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Military Survivors
Jump to new posts I just called an MST number...here's what happened by GeorgeMartin @ 10/21/14 04:48 PM

I called an MST personnel (a woman) who was nice and seemed to listen. They she gives me another phone number to contact (safehelpline)... Then I get another 1 (800) number ... and then another, and another and another. Finally, I get to yet another
Spirituality and Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Am I the only one......? by fhorns @ 10/21/14 03:44 PM

I sat here getting anxious about today's (normal) responsibilities. In my head I heard "watch and pray". For some reason, Jesus knew we were weak. He told us things.......since He loves me. I know I'm not alone, but I'll ask: am I the
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: bull shit- taking responsibility by Sterling @ 10/21/14 03:25 PM

hey ". hey! "what is going on?" not much. I have been trying to focus on too much. I don't know what to ....I am working hard to want to do something with my life. Pissed off that I have these injuries, have a big debt and am sca
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Therapy -- Does/did it "work" for you? by KMCINVA @ 10/21/14 03:20 PM

SM Finding the right therapist is important. You have to feel safe and at the same time they must have the ability to move you forward. My T is part of peer group that discuss issues without identifying clients. It allows them to gain insights and
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Therapy -- Does/did it "work" for you? by SurvivingMe @ 10/21/14 03:04 PM

Hey guys -- I don't post alot, but I read the forums nearly every day. I really appreciate those of you who post and respond and have gained alot of wisdom and help from many of you. I'm not really sure what kind of response I'm expecting here but f
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Shame Binding by Chase Eric @ 10/21/14 02:55 PM

Originally Posted By: justplainmeHave any of you address the topic of shame in your lives? This question strikes me as odd. It's sort of like going to a Saints game and asking if anyone has addressed the topic of football. To survivors, I think CS
Spirituality and Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Am I the only one......? by fhorns @ 10/21/14 02:51 PM

Thank you newground. I write here to be validated. Thank you.
Spirituality and Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Am I the only one......? by newground @ 10/21/14 02:42 PM

Hey bud NO you are certainly not the only one. I struggle so in this part of my life. trusting people has gotten me burned and I fear that. and my thoughts and feelings get so clouded I want to have intimate kinds of friendship. but what does that m
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Shame Binding by focusedbody @ 10/21/14 02:14 PM

Originally Posted By: justplainmeI don't feel guilt at all, by i do feel intense shame. Not purposely but unwillingly. Justplainme: This seems to be a good definition of what makes shame toxic. A shame felt in a purposeful way is the kind that has
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Starting recovery by JW1230 @ 10/21/14 02:02 PM

Welcome Anura, I just began healing from my abuse in June, so I am fairly new to the site as well. It has been so helpful in helping me better understand myself. I hope that you find a lot of strength and hope here as I have. Take Care, John
Spirituality and Survivors
Jump to new posts Am I the only one......? by fhorns @ 10/21/14 01:44 PM

I sat here fearing today. Nothing bad is happening. I'm just allowing feelings to surface, and I thought......... no, can't share that. I should ask God instead..... But trusting Him is scary... Didn't think I could admit that.... Is relying o
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Starting recovery by Anura @ 10/21/14 01:35 PM

Thank you all. My girlfriend found this site, and I'm so glad that she did. i have read so many things that I can completely identify with. It has helped me gain some understanding. But I have just begun to try to see it as not being my fault. I have
U.S. & World News
Shrugging it off as no big deal and minimising it is a sure way of ensuring a lifetime of pain, depression, dissociation and much more for the victims. It let my perps off the hook at the time, they returned and made the next year or so of my life h
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Distressing morning ahead. by Nothing Man @ 10/21/14 10:51 AM

I'm glad you are feeling better. I am sending you my support as well. Mike
U.S. & World News
Jump to new posts Re: Scholastic football culture - not much has changed by Chase Eric @ 10/21/14 10:49 AM

From the NY Times article... Quote:The freshmen may now be minimizing any abuse because of the scorn that has been directed their way. Prosecutors here face a challenge: building a case not on physical evidence, but on the testimony of teenagers who
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Shame Binding by Nothing Man @ 10/21/14 10:49 AM

I keep telling myself every day it was not my fault. While I understand it in principle, I still do not accept it in fact -- and I know that my thought process there is completely wrong. There are so many barriers put up which inhibit healing. The
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I had a bad feeling today....... by Nothing Man @ 10/21/14 10:45 AM

We have already been through and survived the hardest thing ever, the abuse. Now we just have to learn to heal and you just gave us a great exemplar of how we should deal with our feelings. Thank you. Mike
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Starting recovery by Nothing Man @ 10/21/14 10:43 AM

Welcome, Anura, and I am sorry for what brought you here. I too have struggled with self-loathing for the abuse I suffered, some of which happened at the same stage of life as you. One of the things I am trying to learn is to have compassion toward
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: My intro by Nothing Man @ 10/21/14 10:22 AM

Dave, I'm sorry for the reasons you are here but glad that you found us. We have all suffered in one way or the other but what we do have in common is a sense of comradeship and a strong gift of support to each other. Congratulations on your first
U.S. & World News
The victims are now targets: Quote:On Monday, the New York Times reported that two of the victims said they were wearing football pants when they were allegedly assaulted, with one qualifying the incident as "horsing around" and saying it
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Starting recovery by Chase Eric @ 10/21/14 10:05 AM

Our stories sound so similar right from the start. My abuse, too, started at twelve and went several years. It was also at the hands of a so-called close friend. I was particularly struck with the title of your post. Wiser minds here will disagre
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Starting recovery by Anura @ 10/21/14 09:44 AM

Thank you Kevin, for your sharing and support. I am planning on finding a therapist as soon as my insurance kicks in, on November 1st.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Starting recovery by KMCINVA @ 10/21/14 08:38 AM

Anura Welcome and you have taken a great step toward healing. It is wonderful you have a loving and supportive girlfriend. Many of us, including myself, never saw value in who we were. I felt as damaged goods but could not tell anyone this because
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Starting recovery by Anura @ 10/21/14 08:29 AM

I am almost 39 years old. My CSA started when I was about 12 and lasted for many years. Being the victim of a close friend. I am just now coming to terms with it, and realizing how many of the issues I have, and have had, are probably the direct resu
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Under aged sexual exploitation or art by dark empathy @ 10/21/14 07:29 AM

Wow, a very interesting topic and I appreciate the thoughts of people here. @David I can tell you, separating individual reactions to things from moral judgements is not easy. I am genophobic, any depiction of s/x at all I find bothers me, indeed if
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