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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Doing the math TRIGGERS by iaccus @ 02/10/16 05:34 PM

So today we were talking in the chat room and I did the math. Over 8 years of abuse, from age 6 to 14, with an average of once a week (and it was usually more often that that), conservatively speaking, that's more than 400 assaults before I reached
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts molested by my older brother by Searching13 @ 02/10/16 05:33 PM

I am very new to all of this... I am a 35yo, father of 2 and married for the last 6 years. For many years I repressed that I was molested by my bio older brother from the ages of 4-13. It was actually the Oprah episode with Tyler Perry; I remember si
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Porn. Ugh. by Rich1967 @ 02/10/16 05:32 PM

I totally agree with looking at the reasons why. It wasn't till I realized why I was doing it that I could put an almost end to wanting to do it. For me I was addicted to the porn that was similar to my abuse. It was a way to go back to the scen
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Looking for the Oprah part 2 wives of CSA men by Searching13 @ 02/10/16 05:19 PM

Does anyone know if this has been effective?
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by taofish @ 02/10/16 05:02 PM

and ps... really encouraging note.. and I am super happy for you and your lady friend. <3 Kris
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Porn. Ugh. by SmartShadow @ 02/10/16 04:27 PM

Do you know why you chose to look? You said that you don't want to feel so compelled anymore. What compelled you this time? And What did it do for you. No right or wrong answers to this type of question. It's good you are talking about it. It may
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Are flashbacks part of the healing process by Bluedogone @ 02/10/16 04:24 PM

I think both. Flashbacks for me are a part of the healing process, and healing is continuous. I doubt if anyone is ever completely healed from the trauma that accompanies sexual abuse. Two or three times in the past I just knew I was healed and ov
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by taofish @ 02/10/16 04:00 PM

wonderful! thank you, Luke.... we are working on it. Normally, he offers to rub my back etc and it is lovely. He is learning to be more affectionate just for the sake of affection - not necessarily leading to sex. It seems like in the past - that
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: recollected sensations ... possible triggers by Shyshark @ 02/10/16 03:56 PM

Thanks guys ... this took me years to sort out and hours to write ... it's nice to be heard.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Are flashbacks part of the healing process by traveler @ 02/10/16 03:52 PM

I think that they can be either. you can suffer from them and never get beyond that terrible experience - having it over and over. or you can use them as a part of the healing process by learning to process them and what they reveal and discovering h
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Are flashbacks part of the healing process by SmartShadow @ 02/10/16 03:47 PM

From my limited experance, talking with my T and reading about what others have gone through I have some thoughts on body memories and trauma. My thinking at this point is that the body, mind and soul are trying to heal and regain balance. I use the
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Porn. Ugh. by 30something @ 02/10/16 03:46 PM

Thanks for the encouragement, Bluedogone. Asa
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Something new to hold onto by kylew @ 02/10/16 03:37 PM

Well everyone...T made me think today. I've never been able to make a distinction between selfishness, and self-care. We decided my actions belong in the self-care category and so what if my motive wasn't 100 percent focused on my former teacher.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Porn. Ugh. by Bluedogone @ 02/10/16 03:24 PM

Oops is right. Good job, and only a minor set back. There is so much porn all over the internet, it's a real challenge to resist. But you can do it, you've already proven you can. Here's to a new day. And, at least another six weeks at a time.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by dark empathy @ 02/10/16 03:05 PM

Hi Taofish, it seems odd to me that I'm even able! to answer this topic considering I've suffered genophobia for years, but thanks to my lady i now feel able to. First, for me, genophobia, that is fear of s/x (I even now dislike the word), was a maj
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Porn. Ugh. by 30something @ 02/10/16 02:56 PM

I'd been so good about avoiding porn so far in 2016. Guess I lasted almost 6 weeks without visual stimulation-- then today, oops. I want to not feel so compelled toward it anymore. The pull is strong. Tomorrow is a new day....
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: i love you by Sterling @ 02/10/16 02:08 PM

The best thing you can do for your health and weight loss is avoid grains until you get to your target weight. And at that point, eat them sparingly, if at all. when i t can umlong enough. I race.. down fox bay. and then I trur turn an d I ask
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by taofish @ 02/10/16 01:00 PM

I hope the title doesn't upset anyone! I was hoping that some survivors would weigh in.
Family and Friends
Thank you for posting, Trishy... it does help... mostly just talking about it - since it's not something I can share. I don't know if I am ready to give up on the physical side... in every other aspect, our marriage is great and our daily life is won
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Survivor questions re: sexuality and intimacy by taofish @ 02/10/16 12:47 PM

So.. as I'm new to all this (as of January)... I am flooded every day with thoughts and questions and I hope that some survivors might respond but I also welcome feedback from partners. very briefly... newly married to 60 year old who I suspect is cs
Family and Friends
Hi, I dont have any clever words to help, but just that you aren't alone. Another night on my own, while H sleeps on the lounge. Best of friends, sometimes lovers, very protective of me when we are out, but no physical intimacy. I miss the hugs and
Poetry
Jump to new posts Oh Canada by zip14 @ 02/10/16 10:08 AM

In Canada we are witness to a sex assault trial involving a popular radio personality (Jian Ghomeshi). It has been a disaster and exposed a flawed justice system. But it is raising some voices. We just released Graham James on parole (he did 5 years
U.S. & World News
Jump to new posts Re: Superbowl & sex trafficking by Nothing Man @ 02/10/16 10:03 AM

American exceptionalism?
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Inspirational Video Trigger Warning by KMCINVA @ 02/10/16 09:55 AM

I found the courage of these survivors to be inspirational in this video. It is the trailer for a film Pursuit of Truth by Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse https://vimeo.com/61221786 Kevin
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: A Quote Being Treated Badly by BFree27 @ 02/10/16 09:47 AM

I've always been under the impression that humans are on this planet to observe. Whatever may be "good", whatever may be "bad", it doesn't really matter at the end of it all, when we finally destroy this planet with our horrible h
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