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#369308 - 09/02/11 07:16 PM My Introduction
F.A. Offline


Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 229
Loc: United States
I was molested and forced starting at age 5 or 6 by my cousin who was about 11 or 12 at the time and this continued until I was 16 years of age, during that time other cousins also molested me and strangers in their 20's and 30's.

This started to unravel when my first abuser killed himself and I started to have flashbacks and got to a breaking point both spiritual and physical. I sought help for my body and spirit because I felt I would die from these revelations.

I have spent my life confused about who I am and ashamed of sex. After ending a long relationship, I came out to my parents who support me and to my friends who also support me.

I started therapy in July of 2011 and working through issues of identity and self esteem. I am starting to live for the first time in my life and look forward to having a healthy life.

It is really hard to deal with and to more forward but I need to for my own sake.

_________________________
F.A.

To be sick is to be fragmented. To be healed is to become whole, and to become whole one must be in harmony with family, friends, and nature" -Navajo-
Blog: http://csafresno.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/CSAFresno
My Story: http://tinyurl.com/78upvvu

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#369341 - 09/03/11 01:08 PM Re: My Introduction [Re: F.A.]
Driftwood Offline


Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 86
Loc: Colorado
Welcome F.A.

I'm sure I'm not telling you anything new that you deserved to be nurtured as a boy and protected from abuse. I'm sorry you didn't get that. It's brave of you to take steps now toward healing. Bravo for coming out to your parents and finding a therapist and for posting on this site. There's a lot of good men here who've dealt with confusion and shame over sexuality issues. Again, nothing new, but you deserve to like yourself and have a healthy sex life.

I look forward to hearing more of your story whenever you feel comfortable sharing details.


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#369344 - 09/03/11 01:27 PM Re: My Introduction [Re: Driftwood]
F.A. Offline


Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 229
Loc: United States
Thank you Driftwood you are my first comment and contact. I do deserve to love myself and be a healthy happy person and that is why I need to connect with those who are doing the same thing.

_________________________
F.A.

To be sick is to be fragmented. To be healed is to become whole, and to become whole one must be in harmony with family, friends, and nature" -Navajo-
Blog: http://csafresno.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/CSAFresno
My Story: http://tinyurl.com/78upvvu

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#369346 - 09/03/11 01:33 PM Re: My Introduction [Re: F.A.]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Welcome F.A.

Loving oneself is often the hardest hurdle to jump. I'm sorry you need to be here, yet proud off you for taking these first steps...

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#369350 - 09/03/11 02:14 PM Re: My Introduction [Re: Darkheart]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
Welcome F.A.!

Seems like you have started your journey toward healing already. smile Congratulations! You have come to the right place to continue your journey, and this time not alone...

Keep healing.

Sincerely,

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#369359 - 09/03/11 04:42 PM Re: My Introduction [Re: F.A.]
pbert53 Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/09
Posts: 576
Loc: Washington, USA
F.A. Welcome to MS.org,

I am glad you found us. You are on a good path and i wish you all the success in overcoming your past. It is a hard and painful process, but well worth it.

You are not alone and we and I are here to help in any way we can. Take your time and ease into this place. I have found it to be a safe haven and a great place for support.

take care

peace

paul smile

_________________________
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

~ adapted from: Sri Ram

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#369360 - 09/03/11 04:59 PM Re: My Introduction [Re: pbert53]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2506
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brother.

Welcome to MS. Here you will receive compassion, understanding & love, from your brothers (fraternal) & friends (in pain).

We will hear your cries,. We will help in your fears & share in your tears.

Be prepared for the emotional roller coaster ride of your life. You are already on it.

I'm 72 and only have been dealing with it for a shade over three years. It gets tough, but rewards of finding out just who & what we are, and why we lived the screwed up lives that we have are at least for me worth it. As I really didn't know me until now.

Heal well, my fraternal brother, F. A., heal well. You are on your way.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#369390 - 09/04/11 03:16 AM Re: My Introduction [Re: F.A.]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
FA
Welcome and I know from my own experience here on MS that with honesty and true desire to rid yourself of this demon, you will heal.
We are all here for you.

Heal well
Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#369403 - 09/04/11 09:10 AM Re: My Introduction [Re: whome]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
Welcome man!

There is healing here-get familiar with everything on this sites-including resources for survivors and these forums.

Many men share your experience and story-and are learning to lfsce life successfully day by day wig support and sharing here on MS. I've had lots to recover from the past 37 years-lots of backtacking, being lost, failure and some success with my addictions- and the past two years have been the most intense since Ive been dealing with the abuse.

I have hope for your healing and life.

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#369414 - 09/04/11 12:28 PM Re: My Introduction [Re: Mountainous Buck]
F.A. Offline


Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 229
Loc: United States
Thank you everyone for the warm welcome and encouragement I feel that I can use this and my therapy to heal in a profound way and regain what was taken from me, trust, love and acceptance.

_________________________
F.A.

To be sick is to be fragmented. To be healed is to become whole, and to become whole one must be in harmony with family, friends, and nature" -Navajo-
Blog: http://csafresno.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/CSAFresno
My Story: http://tinyurl.com/78upvvu

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