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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts living from a place of power by justplainme @ 04/20/15 10:18 PM

It's been the first month in my entire life that i have moved through without a serious meltdown regarding shame, anxiety, sexual identity issues, hate, despotism, narcissism, co dependency and the many ills that we experience well you guy's know. I
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Incest question ? Sibling abuse ? by Tryingtolive @ 04/20/15 09:48 PM

Originally Posted By: Serious Dave The thing I wonder about, though, is why no one seemed to think much of the fact that, all of a sudden, I became a veritable hermit, cutting myself off from most friends my age, disinterested in girls or relationsh
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Lacking motivation by txb @ 04/20/15 08:12 PM

Iím really struggling with my academic work. Not because itís too hard. Just because I canít be bothered. Iím so behind now I donít even know where to start. Iím not lacking motivation because Iím depressed or anything. Iím pretty much the opposite.
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: One Judge's Op *****TRIGGER WARNING***** by Bluedogone @ 04/20/15 07:29 PM

Thanks Eirik for your perspective. Some very salient points to consider. Any CSA trial is so emotionally charged in the best of circumstances, and it's just tragic when CSA cases get tangled in a politically charged environment. I've told my shar
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Good writers and bad conclusions, why? by Magellan @ 04/20/15 06:48 PM

I wasn't able to read through the whole thing (at work) but wanted to acknowledge your post, Luke. All I can say is we are a paradoxical species. Capable of incredible brilliance, and still stuck in this process called evolution. Just a few milleni
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Incest question ? Sibling abuse ? by Bardo @ 04/20/15 06:27 PM

I hear you Dave et al. Been dealing with that a lot lately. Who was looking out for me? Why did they let this happen to me? I don't really wonder who got to my brother first, although I know someone did. I don't really go past his responsibility for
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: New to MS&to a relationship with a survivor (Help) by Mishka95673 @ 04/20/15 06:25 PM

Oriana, My love has left me several times too. Note what I said... Focus on yourself while he is gone. It takes time for someone to gain the skills he wasn't permitted to gain as a child
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Stockholm syndrome? by Greg56 @ 04/20/15 05:55 PM

I have erased all that I've written...just suffice it to say that I can relate to your story...probably more than you can realize. I imploded a few years back. With all of what your talking about hitting me all at once. Now, I'm learning to live
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: A Promise? by Magellan @ 04/20/15 05:36 PM

Thanks for your feedback dude. I have asked, and my therapist has said I do not have schizophrenia or MPD. Though I do exhibit symptoms of both. I definitely have Complex PTSD, and I do have dissociation tendencies. But I don't have episodes of mi
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hello All by Dolphinboy @ 04/20/15 05:30 PM

Hi Dave, I am back on MS for about a week now and recently read your post. I just wanted to say hello from my side, seeing that we are about the same age (I am 51) and share some similarities in our csa backgrounds. I am the youngest of three brother
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Input requested - survivor curious sex with men by Mishka95673 @ 04/20/15 05:12 PM

Thanks Dave. I greatly appreciate your thoughts on the matter and please always be adament. In this case, I really needed other opinions to know for sure where to draw the line. A threesome is a definite no, regardless of who it is with (man or woma
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: In his best interest to know? by Mishka95673 @ 04/20/15 04:46 PM

Good advice Dave. And just so you know, I think you are a wonderful person. I am sure many, many people think so.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: A Promise? by SmartShadow @ 04/20/15 04:30 PM

Hay Megellan, I may think a bit more about the MPD thing. By the little I glean from your post, I think you should look into DDNOS and see if that rings home. I once read a recount of a DDNOS suffer who said somthing like. "I can't even get the
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: new blog online by MarkK @ 04/20/15 04:13 PM

Hot to cold, lol. 33 visitors one day, zero the next. Suwanee - thanks for stopping by the site- means a lot to me! G-Kiwi - - one of my favorite phrases there .. nice to know it's true for someone else.
Health and Wellbeing
Jump to new posts Re: Changing the Subject by Becoming Other @ 04/20/15 04:09 PM

Most of this book is about formation of identity, or the "subject". They are trying to take apart the idea that there is this pre-existing unitary subject, and that that should be juxtaposed to the society. As such it is also about gender
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Stockholm syndrome? by Serious Dave @ 04/20/15 04:06 PM

Tryingtolive, I don't know about the Stockholm thing, but I'm with you on the feeling of love and closeness being associated with sex. I assess almost everyone, male or female, who gets close to me as a potential sexual partner, at least initially.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Winhamness introduction - massive vent by Winhamness @ 04/20/15 02:47 PM

Thank you for the replies. sorryson, you have hit the nail right on the head. " I have learned it is important to reach out to people because when I go inward I see all the wrong in myself. I am learning the inward wrong I see is not real bu
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Incest question ? Sibling abuse ? by Serious Dave @ 04/20/15 02:43 PM

Dolphinboy, I just noticed your signature. "...and became Dolphinboy, my own protector." That hits close to home - a real punch in the guts. No one was there to protect us, so we spent the rest of our lives protecting ourselves at the
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Incest question ? Sibling abuse ? by Serious Dave @ 04/20/15 02:30 PM

Hey Tryingtolive, I was also a victim of my older brother and some of his friends. I would like to believe that no one knew. I never said a word to anyone, so they probably didn't. Also, much of the abuse happened away from home, so there was lit
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts A Promise? by Magellan @ 04/20/15 02:28 PM

Reflecting again this morning. About trust and lack of relationships. Lack of trust in myself, and lack of self esteem in myself. My life is riddled with the quandary that I have lived with since I was a child. The option of suicide. My thinking is
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sick child... (major triggers) by SmartShadow @ 04/20/15 02:01 PM

There are too many posabilitys, I don't think some one can be born understanding the concept of rape etc. unless we can have memories past through the DNA or the spirt or somthing. For my own sanity I have a need to stay in the concreat and rely on
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: In his best interest to know? by Serious Dave @ 04/20/15 01:55 PM

Hope, I tend to agree with Mishka and Acorn. I spent the past 45 years in misery from SA, not because I blocked it out, but because I didn't realize that it was abuse. I had no idea that what I thought of as just "something that happened"
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Which comes first by Serious Dave @ 04/20/15 01:23 PM

Very thoughtful comments all. I don't know the answer either, but I'll add the following to the discussion. My understanding is that, in order to address my feelings regarding SA, I need to be able to access them. It seems to me that people who ar
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Input requested - survivor curious sex with men by Serious Dave @ 04/20/15 01:00 PM

Mishka, Your needs, feelings, limits, and boundaries are no less important than his. Were I in your shoes, I wouldn't compromise, especially on something that could have devastating consequences. I would also consider that giving your permission o
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: One Judge's Op *****TRIGGER WARNING***** by Still @ 04/20/15 01:00 PM

Either way, I'm glad that CSA cases have remained a nuclear-grade topic. If they ever become mundane again, we'll all have failed. When I was a kid, according to my research, prosecutions were mega-rare and no one would discuss them.
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