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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Alone and Feeling Isolated by PhoenixRising @ Yesterday at 08:10 PM

I feel as if I have spent most of my life running from the pain. I lived and worked in places that gave community so I never had to live alone. This meant I had built in community. Once I started remembering, parts of my life started falling away. I
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts I love you so I must let you go. by Esposa @ Yesterday at 06:27 PM

My dear, I am tired. I am a man who has seen the way through the forest but who has taken too many wrong turns to continue. Your way is beautiful and wonderful and peaceful and hopeful. And it requires much of me. I must shed so much of myself to w
Ask The Website Committee
Jump to new posts Forum Structure by NoSimpleMachine @ Yesterday at 04:50 PM

I'm finding more and more that the structure of these forums and sub-forums really doesn't work too great. I've done a lot of forum administration over the years so I'd hope that my suggestions aren't off the wall or difficult to implement, though ad
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Family members who were abused&comfort by Esposa @ Yesterday at 04:22 PM

This is a great place to air your fears, feelings, thoughts, questions - and process them a little before taking them to your partner.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Why Are Families Selfish and Harm Children by md4e @ Yesterday at 03:47 PM

Yes that is why we are here, to help ourselves and others that are in pain. and the very fact we are here at this site speaks to the healing we commit to do. I am so very grateful to come from a family where there was no abuse. At times I feel I am t
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Why Are Families Selfish and Harm Children by journey4two @ Yesterday at 03:29 PM

I am hopefully that because we are all here, we can play a part in breaking that cycle. Most of the wounds I carry as an adult relate back to my mother never attuning to me as a young child and selfishly leaving me, my brother and my father when I w
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: My regret is growing everyday by justplainme @ Yesterday at 02:16 PM

Yes, you can't turn a blind eye.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: what is masculinity? by finallyhere @ Yesterday at 12:26 PM

I get the 'stripping a boy naked in public' issue. I was in boy scouts and the scoutmaster would point the 'fickle finger of fate' then they all ran after that boy and pulled down his pants. I was terrified that I would be next. Perhaps yours was
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: The Nose Knows by 1lifenow @ Yesterday at 12:16 PM

I dont think we have a choice over of a lot of things we think of as free will. We come to feel, believe and think the way we do as a result of so many influences both innate and acquired. The thought processes we have are a distillation of our own
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Family members who were abused&comfort by ALovingMum @ Yesterday at 10:03 AM

You are welcome and (((hugs))) to you, Kitty.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Why Are Families Selfish and Harm Children by sorryson @ Yesterday at 09:55 AM

I am sorry. Children do not have a choice. A child does not willing choose a parent I have learned, they are coerced, manipulated and controlled. It is not until years later that their demons haunt them, the secrecy of what was done to them. Like
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: My regret is growing everyday by blockade @ Yesterday at 09:46 AM

Thank you for the very helpful response. I plan to be a really good brother to him from here on in as I feel he currently needs me in his life in a big way at the moment. I'm conflicted as to whether this is hypocritical behavior on my part though, b
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: what is masculinity? by dark empathy @ Yesterday at 06:02 AM

Being a man is nothing to me, no different from having dark hair or blue eyes, I just hate how it affects how others treat me. I look around and see women being offered the things I most want just because they're women, relationships, closeness,
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: what is masculinity? by lostc @ Yesterday at 05:52 AM

"possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men" Being male however does not mean you are masculine, a better question is maybe what does it mean to be male, which is simply to be a gender. A man can still have sensitive qua
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: movies by traveler @ Yesterday at 05:35 AM

I just watched “Good Will Hunting” for the first time last night. I was unprepared for the not too unpredictable “surprise” that the title character had been abused as a boy. Though the script refers to verbal and physical abuse and does not mention
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: movies by lostc @ Yesterday at 05:05 AM

I haven't watched it yet but I am going to, The Unsaid (2001) *Spoilers!* has parts about a boy having been sexually abused by a male family friend and another boy being sexually abused by his mother. There is also depression/suicide. I would say it
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: A new chapter in my sex life. by justplainme @ Yesterday at 04:36 AM

I appreciate the sentiments NosimpleMachine.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Family members who were abused&comfort by Kitty6 @ Yesterday at 03:49 AM

Hi, I was just curious as to survivors or family and friends who had had similar info told to them. I wasn't sure that there would be any specific data showing this as a "fact". I sometimes forget that I actually need to talk about things
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I had a set back this week by 1lifenow @ Yesterday at 03:42 AM

Its a tough thing when you feel your body and emotions betray you without you being able to stop it. I wonder if it was the touch that was unexpected or the lack of control. I dont think it was the pain you felt but the remembrance of a distant cal
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: JUST made contact with first abuser...*TRIGGERS!* by VASurvivor @ Yesterday at 12:56 AM

Thank you for saying that Castle - I second it. I would only confront with support. I am grateful for a wonderful therapist, whom I have been seeing for 2 years (an many more therapists before that). And yes, there will a whole lot to talk about
Male Survivors
While I'm happy this worked out for you I would caution others reading this to work with a trained therapist when confronting a perpetrator. You want to be prepared and have a good support network for the varying outcomes that can happen. Confronta
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: A new chapter in my sex life. by NoSimpleMachine @ 08/31/14 10:25 PM

Love it! So happy for you
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: what is masculinity? by justplainme @ 08/31/14 08:53 PM

We also have to many concepts and beliefs in society of what not being a man is, instead of what being one is. The real question is . . . What kind of a man are you?
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts A new chapter in my sex life. by justplainme @ 08/31/14 08:29 PM

I had sex with my beautiful girl and did not think about the abuse for one second, i was too involved in our lovemaking, i hope this can restore faith in all of you who have suffered PTSD with flashbacks during sex. Rape flashbacks are like a virus c
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: My relationship towards my self by justplainme @ 08/31/14 08:26 PM

Thank you all for your marvelous insights
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