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Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Porn by Jay1946 @ 07/29/14 10:36 AM

I got addicted to internet porn. I am now convinced that the origin of my compulsion is rooted in childhood sexual abuse. It's numbing, and the more you do it, the more you want it. No doubt that undeterred, one crosses the line into physical infidel
Health and Wellbeing
Jump to new posts Re: Exercise Motivation Team by Jay1946 @ 07/29/14 10:29 AM

Jeff: My primary physician told me the same on my last visit. I told him that I never add salt to my food and eat healthy, but he says that just the salt that comes in packaged food, and specially in restaurant meals, is sufficient to cause one to r
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts How to bury oneself and arise anew? by cosmos @ 07/29/14 09:54 AM

For months now I’ve been in this profound state of sadness, it de-evolved from this need for total oblivion a need to die, then you realize that you’re playing tricks on yourself, your mind refuses to move, I intellectually understand, but my former
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: It's time by KMCINVA @ 07/29/14 09:30 AM

HouseOfCards Welcome and we are here to support you. You have hope which is so important in the healing process. It allows you realize there is a better way to live free of the abuse. MS has helped me in so many ways. I found support and could
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: going through a rough time by KMCINVA @ 07/29/14 09:23 AM

Don Sorry to hear of your difficulties. I think asking for help is difficult but as I have been healing I realize the importance of reaching out to others. They become support and allow you focus on the work that needs to be done to heal. Digging de
Health and Wellbeing
Jump to new posts Re: Exercise Motivation Team by lapchinj @ 07/29/14 09:03 AM

Since I fell apart about 3-1/2 years ago I've gained a lot of weight. I went from 186 to almost 240. I used to jog 10 miles twice a week and then 4 miles the rest of the week. I would do core and weights every morning and Saturdays was my day off. No
Poetry
Jump to new posts Richard Wagamese by victor-victim @ 07/29/14 07:51 AM

Medicine Walk When you believe you are beyond repair let go. When you can not be saved by all your friends, when you can not be saved by yourself, forget who you are and deliver what is left of yourself to that place you have been to before but did
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: The small kindnesses by Jude @ 07/29/14 07:49 AM

God bless Fiona! When God sends us angels like her we have to take notice that the world isn't all bad, and people aren't all abusers. Jude
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: going through a rough time by Jude @ 07/29/14 07:45 AM

Don buddy, We are with you. Asking for help is such a hard thing to do, but is critical to real recovery. Feel free to PM me anytine. Be well, Jude
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: It's time by Jude @ 07/29/14 07:43 AM

Welcome HOC, This is a safe place to get it off your chest. Rant, cry, whatever. We've all been there, so you will not be judged or dismissed. You short post was a huge step forward. Keep up the good work! Be well, Jude
Progress
Jump to new posts SEX!!!!! by Jude @ 07/29/14 07:39 AM

After 10+ years without it, my wife was able to trust me (after years of drinking, infidelity, and porn) enough to restart a sexual relationship with me. This was just a start. Two middle-aged naked people kissing, touching, stroking, etc. No penetra
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Porn by focusedbody @ 07/29/14 06:31 AM

"Numbing" is the worst part. I had no idea what I was missing out on by thinking that part of being virile was being numb. I wonder if I "jumped" from being a boy to being a man without considering it. Now I see circles of pain
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: The small kindnesses by Greg56 @ 07/29/14 01:51 AM

yes, I understand the "less than human" part. But, I usually don't try to convince anyone that I'm human. I just, be quiet and try to go unnoticed. For if I'm noticed that means that I have to interact. Sorry I'm not being helpful...a bi
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: Guilt anyone? by don64 @ 07/29/14 01:11 AM

Hi Gaatt, You're welcome, and glad to hear of your progress. Speaking of "As stupid and as destructive as it is," I love assassin/spy/retribution movies and actively seek them out. I've just exhausted everything decent Netflix has to of
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: mon dieu by victor-victim @ 07/29/14 12:25 AM

Mon Défenseur C'est à vous qu'ici je dédie Ces vers, enfants de mon loisir. Déjà ma bouteille est finie Et ma raison va revenir. Ne craignez pas que la sagesse Change votre image à mes yeux ; Je n'ai pas besoin de l'ivresse Pour vous voir bon
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Do I have to forgive? by pufferfish @ 07/29/14 12:25 AM

It's not easy to forgive. In working through your hurts you can reach a stage where you can say, 'I don't need to hold on to that anymore'. Then just turn it loose. It's like having some dust in the palm of your hand and you hold it up and puff a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Forced to be a child by dark empathy @ 07/29/14 12:19 AM

The problem is what the hell does imotional maturity mean? and what the hell does that have to do with getting a job, having relationships and doing the things adult do, ---- hell what sdoes that have to do with not enjoying collecting statues of fa
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: The small kindnesses by dark empathy @ 07/29/14 12:05 AM

Thanks Greg. I will say for me I really hate the fact that shopping makes me have to interact with others, to talk to people, to ask for things all because the stupid stuff isn't labeled in a way I can rread (i used to shop online until they bugger
U.S. & World News
Jump to new posts Re: SWEET Justice! by victor-victim @ 07/28/14 11:51 PM

Spoiler Content
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Where black stuff comes from by don64 @ 07/28/14 11:48 PM

Hi Still, This is all, obviously, simply my opinion. You don't take a damaged child, blame them, shame them, beat the shit out of them, and expect them to be able to make the choices of an adult who has never been damaged by abuse. I have been loc
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts going through a rough time by don64 @ 07/28/14 11:34 PM

I'm having some physical issues that are forcing me to ask for help, and am coming to understand my terror of asking for help has consistently and progressively weakened me for this entire lifetime. I'm being forced to walk through a level of terror
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: Effects of Covert child sexual abuse by fhorns @ 07/28/14 11:05 PM

I couldn't barely read it. I've posted before-------I do this---omg...with my daughter. Ex wife's an emotional failure, never home emotionally or physically, emotionally checked out, nothing more than a nasty bitch, a real loser in healthy relati
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Finally Feeling Free of CSA by Bluedogone @ 07/28/14 10:15 PM

KMCINVA, Thanks. What a great post to read !! It's truly a Godsend reading of your most positive experiences. I must admit that it brought tears of joy as I read of your earlier encounters then, and how they no longer have any effect in your life
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: Effects of Covert child sexual abuse by focusedbody @ 07/28/14 09:03 PM

Pufferfish: Thanks for the article. It's interesting that each time I read something like this, another part of the relationship comes to mind. My mom and I saw a lot of movies together when I was teenager, and they weren't all PG. I wonder if a
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: Simply: how the hell do I do this? by focusedbody @ 07/28/14 08:48 PM

Originally Posted By: fhornsa BIG PS: why would I seek "healing" if all I'm going to feel is greater pain? This is my biggest wondering lately. It's just where I am at. fhorns: For me this road has been about loving myself and discove
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