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Family and Friends
Jump to new posts trauma bonding by focusedbody @ 08/28/14 11:36 PM

A simple definition of a complex interaction goes like this: A trauma bond is made when someone uses fear, excitement, sexual feelings or sexual physiology to entangle another person. When I think of what so many people have gone through, this pict
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Little Boy Lost by lapchinj @ 08/28/14 11:18 PM

Hey Kevin I hear what you're saying but that little boy destroyed his own childhood and destroyed my life trying to get away from him and lead a normal life. The only cries for help was from me getting dragged under by my past - that ghost. Origina
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Little Boy Lost by KMCINVA @ 08/28/14 10:42 PM

Remember that child within will control until we let the child be part of us. That child is only looking for us to accept him as part of us. How the child manifests himself will be different for each of us. Sometimes the child rules consciously and
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Little Boy Lost by lapchinj @ 08/28/14 10:24 PM

Hey 1lifenow I'm truly sorry for your pain but it sounds like your younger self is still in control. Originally Posted By: 1lifenowSo I take from this that THE RUNNING HAS TO STOP. understand what voice is speaking and recognize when its that littl
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: It sounds incredible. Nobody believes me. by pufferfish @ 08/28/14 10:14 PM

This post may be very difficult for some to read. Be careful. I have had very little success in sharing my story. Even some therapists don't want to accept that someone could place electrodes in a child's head. None of the doctors including the ne
Male Survivors
If I had known I could have a happy life.... If I'd known I could be freed from the shame, anger, and self-hatred...... If I'd known I didn't have to hide what happened, and what it did to my life..... If I had known that I didn't have to self-med
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Going Crazy by Jude @ 08/28/14 10:00 PM

Originally Posted By: usmcmarine21...I don't see any black people on this site all are white. Black men are victims too. We are assaulted and abused .... Welcome USMC! I have often wondered the same thing about the MS membership. Where are the Africa
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Where to begin... by Jude @ 08/28/14 09:38 PM

Agreed VA, you've made a great start. Far ahead of myself when I arrived at MS. The same-sex acting out that you describe may or may not be a deal-breaker for your marriage. I hope you are able to salvage what you've been working for with her. The
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: How do you nurture your inner infant? by pufferfish @ 08/28/14 09:19 PM

I went through a stage where I had a lot of inner children. Yes, I had DID. I had a tape (cd would do fine) of children's music. The music was very cheery children's music with the voices of children heard. It was healing music. I had made a diagr
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: You can never say it enough times by pufferfish @ 08/28/14 09:08 PM

Yes, I agree I've been in the depths and it's no fun. It's like being in a cave where all is darkness, but if you look up you can see the blue sky. Puffer
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: How do you nurture your inner infant? by don64 @ 08/28/14 08:59 PM

Hi Gaatt, IMO = in my opinion, and you are definitely not alone! Finding safe ways to release the pent up rage towards my mother seems central for me. I didn't begin to remember the sexual abuse from my mother until spring of 2013. And, it is an
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts You can never say it enough times by Bluedogone @ 08/28/14 08:41 PM

It's been a couple of months since CloudyFalls last posted on the forum. And the last posts were not at all positive or encouraging. {{{Triggers}}} I've been at the lowest of lows several times in life so I know a little about depression and hopele
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Where to begin... by lapchinj @ 08/28/14 08:36 PM

Hey VA Sorry you have to be here but I think you will meet fellow survivors here willing to help a fellow survivor. Being in therapy together with your wife is a great advantage in your road to healing. There is a ton of resources here and don't be
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Another update Concerned_husky by don64 @ 08/28/14 08:26 PM

I've been concerned for Husky also. Hope he's ok. Don
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I wasn't gay. I was abused and confused. by don64 @ 08/28/14 08:23 PM

Hi VASurvivor, For me, it's a long, long journey through the abuse. As I move deeper and closer to the original abuse, and am able to release more and more of the trapped fear, terror, rage and feelings of helplessness, I create more and more clear
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Another update Concerned_husky by Bluedogone @ 08/28/14 08:14 PM

It's been over a month since the last post from Concerned_husky. Anyone heard from him? At the time he was making the move for a new freedom and a new apartment. I hope things have gone well for him as he exercises this new freedom, and new phase
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I wasn't gay. I was abused and confused. by johnnyc717 @ 08/28/14 08:13 PM

My dad raped me between 9 and 13. I think the thing that you have to keep in mind VASurvivor is that you can find the answers to the questions, but unfortunately it doesn't come immediately. The "right" questions is a beautiful way of see
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: If I had known (longish list, add your own) by Greg56 @ 08/28/14 08:10 PM

If I had known that I was too young to know...then I wouldn't have blamed and been ashamed of myself. If I had known that my brother was "sick", I wouldn't have looked up to him as much as I did. If I had known that one man could rape ano
Off Topic
Jump to new posts funny books by Sterling @ 08/28/14 08:10 PM

Too much ? anyone know of some good books that are funny? It`s for me, I couldn't handle crime or sex. Perhaps, something teenagy. I cant afford to buy books but ....I do have access to a large library. Even books that are in a bookstore , I could
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: If I had known (longish list, add your own) by DavoSwim @ 08/28/14 07:25 PM

If I had known it was okay to stay "Stop" I might have tried. If I had known someone would believe me, I would have spoken up earlier. If I had known that just because he was a man of God didn't mean I was automatically safe, I might not
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: learning to embrace loneliness help plese by journey4two @ 08/28/14 06:47 PM

Hugs, HD001. I'm sorry it is so tough right now.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: the concept of "playing"... by VASurvivor @ 08/28/14 06:44 PM

Hey ethero22, and others, I've also had to work on this concept of "play". As an overachieving adult male, and one who had been abused specifically DURING play, I have had difficulty allowing myself to "play". For me, I have r
U.S. & World News
Jump to new posts Re: Just how many mistakes do they need to make by victor-victim @ 08/28/14 06:37 PM

trigger warning! Hundreds of children have been systematically raped, beaten and sex trafficked in a northern English town for more than 12 years. And it is still going on, a government commissioned report says. The city's government recently ma
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: How do you nurture your inner infant? by gaatt @ 08/28/14 06:30 PM

Hi Don, Thanks! it's very helpful for me to hear of your journey to heal the infant in you. Originally Posted By: don64 My experience is that the trauma written in infancy is particularly hard to shift, but it is happening for me day by day. Ver
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: learning to embrace loneliness help plese by KMCINVA @ 08/28/14 06:17 PM

I am a survivor and can tell you CSA creates loneliness everywhere. The victim until he/she heals, knows loneliness due to fear does not allow the victim to truly connect with others, leaving those that love the victim to confront loneliness because
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