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#358639 - 04/04/11 11:58 PM daniel's DID system
Daniel_forgotten Offline


Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
i dont know.. i'll link this to my signature...if i dont delete it first.. it's fair anyone that talks to me knows this about me i think.

it's akward to talk in first person sometimes. honestly, we know that all of us can't be sumarized into just 1 person, eventhough we know this is how it works for most humans (being honest again, sometimes i don't feel we are humans). anyway, at our best moments we understand each one of us is just one part of a whole being like everybody else, just deeply splitted.

being splitted means like, you are one at school/work, right? you are "another" on saturday night with your friends, right? just pretend those two have a mind of their own, their own names, tastes and even their own mental patterns and vital signs.

this is our system:(at least the ones that want to be named)

lobby:

J, the front, 20 years old. (he doesn't want his name out there, as it is our legal name). the "real one" for now

Daniel and Charles, 20 years old: Dan owns this acccount he was the front from 2005 to 2010. charles is his twin, a more rational and hypocrite part who knows and hears almost everything dan does and thinks. sometimes he's like, 'don't be rude, don't say that' he knows better how the outside world works

Devanoriel: deceased.
Silon, 14 years old
Z, timeless.
Paul and Jean, 25 eish..
J, 19 yo
mep, 13 yo

Zac, 20 eish
K, 40 eish
Alas, older teen. dangerous.
P, 30 eish. dangerous.

kids:
Hin, 5 years old
Nat, 9 years old
Beau, 6 years old
Beau P. 8 years old
Beau H. 10 years old
Bernard, 10 yo
Nikki, 3 years old
daniel, toddler
danny, baby
J #1, #2 and #3, younger versions of J the front. they are all toddlers or non-speaking babies.

2nd and 3rd floor

this is for the ones that are hiddin most of the time. we dont know them well. they hold stuff from the rituals we were in.. meanings and that.. never show up in the outside world, except for phillipe

phillipe, older teen or 20eish. he's agry, violent very dangerous

Per
M
G.H Fennet
Jaques

those speak french

Jacob
Joseph
J.M.
Terdem

those speak something i dont understand

The basement

there are many here but we don't know how many, their names, nothing.

this is long and boring enough i'm sorry. i hope i dontdelete it later will submit before i do














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#358643 - 04/05/11 12:36 AM Re: daniel's DID system [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
Charlie24 Offline


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 562
Hey Daniel;

I just want to say bud that it takes courage to be brave and honest to discuss all this stuff.

I know in the past we have discussed your DID in chat. I think with your help I have grown to better understand this disorder you suffer from. I can't even imagine what that is like for you on a daily basis bud.

I want to give you a safe hug if you will accept.

((((((((((Daniel)))))))))))))


((((((((((Charles))))))))))))

I hope this is helpful for you bud to share with your friends and brothers here at M/S.

Hang in there Daniel.

Charlie.


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#358645 - 04/05/11 01:00 AM Re: daniel's DID system [Re: Charlie24]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11082
Loc: Denver, CO
Daniel,

This sounds like it was difficult to share. Thank you for showing us this part (parts?) of you here.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#358646 - 04/05/11 01:29 AM Re: daniel's DID system [Re: FormerTexan]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Daniel/Charles,

Thank you for sharing that information about yourselves.

There are lots of guys in MS who have DID. In most cases they have DIDNOS. The NOS means "Not Otherwise Specified". It's not really a good name for it. But it means that they don't "lose time". Losing time means that the person shifts into a different personality who goes and does something different and then the person awakens the next morning to find that the other guy has purchased some toys or something.

This is apparently what I used to have, but I'm not sure about that because I didn't receive any therapy for it until much later. When I was in college I kept a journal for a short time. The journal had a different type of handwriting every day. Some days I even used different colors of ink. Some of the handwriting was printed as though done by someone very young. I had amnesia between classes and I would go into a fog lots of times. This made it difficult to remember what I had learned from one day to the next.

When my amnesia toward horrific abuse lapsed when I was about 45 years old, I received treatment from a therapist for DID. I worked out a scheme or map of the different alters (alter means alternate personality). I have found that map and I have it now if anybody is interested. It was not as complex as Daniel/Charles' scheme. Most of my alters were children with various memories of different episodes of child abuse. Once that mechanism of producing alters started out then I did it again later at different ages. For that reason the alters were a lot of different ages. The alters tend to remain the same age, that is they don't grow out of it, so that it's like having a flock of inner chilren. That's because each was produced at a separate time of abuse.

My earliest abuse started at almost 4 years old, and was done by a famous cartoonist. I have described it in pufferfish story part 1. I think that I inspired the original Tweety-Bird character. I think that the cartoon: A Tale of Two Kitties was about me and two other boys.Abuse there involved taking moving pictures of me and other boys involved in sexual activities. Of course these activities were instigated by the perpetrator. It went on for about 6 months. I was given a tour of the studio where the cartoons were made. I recognized the room when I was watching some cartoons that showed the production room.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFC9vnZY93k

Later in life, the therapist's treatment helped me a lot and I emerged mainly having 2 alternate personalities. One was the adult me and the other one was a 12-year-old boy named Buzzy. Buzzy bore the memories and the terrible traumas of the abuse at age 12. It was abuse that split off the different alters. Buzzy felt like he was the main "me" and he wanted to be me. This struggle continued until I had a course of EMDR treatments. The abuse at age 12 is written up as pufferfish story part 5. It is probably very triggering.

Allen







Edited by pufferfish (04/07/11 09:11 AM)

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