Last night I dreamt that when I came home my wife was very disturbed, angry and sad. Some of the men who had abused her sexually as a teenager had come to the house and abused her again. I became disturbed and angry. I started looking out the windows to see if they were coming back. Then I woke up. I believe that the dream was a reenactment of my sexual abuse. I have been using abusive sexual fantasies during sex for almost all of my life and had stopped using them for the last 3 months as a step towards recovery from my own abuse back when I was 8 to 10 years old. I guess that my mind has a mind of its own. Old habits are hard to break but I am very glad to say that I did not find the dream triggering. That is progress. But I just as soon not have any more of such dreams. Thanx for all your posts. Oldguy

Hi, oldguy. Dreams like this are bad, and can be so triggering when we come out of them because they can seem so real. I'm glad it wasn't triggering for you. That is progress, indeed.

I think it's good that you've moved away from using abusive sexual fantasies during sex. From what I've read, using those types of fantasies during sex can reinforce the ideas in our brain and make them that much more desirable so that it's kind of an endless loop and cycle that's hard to break. Kicking it out of your head's a good thing. I've had to kick some crap out of my head at times, too, and it is hard to do sometimes.

Thanks, Eddie, you speak the truth. Oldguy

I had a really bad dream a week ago.

I woke up early in the morning with that terrible dream.
It was the terror and horror of Jeepers Creepers (a horror movie about eyes)
My dream had to do with looking – i.e. seeing with both eyes
Someone along side was urging me to look at a mask – a horrible figure.
I kept trying, but could only look with one eye.
Then finally I did it. I looked at it with both eyes. Simultaneously.
I was shocked with a huge sense of horror and awoke screaming out loud.

I believe the dream has to do with my vision problem. I have had the vision problem since being abused at age 4. But then it became much worse at age 12. At age 11 I could see 3-D movies but with a huge headache afterwords. After abuse at age 12 I completely lost that ability and my 3-D vision (stereopsis) became progressively worse. I have been doing eye exercises to regain my use of 3-D vision. I think the dream reflects the terror I experienced at the time of the abuse, and that regaining stereopsis opened up that emotional system. I believe it has brought me back to that terror.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereopsis

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hysteria

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_disorder

This 3rd link also mentions loss of voice (aphonia) which I also experienced.

Allen

pufferfish