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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by victor-victim @ 07/29/15 09:43 PM

i have been feeling so hopeless and helpless lately, that i can totally understand where you are at. i am almost there myself. i don't know what keeps me fired up enough to struggle on with my survival. i am still attached to people. i still h
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: the cycle by Strive 38/11 @ 07/29/15 09:01 PM

Change is the single greatest constant in the universe, grab hold of it, like your life depends on it and don't let go. On step at time. Give your boy within the means of traction, tell him every morning that he's doing well and give him tasks that w
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: And that is a wrap.... by sugarbaby @ 07/29/15 08:55 PM

Thanks. It's OK. I just feel like it's a shame.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: History by winter-rain @ 07/29/15 08:35 PM

dear magellan i totally relate i took a lot of flack from kids in school and neglect at home something else i relate to is the news and knowledge of worldy affairs, like war and peace and politics i remember seeing movies about holocaust and 'the day
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hi guys - I'm the dirty little hero by Chase Eric @ 07/29/15 07:26 PM

Strive - I understand your concern, and appreciate the support you express - a support that I can clearly read between the lines you have written. I don't know if I can explain this to your satisfaction, but I'll try. I agree with you that the la
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: What is the feeling of trust? by Magellan @ 07/29/15 06:43 PM

I honestly can't make sense of anything anymore. My brain is frantically trying to grasp for sense and meaning behind the sheer confusion I'm completely inundated by, and the only thing it can arrive at that has any sense to it is that the universe
Introductions
Jump to new posts Car park by Strive 38/11 @ 07/29/15 06:34 PM

Maybe trigger I was ten years old when I was gang raped by three guys in a VW combi van, in a secluded War Memorial car park near where I lived.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I have to ask something by Magellan @ 07/29/15 05:53 PM

I've emptied my mail box. Though I don't think anything left can be said. I see how how retarded I am. I can't make sense of really basic things. I'm so disturbed by the experiences and profound confusion that I'm having, that my brain is trying
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: The ONLY touch I receive by Magellan @ 07/29/15 05:49 PM

Thanks for your support guys. I've been defeated by this. I give up. It's obvious to me now that I'm fucked up in the head and the heart. I can't make sense of anything anymore. The most I can muster at the moment is that the Whole of the Entir
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: History by Magellan @ 07/29/15 05:47 PM

I've been totally and completely demoralized by this whole fuck hole of an existence. Thanks for your support, guys. I'm done. I'm clearly not comprehending really basic and simple things that most everyone else takes for granted. I'm far too gon
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Why? by Magellan @ 07/29/15 05:43 PM

Congratulations, God. You win. I give up. You tricked me into believing that if I did all the right things and put enough energy towards recovery, that I would find some success. Well, it's been 33 years now, and I've tried all during that time to
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation In Media
Jump to new posts Re: Triggers and How to Handle Them by bluesky @ 07/29/15 05:31 PM

Hey Jeff Sorry that you are feeling that way. You can PM any time or email or call. Hope you are using the self compassion that we learnd over the weekend. Take care and keep in touch.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Magellan @ 07/29/15 05:25 PM

Obi, I wish I knew how to respond to this without coming off like an asshole. I'll just leave it with this - thank you for your reply. Meanwhile, I'm decategorizing myself as a survivor. I'm no longer a survivor. I'm drowning in a sea of confusi
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts fear of women,bullying by Sterling @ 07/29/15 05:04 PM

I know i could search in this forum , but am lazy. I accepted , or allowing myself to more and more that i am gay. But am wondering , why is it that when i see a beautiful woman i feel forced to look at a woman's boobs. This is weird.. i just dont
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: free association & freedom of expression by Sterling @ 07/29/15 04:49 PM

be straight. be gay be straight be gay. be straight. ..accept being gay. came out to woman. the only that scares me or worries me is going to the food bank next week. A couple of women have a crush on me. It will go away , immediatley, one pic
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Secrecy, Threats, and Transparency by payne @ 07/29/15 04:40 PM

I didn't fail to remember the secret of his abuse, that my step-brother made me swear not to tell. However, it was not until 6 years ago at age 52 that I began to remember the abuse from my mother. I think her sudden physical as well as mental decl
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: A Good Book by payne @ 07/29/15 04:31 PM

I have not read the book, but I have heard of the title. Disposable sex is definitely how my mother treated each of her husbands and me as her only child. My dad is very old and still hurting over the divorce from back in 1961. He still remembers
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Secrecy, Threats, and Transparency by AlexBoyd @ 07/29/15 04:26 PM

Thanks for the responses, guys. I felt like I couldn't be the only one with issues about secrecy. It's always good to know I'm not all alone in my feelings.
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: rave review by victor-victim @ 07/29/15 04:06 PM

thank you so much, OCN, for the uplift. i am gonna need all the help i can get. THIS JUST HAPPENED! PANIC ATTACK! yesterday, the guy who has stood by me and defended my reputation and fought for my rights and spoke out against the injusti
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Obi @ 07/29/15 03:36 PM

It hasn't been a complete waste of time. you have many guys here who do consider you a friend and do care about you, whether you understand it or not. That right there means your life, working through your recovery and so on, was/is not a waste.
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: rave review by OCN @ 07/29/15 01:30 PM

Hold on there v-v! You shall overcome!
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: MONSTERS ~ Nikita Gill by OCN @ 07/29/15 01:27 PM

Sometimes its easier to look away, than to recognize what was always there. Seeing that the monsters we're fighting are really inside of us.. it can create open space in which we can start to first communicate with them, then integrate them and fina
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: ***TRIGGER*** Castration fear by learning2remember @ 07/29/15 01:05 PM

I don't think I was ever threatened with castration. I'm sure I wasn't. I have wondered about chemical castration as an elective procedure, though never considered it a real option since I am married. I used to harm my own genitals daily or several t
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Magellan @ 07/29/15 12:59 PM

What I need is someone in my life. But I've been rejected so many times, and I've failed 100% of the time, that I've become bitter because of the experience I've had with all the failures. I have nothing left in me to try anymore. Every attempt I ma
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation In Media
Jump to new posts Re: Triggers and How to Handle Them by Obi @ 07/29/15 12:50 PM

Hey Jeff!!!!!! love ya, brother!!! Always!
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