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Forum   Subject
Jump to new posts Re: Hi guys - I'm the dirty little hero by Chase Eric @ 43 minutes 25 seconds ago

Strive - I understand your concern, and appreciate the support you express and that I can clearly read between the lines. I don't know if I can explain this to your satisfaction, but I'll try, if you can indulge me a little.... When I was small,
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: What is the feeling of trust? by Magellan @ Today at 06:43 PM

I honestly can't make sense of anything anymore. My brain is frantically trying to grasp for sense and meaning behind the sheer confusion I'm completely inundated by, and the only thing it can arrive at that has any sense to it is that the universe
Jump to new posts Car park by Strive 38/11 @ Today at 06:34 PM

Maybe trigger I was ten years old when I was gang raped by three guys in a VW combi van, in a secluded War Memorial car park near where I lived.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I have to ask something by Magellan @ Today at 05:53 PM

I've emptied my mail box. Though I don't think anything left can be said. I see how how retarded I am. I can't make sense of really basic things. I'm so disturbed by the experiences and profound confusion that I'm having, that my brain is trying
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: The ONLY touch I receive by Magellan @ Today at 05:49 PM

Thanks for your support guys. I've been defeated by this. I give up. It's obvious to me now that I'm fucked up in the head and the heart. I can't make sense of anything anymore. The most I can muster at the moment is that the Whole of the Entir
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: History by Magellan @ Today at 05:47 PM

I've been totally and completely demoralized by this whole fuck hole of an existence. Thanks for your support, guys. I'm done. I'm clearly not comprehending really basic and simple things that most everyone else takes for granted. I'm far too gon
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Why? by Magellan @ Today at 05:43 PM

Congratulations, God. You win. I give up. You tricked me into believing that if I did all the right things and put enough energy towards recovery, that I would find some success. Well, it's been 33 years now, and I've tried all during that time to
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation In Media
Jump to new posts Re: Triggers and How to Handle Them by bluesky @ Today at 05:31 PM

Hey Jeff Sorry that you are feeling that way. You can PM any time or email or call. Hope you are using the self compassion that we learnd over the weekend. Take care and keep in touch.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Magellan @ Today at 05:25 PM

Obi, I wish I knew how to respond to this without coming off like an asshole. I'll just leave it with this - thank you for your reply. Meanwhile, I'm decategorizing myself as a survivor. I'm no longer a survivor. I'm drowning in a sea of confusi
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts fear of women,bullying by Sterling @ Today at 05:04 PM

I know i could search in this forum , but am lazy. I accepted , or allowing myself to more and more that i am gay. But am wondering , why is it that when i see a beautiful woman i feel forced to look at a woman's boobs. This is weird.. i just dont
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: free association & freedom of expression by Sterling @ Today at 04:49 PM

be straight. be gay be straight be gay. be straight. ..accept being gay. came out to woman. the only that scares me or worries me is going to the food bank next week. A couple of women have a crush on me. It will go away , immediatley, one pic
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Secrecy, Threats, and Transparency by payne @ Today at 04:40 PM

I didn't fail to remember the secret of his abuse, that my step-brother made me swear not to tell. However, it was not until 6 years ago at age 52 that I began to remember the abuse from my mother. I think her sudden physical as well as mental decl
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: A Good Book by payne @ Today at 04:31 PM

I have not read the book, but I have heard of the title. Disposable sex is definitely how my mother treated each of her husbands and me as her only child. My dad is very old and still hurting over the divorce from back in 1961. He still remembers
Jump to new posts Re: rave review by victor-victim @ Today at 04:06 PM

thank you so much, OCN, for the uplift. i am gonna need all the help i can get. THIS JUST HAPPENED! PANIC ATTACK! yesterday, the guy who has stood by me and defended my reputation and fought for my rights and spoke out against the injustice a
Jump to new posts Re: MONSTERS ~ Nikita Gill by OCN @ Today at 01:27 PM

Sometimes its easier to look away, than to recognize what was always there. Seeing that the monsters we're fighting are really inside of us.. it can create open space in which we can start to first communicate with them, then integrate them and fina
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: ***TRIGGER*** Castration fear by learning2remember @ Today at 01:05 PM

I don't think I was ever threatened with castration. I'm sure I wasn't. I have wondered about chemical castration as an elective procedure, though never considered it a real option since I am married. I used to harm my own genitals daily or several t
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: the cycle by DesertFrog @ Today at 12:11 PM

now bring on the depression and regrets of my actions while drunk arghhh lather rinse repeat like a dog to vomit
Off Topic
Great video!!!!! Simply, but very eloquently said.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: True Sayings by KMCINVA @ Today at 11:17 AM

Manipulated Well said. It is amazing how these memories remain dormant and then something triggers the memories. Then the nightmares and flashbacks are off to the races. In the past I could fight and wrestle the memories back into a dormant state.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Am I a target by bluesky @ Today at 07:45 AM

Thanks guys for you comments. I'm doing better today. Spoke to my T over the phone yesterday and he advised me to right a response to this person of what I would say if I could. I will read this at my appointment today. I was able to do this without
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Inspirational Quotes by victor-victim @ Today at 07:02 AM

“Referees always have to say, in the ring: ‘Protect yourself at all times’ . It's a lie because you can't. You came to fight. If you were really interested in protecting yourself, you'd get out of the ring and go home.” Jodi Compton
Jump to new posts Shine on you crazy diamond. by Strive 38/11 @ Today at 06:56 AM

Yep being a gay teen the eighties at an all boys grammar is part of the cause of my dysfunction. Before, I think the sexual touching commenced when I started in preschool aged three. Then in 3rd grade my teacher groomed me by keeping back at lunch to
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Devastated to Learn Dad Told of His Abuse by sorryson @ Today at 06:11 AM

Kevin Thank you for your words. Your are right, Dad's wife is a fabulous woman. She only really knows my sister and she still stands up for us, who ill treated Dad. I guess she really loved Dad and wants to make sure his message of love to us is he
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: The age we become 'stuck'? by victor-victim @ Today at 02:45 AM

you are welcome, Magellan. call it lucky research. i love exploring the vast archives of emotion stowed and stored on this website. this is a priceless resource. many hours have i invested investigating the wealth of information contained within
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Cut off my medications and not sure what to expect by Strive 38/11 @ Today at 01:22 AM

Relieved you are with still us. You are taking a medication that takes time for you body to build up a level that works and is sustainable. The bodies ability to sustain a medication level is impacted by things life alcohol and other non prescribed d
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