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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: ironic by Sonata1 @ Yesterday at 01:13 PM

For me anxiety has some connection with the threat of violence associated with my abuse, whereas here I am not in that headspace. So in that sense it's safe in a way that real life may not be. And it's also honest in a way that daily life is not, whi
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Just because by NoSimpleMachine @ Yesterday at 01:06 PM

True JustScott, it's oversimplifying to say that forgiveness and peace are states you arrive at once and stay at. It is a daily choice. The way I see it, forgiveness is the state of habitually making the self-loving choice to let your day and life be
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Looking for advice and support by Dan234racer @ Yesterday at 12:34 PM

Hey guys Well I took your advice and have gotten that 'victims no longer' book but in digital format Although all I have read so far is the introduction and a bit of the first part all I can say is WOW this book is amazing. Even though the book ta
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: Does This Ever Get You Annoyed? by JustScott @ Yesterday at 11:42 AM

Get's me PO'd real quick. The one that really gets up my dander is the "Men can Stop rape!" BS. The whole notion that if only men could be educated and stop raping there would be no more rape in the world.... If it was legal I'd love to s
Classifieds
Jump to new posts Re: Share your thoughts on outreach to male survivors by JustScott @ Yesterday at 11:31 AM

Bravo for actually having a crisis center that cares. I tried to work my my local one to get services for men and it's been years and nothing has changed. They spout a "we help everyone" party line, but have nothing to offer men. Oh they'l
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: ironic by JustScott @ Yesterday at 11:20 AM

As they say, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't." It's why some people never get past the initial stages of recovery. They get "comfortable" with where they are, because they learn to understand it and can deal w
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Just because by JustScott @ Yesterday at 11:13 AM

I don't agree that forgiving means the hurt is gone, or the struggle to trust is gone. Damage is damage, scars are scars. Even if you forgive that doesn't take the damage or remove the scars. Still looking for validation from your abusers etc thoug
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Done by SurvivingMe @ Yesterday at 11:00 AM

Anura: I am sorry you feel this way. I have felt that way in the past many times, but I no longer feel that way. I am worth every minute, every day, every week, and even every year it takes to put my past into perspective and move forward. And you a
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Excerpt from "The Boat" - Alistair MacLeod (1968) by highflight @ Yesterday at 10:24 AM

Came across this passage in the subject story. It's in a compilation Titled Island: The Complete Stories. I thought that it was powerfully descriptive and really hit home for how I feel some days. Quote:There are times even now, when I awake at fo
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Comfortably Numb by highflight @ Yesterday at 09:43 AM

Such a powerful song. This one always resonated with me as well, but hadn't seen this video. Thanks!
Military Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I just called an MST number...here's what happened by GeorgeMartin @ Yesterday at 04:01 AM

At times, I think I am making it all up. That the horrors of my childhood are false. That I am fake. Its just that its been thirty-five years since we were in that environment of abuse and torment. In the one dynamic I can discern quite a number
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Done by Anura @ Yesterday at 04:01 AM

The damage that I have caused is quite obviously unreconcileable. No clue what I should do. Don't think that I'm even goong to try
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Looking for advice and support by justplainme @ Yesterday at 02:16 AM

Welcome matey, like the fellows said theres many resources here. And remember you're not alone!
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Starting recovery by Dave PNW @ Yesterday at 01:02 AM

Anura I read several of your posts and your story this evening and I wanted to reach out and tell you I understand. Our stories are similar in some ways. I was first abused by a neighbor when I was 9 and then again by the same boy more frequently
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Inpatient mental health by Still @ Yesterday at 12:10 AM

Originally Posted By: sugarbabyI'm glad it worked well for you Still. If you don't mind sharing - was it two stays far apart in time? Or, was it a second stay in a different place? Or......just not a long enough first stay? I'm just curious. I don'
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Just because by NoSimpleMachine @ 10/29/14 11:51 PM

How is it forgiveness when you still hold on the hurt, and the fear, and the inability to trust? How is it forgiveness when you still seek to be validated by crying in front of the other, hoping your tears and pain are understood and validated so you
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Just because by Still @ 10/29/14 11:46 PM

Just because I forgive you, does not mean I don't have lapses of human reaction. Just because I'll let the betrayal "go," does not mean I don't sometimes feel the sharp and cold blade cutting my heart out...your foot crushing it into the
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: 2 weeks into realizing what happened by Jude @ 10/29/14 11:27 PM

Originally Posted By: Sonata1Will others care about my story even if my life isn't a mess because of what happened to me? Did not realize how scared I am that I'm not even good enough at being abused to get a good response. How messed up is that? We
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Comfortably Numb by Still @ 10/29/14 11:23 PM

Some of you know that I use to have to stay awake all night as a child. I never wanted to wake-up dead or about to die. Never wanted to awake in a violent storm. Most non-school nights, and throughout the Summers, my older sisters would stay away at
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: I feel terrible for writing this by GoodHope @ 10/29/14 10:40 PM

When i think of intimacy, I don't think of sex at all. I think of a willingness to be known and seen. I think my husband and I lack that, but the sex is great. I guess the perfect combination would be both. As long as your partner keeps his "mas
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: Some YOU PerspectivE by Chase Eric @ 10/29/14 10:13 PM

Agree. But hearts that beat so conditionally do not beat true.
Spirituality and Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Pray for me please by fhorns @ 10/29/14 09:07 PM

Ok, just sharing some small victories and answered prayers lately. As of 2 days ago, I'd read something in Guideposts, and it mirrored what I'd heard (in my head): read. Feeling frustrated, I called out "God, I need to know what you want me
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Some YOU PerspectivE by Still @ 10/29/14 09:01 PM

Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: Bikers stand up against child abuse by InsideTheWall @ 10/29/14 08:55 PM

I'm familiar BACA if thats who you're talking about. If I ever manage to get that motorcycle, I may join them. They have a local chapter.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: I feel terrible for writing this by gettingstronger @ 10/29/14 08:37 PM

Hi Going Forward, Kudos for sticking with your husband through all this. I hope his commitment to heal is as strong as your decision to stay with him. Are there any barriers to intimacy that he's willing to talk about? Is he ok with certain intim
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