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Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: Exploring sexual attraction safely. by gaatt @ 02/03/16 03:56 PM

Thanks for your thoughts and your support FB, I find them very helpful.I feel less isolated in this exploration. Originally Posted By: focusedbodyWhat is ironic is of course that somehow we are taught that not safely experiencing sex is a possibl
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Fear is My Enemy by Michael1965 @ 02/03/16 03:39 PM

Fear completely dominates my life and the decisions I make. I have worked and worked and make no progress. I have resigned myself to the fact that this is how it is meant to be. There is no hope and death dominates my thoughts. Only in death will I f
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Perspective by KMCINVA @ 02/03/16 03:37 PM

Brian Well said--my problem and it was of late, falling from the cliff was I--I did not know how to stop the fall--it was like I was tumbling down Mt. McKinley, getting closer and closer to the foot of the mountain. Something stopped me before I hit
Introductions
Jump to new posts Perspective by Brian Cardoza @ 02/03/16 03:19 PM

I learn more when I am falling from the cliff than when I am standing on top wondering how to get down. I learn that no matter what time has a way of taking care of all the issues real or imagined. I learn that what matters is what is happening curre
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Fear is My Enemy by KMCINVA @ 02/03/16 03:07 PM

I realized this today--I freeze when this fear hits me. In the past it could last for hours but I have been working on it and it is much shorter lived. I just hate the way my body feels when this fear overtakes. I feel like my body is clenching and a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts relapse and recovery by bey @ 02/03/16 02:16 PM

*trigger, drugs and abuse* Life has been really shitty lately and I haven't been helping it any. this past october i had to get an emergency ileostomy after years of gut issues. totally permanent, it is what it is. october - december i was getting
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Fear is My Enemy by iaccus @ 02/03/16 01:47 PM

yes, I have many, and they keep me from being the person i want to be, jovial and present for social interactions. im working on it.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Fear is My Enemy by KMCINVA @ 02/03/16 01:41 PM

I have great fears from my last ordeal of despair and hopelessness. I am working hard to put life in order but I still have moments that the thoughts of death return. These thoughts are not overwhelming or all consuming, but they are there. I thi
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Letter to ourselves (Trigger warning please) by Brian Cardoza @ 02/03/16 01:33 PM

William Your reply was FAR from stupid good sir far from it
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Letter to ourselves (Trigger warning please) by Brian Cardoza @ 02/03/16 01:32 PM

William, It would seem after reading your reply that you have started to write now. Remember this is your letter to yourself not to us. And if you still feel anger than express it on paper so one you don't lose physical control of your pain and two
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Told a friend, mistake I think by KMCINVA @ 02/03/16 12:10 PM

I think about this frequently, especially the pain that goes with the CSA and when people deny your abuse or give a sense of not caring. Rich is right life is not painless and deciding to talk about the abuse is the most difficult thing in the world
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Told a friend, mistake I think by Rich1967 @ 02/03/16 11:38 AM

I don't think life was meant to be painless. I don't think you can grow/heal painlessly either. As long as you don't intentionally try to hurt people making them uncomfortable is probably not a bad thing. I do think wholeheartedly that talking a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Finally, I am asking for help with this.... by abused9 @ 02/03/16 11:25 AM

Logan I feel your pain for sure. I don't know how to help you. I'm new at this, and have only been dealing with my CSA situation for a month and a half. I wish you hope through your struggle to heal. Like you and many of us here I'm struggling also.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Guess I should say a bit more by abused9 @ 02/03/16 11:10 AM

Thank all of you for your support. I have talked to some of you in chat. I'm fortunate to have been directed to this wonderful place, and to meet everyone I have met here and everyone I will meet here throughout my journey.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: appreciate this community by 30something @ 02/03/16 11:09 AM

Thank you for the welcome, @abused9. I do feel safe here (as safe as I am learning to feel again). I've read some of your story and I am so sorry for the violations committed against you by church authorities. I was raised Catholic as well, and there
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: appreciate this community by abused9 @ 02/03/16 11:00 AM

Welcome to this community. I started here in December, and I started Therapy and joined a CSA group, "the only one in my state", then also. One of my group members, told me about this site. Therapy, my group, and this site, are my safe plac
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Regarding Intimacy TRIGGER WARNING by Rich1967 @ 02/03/16 10:52 AM

Powerful as usual. For me it brought up my struggle with identity issues. I have always wanted and needed male affection and intimacy BUT having that all tied to my sexual abuse made it seem like it would never be possible UNLESS I identified as ga
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Told a friend, mistake I think by abused9 @ 02/03/16 10:35 AM

Kyle I too don't want to force people to go where there uncomfortable. I think I could understand that if the people I were talking to were casual friends, however the person my post referred to was a friend of 30 plus years. We do live many states a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling triggered by Obi @ 02/03/16 10:33 AM

Thanks Lee. It may have hit me harder than normal because I know I have been under a lot of stress lately. Such a sad story.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Told a friend, mistake I think by abused9 @ 02/03/16 10:28 AM

Thanks, and I like you will be more guarded. If by chance when I'm out and friends or others perhaps see me down, and ask, I "might" just say I have PTSD and leave it at that. If they ask why I have it, I just won't answer that question. As
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Anyone ever feel the same or been where I'm at? by dark empathy @ 02/03/16 10:21 AM

Wow, I remember the numbness. The first memory of my flat, this my first actual home (not counting my room at university), was waking in the morning, attempting to distract myself with a cold war era techno sf novel, trying to tell myself that this
Male Survivors
Brian, Thank you for your encouragement. I really do appreciate it. You know, there are so many days that I have now and didn't have after I had to start trying to deal with all of this in which I feel "okay." I've made a lot of good strid
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: H has now started Twink Porn- Worried by traveler @ 02/03/16 09:37 AM

This is not a justification or excuse for child porn - but an observation from my own experience. First - I think there is a lot of truth in what SmartShadow has written above. I want to add my own experience to give support and maybe an individual
Spirituality and Survivors
Jump to new posts an exercise to end suffering? by victor-victim @ 02/03/16 01:00 AM

http://www.supersoul.tv/supersoul-sunday/the-exercise-that-could-end-your-suffering - regardless of our spiritual beliefs, we are all seeking enlightenment and an end to our suffering. - we shouldn’t try to escape difficult times. Rather, sufferin
Male Survivors
Hears to thriving...a much better way to live one's life for sure!
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