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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Fear is My Enemy by KMCINVA @ 02/03/16 01:41 PM

I have great fears from my last ordeal of despair and hopelessness. I am working hard to put life in order but I still have moments that the thoughts of death return. These thoughts are not overwhelming or all consuming, but they are there. I thi
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Letter to ourselves (Trigger warning please) by Brian Cardoza @ 02/03/16 01:33 PM

William Your reply was FAR from stupid good sir far from it
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Letter to ourselves (Trigger warning please) by Brian Cardoza @ 02/03/16 01:32 PM

William, It would seem after reading your reply that you have started to write now. Remember this is your letter to yourself not to us. And if you still feel anger than express it on paper so one you don't lose physical control of your pain and two
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Told a friend, mistake I think by KMCINVA @ 02/03/16 12:10 PM

I think about this frequently, especially the pain that goes with the CSA and when people deny your abuse or give a sense of not caring. Rich is right life is not painless and deciding to talk about the abuse is the most difficult thing in the world
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Told a friend, mistake I think by Rich1967 @ 02/03/16 11:38 AM

I don't think life was meant to be painless. I don't think you can grow/heal painlessly either. As long as you don't intentionally try to hurt people making them uncomfortable is probably not a bad thing. I do think wholeheartedly that talking a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Finally, I am asking for help with this.... by abused9 @ 02/03/16 11:25 AM

Logan I feel your pain for sure. I don't know how to help you. I'm new at this, and have only been dealing with my CSA situation for a month and a half. I wish you hope through your struggle to heal. Like you and many of us here I'm struggling also.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Guess I should say a bit more by abused9 @ 02/03/16 11:10 AM

Thank all of you for your support. I have talked to some of you in chat. I'm fortunate to have been directed to this wonderful place, and to meet everyone I have met here and everyone I will meet here throughout my journey.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: appreciate this community by 30something @ 02/03/16 11:09 AM

Thank you for the welcome, @abused9. I do feel safe here (as safe as I am learning to feel again). I've read some of your story and I am so sorry for the violations committed against you by church authorities. I was raised Catholic as well, and there
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: appreciate this community by abused9 @ 02/03/16 11:00 AM

Welcome to this community. I started here in December, and I started Therapy and joined a CSA group, "the only one in my state", then also. One of my group members, told me about this site. Therapy, my group, and this site, are my safe plac
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Regarding Intimacy TRIGGER WARNING by Rich1967 @ 02/03/16 10:52 AM

Powerful as usual. For me it brought up my struggle with identity issues. I have always wanted and needed male affection and intimacy BUT having that all tied to my sexual abuse made it seem like it would never be possible UNLESS I identified as ga
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Told a friend, mistake I think by abused9 @ 02/03/16 10:35 AM

Kyle I too don't want to force people to go where there uncomfortable. I think I could understand that if the people I were talking to were casual friends, however the person my post referred to was a friend of 30 plus years. We do live many states a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling triggered by Obi @ 02/03/16 10:33 AM

Thanks Lee. It may have hit me harder than normal because I know I have been under a lot of stress lately. Such a sad story.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Told a friend, mistake I think by abused9 @ 02/03/16 10:28 AM

Thanks, and I like you will be more guarded. If by chance when I'm out and friends or others perhaps see me down, and ask, I "might" just say I have PTSD and leave it at that. If they ask why I have it, I just won't answer that question. As
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Anyone ever feel the same or been where I'm at? by dark empathy @ 02/03/16 10:21 AM

Wow, I remember the numbness. The first memory of my flat, this my first actual home (not counting my room at university), was waking in the morning, attempting to distract myself with a cold war era techno sf novel, trying to tell myself that this
Male Survivors
Brian, Thank you for your encouragement. I really do appreciate it. You know, there are so many days that I have now and didn't have after I had to start trying to deal with all of this in which I feel "okay." I've made a lot of good strid
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: H has now started Twink Porn- Worried by traveler @ 02/03/16 09:37 AM

This is not a justification or excuse for child porn - but an observation from my own experience. First - I think there is a lot of truth in what SmartShadow has written above. I want to add my own experience to give support and maybe an individual
Spirituality and Survivors
Jump to new posts an exercise to end suffering? by victor-victim @ 02/03/16 01:00 AM

http://www.supersoul.tv/supersoul-sunday/the-exercise-that-could-end-your-suffering - regardless of our spiritual beliefs, we are all seeking enlightenment and an end to our suffering. - we shouldn’t try to escape difficult times. Rather, sufferin
Male Survivors
Hears to thriving...a much better way to live one's life for sure!
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: H has now started Twink Porn- Worried by SmartShadow @ 02/02/16 05:41 PM

It sounds like you can't talk to him about this. Let me offer my perspective in hopes that it may help and add to your understanding. I think for men, porn can be viewed and or used for many reasons. If you look at it as only a way for men to get o
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling triggered by traveler @ 02/02/16 05:40 PM

Obi - I read the story you referred to and was glad to have had your trigger warning. because of that, i was prepared for the ugly details and not as badly affected. I am sorry you were so impacted by it. I certainly understand. it bore an unpleasan
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: Ode to my avatar by OCN @ 02/02/16 04:37 PM

Quote:Love and cherish him ... he deserves it ... and you deserve to have him back! Nice Sharky! Thnx for sharing
Discussion Board Questions
Jump to new posts Re: for some reason the time is not correct by Sven @ 02/02/16 04:30 PM

Glad it's been resolved.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Am I the only one who does this by traveler @ 02/02/16 03:38 PM

Originally Posted By: SmartShadow My abuse and trauma is not something that happened to me. It something that is happening to me. I am not a survivor of abuse, rather I am in an ongoing state of surviving. This takes so much energy and time away from
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: Ripples by Shyshark @ 02/02/16 03:19 PM

I love the last line Free. Well done.
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: the play's the thing by Shyshark @ 02/02/16 03:16 PM

It is never too late to go back for him MarkK ... and he is a very forgiving little boy ... and a very patient one. He is strong ... are you strong enough? He loves you. He waits.
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