. that is far different from someone that is currently abusing in my mind.

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

Top
#10057 - 01/04/07 09:21 PM Re: Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I think we need to be careful here, and if you have evidence, then it is best to contact the board.

I for one would not come here if I was abusing kids, I would never put them through so much shit as I went through, and see them with no life to carry on.

I might have well been murdered as a kid than go through that, and we all know what I am talking about here.

I am over protective of kids, and I hate even having to think I should need to be, but it is an instinct I grew to embrace,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#10058 - 01/04/07 09:28 PM Re: Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
Being abused is going to effect your own developemnt and view of sexual relationships as a child. Maybe I should have made it clearer.

I'm talking of survivors who abuse children when they are adults.

The mods are aware.

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

Top
#10059 - 01/04/07 09:47 PM Re: Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Survivors who abuse kids are perps first, and it is up to the mods to decide whether someone who is abusing has a right to be here.

I would have thought Not! Would be the answer,

ste

Edited to say that Hauser would not be considered as an abuser by me and most.
Things you did as a kid are not the same as being perped by an adult.

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#10060 - 01/04/07 09:49 PM Re: Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11053
Loc: Denver, CO
mark,

"As soon as a survivor abuses they become nothing but another abuser."

So by this definition they are no longer survivors?

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#10061 - 01/04/07 09:55 PM Re: Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
onefastbike Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 84
Loc: Toronto
You stop being a victim the SECOND you CHOOSE to become a Perp.

If you are posting here you KNOW you are doing wrong and need help and to be stopped.

Either get help, turn yourself in, or jump off a bridge. Just stop hurting children. You KNOW what harm you are doing.

(childhood acts aside)

_________________________
Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and you suck forever.

Top
#10062 - 01/04/07 09:58 PM Re: Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
I think I would tend to trust the board on their discretion. There are always so many factors in this sort of stuff that if we make a hard and fast rule, someone who needs help and can be helped will not get the help they need.
At the same time I don't think anyone wants an active abuser around. When those pedophiles were on here a few weeks ago, I was a mess. I was scared to death to come here. If you have hard facts and can prove it, take it to the mods and the board. If they have chosen to act differently, there must be something going on we don't know about. They are great guys who work really hard to protect us all.
Paul


Top
#10063 - 01/04/07 10:00 PM Re: Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
onefastbike Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 84
Loc: Toronto
Quote:
Originally posted by Paul1959:
When those pedophiles were on here a few weeks ago, Paul
what did I miss???

_________________________
Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and you suck forever.

Top
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.