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Introductions
Jump to new posts Car park by Strive 38/11 @ Yesterday at 06:34 PM

Maybe trigger I was ten years old when I was gang raped by three guys in a VW combi van, in a secluded War Memorial car park near where I lived.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I have to ask something by Magellan @ Yesterday at 05:53 PM

I've emptied my mail box. Though I don't think anything left can be said. I see how how retarded I am. I can't make sense of really basic things. I'm so disturbed by the experiences and profound confusion that I'm having, that my brain is trying
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: The ONLY touch I receive by Magellan @ Yesterday at 05:49 PM

Thanks for your support guys. I've been defeated by this. I give up. It's obvious to me now that I'm fucked up in the head and the heart. I can't make sense of anything anymore. The most I can muster at the moment is that the Whole of the Entir
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: History by Magellan @ Yesterday at 05:47 PM

I've been totally and completely demoralized by this whole fuck hole of an existence. Thanks for your support, guys. I'm done. I'm clearly not comprehending really basic and simple things that most everyone else takes for granted. I'm far too gon
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Why? by Magellan @ Yesterday at 05:43 PM

Congratulations, God. You win. I give up. You tricked me into believing that if I did all the right things and put enough energy towards recovery, that I would find some success. Well, it's been 33 years now, and I've tried all during that time to
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation In Media
Jump to new posts Re: Triggers and How to Handle Them by bluesky @ Yesterday at 05:31 PM

Hey Jeff Sorry that you are feeling that way. You can PM any time or email or call. Hope you are using the self compassion that we learnd over the weekend. Take care and keep in touch.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Magellan @ Yesterday at 05:25 PM

Obi, I wish I knew how to respond to this without coming off like an asshole. I'll just leave it with this - thank you for your reply. Meanwhile, I'm decategorizing myself as a survivor. I'm no longer a survivor. I'm drowning in a sea of confusi
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts fear of women,bullying by Sterling @ Yesterday at 05:04 PM

I know i could search in this forum , but am lazy. I accepted , or allowing myself to more and more that i am gay. But am wondering , why is it that when i see a beautiful woman i feel forced to look at a woman's boobs. This is weird.. i just dont
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: free association & freedom of expression by Sterling @ Yesterday at 04:49 PM

be straight. be gay be straight be gay. be straight. ..accept being gay. came out to woman. the only that scares me or worries me is going to the food bank next week. A couple of women have a crush on me. It will go away , immediatley, one pic
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Secrecy, Threats, and Transparency by payne @ Yesterday at 04:40 PM

I didn't fail to remember the secret of his abuse, that my step-brother made me swear not to tell. However, it was not until 6 years ago at age 52 that I began to remember the abuse from my mother. I think her sudden physical as well as mental decl
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: A Good Book by payne @ Yesterday at 04:31 PM

I have not read the book, but I have heard of the title. Disposable sex is definitely how my mother treated each of her husbands and me as her only child. My dad is very old and still hurting over the divorce from back in 1961. He still remembers
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Secrecy, Threats, and Transparency by AlexBoyd @ Yesterday at 04:26 PM

Thanks for the responses, guys. I felt like I couldn't be the only one with issues about secrecy. It's always good to know I'm not all alone in my feelings.
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: rave review by victor-victim @ Yesterday at 04:06 PM

thank you so much, OCN, for the uplift. i am gonna need all the help i can get. THIS JUST HAPPENED! PANIC ATTACK! yesterday, the guy who has stood by me and defended my reputation and fought for my rights and spoke out against the injustice a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Obi @ Yesterday at 03:36 PM

It hasn't been a complete waste of time. you have many guys here who do consider you a friend and do care about you, whether you understand it or not. That right there means your life, working through your recovery and so on, was/is not a waste.
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: rave review by OCN @ Yesterday at 01:30 PM

Hold on there v-v! You shall overcome!
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: MONSTERS ~ Nikita Gill by OCN @ Yesterday at 01:27 PM

Sometimes its easier to look away, than to recognize what was always there. Seeing that the monsters we're fighting are really inside of us.. it can create open space in which we can start to first communicate with them, then integrate them and fina
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: ***TRIGGER*** Castration fear by learning2remember @ Yesterday at 01:05 PM

I don't think I was ever threatened with castration. I'm sure I wasn't. I have wondered about chemical castration as an elective procedure, though never considered it a real option since I am married. I used to harm my own genitals daily or several t
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Magellan @ Yesterday at 12:59 PM

What I need is someone in my life. But I've been rejected so many times, and I've failed 100% of the time, that I've become bitter because of the experience I've had with all the failures. I have nothing left in me to try anymore. Every attempt I ma
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation In Media
Jump to new posts Re: Triggers and How to Handle Them by Obi @ Yesterday at 12:50 PM

Hey Jeff!!!!!! love ya, brother!!! Always!
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Obi @ Yesterday at 12:47 PM

I don't think anyone lied to you. You are just figuring out who you are and what it is that you truly love. You searched those areas because you honestly thought you truly loved it. You find out that it isn't. Doesn't mean people lied, just means you
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts A Good Book by gaatt @ Yesterday at 12:22 PM

Hi Guys, Have any of you read "The Myth of Male Power" by Warren Farrell? It's a little dated now (pub. 1993) but still very relevant to the kinds of things I'm dealing with. I'm reading it now. He calls men "The disposable sex"
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: the cycle by DesertFrog @ Yesterday at 12:11 PM

now bring on the depression and regrets of my actions while drunk arghhh lather rinse repeat like a dog to vomit
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: the cycle by manipulated @ Yesterday at 11:43 AM

DesertFrog I was feeling the self loathing and rinse repeat so strongly early this week. More details flooded back. I couldn't get my breath and it dominated my morning. Then I remembered I have recovered before. I AM a survivor and I will NOT let th
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts the cycle by DesertFrog @ Yesterday at 11:29 AM

it never ends i am insane i have to be i will go months without issue then blamo here i sit again self loathing drinking too much and porn and screwing up relationships work school and family why do i push these people away? i hate myself and pe
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: A video about death with statistics (reassuring) by Jay1946 @ Yesterday at 11:27 AM

Great video!!!!! Simply, but very eloquently said.
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