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Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: How to talk so someone will listen by focusedbody @ Yesterday at 10:56 PM

Thanks, Kevin and others for your responses. Originally Posted By: KMCINVAI have been told communication fails for several reasons, 1. failure to listen 2. preconceived ideas or answers in the head of the person hearing your story, 3. Body language-
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by Acorn2Oak @ Yesterday at 10:49 PM

Oh, one more thing, if i may: "it seems to make him feel inadequate or something." Absolutely true for me too. Inadequate, yes, and more especially in my case, what did I do for her to be THAT nice to me? (unknown/scary) and/or what's this
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by Acorn2Oak @ Yesterday at 10:35 PM

Thank you for saying, Taofish. Glad something I shared was helpful. If I may, in response to something you shared: "I just want to love him to love him." Reading such a comment really touches my heart. My GF has said similar things to me.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by taofish @ Yesterday at 10:23 PM

Wow! thank you for all the insight... I really appreciate it. most of your post goes right along with what I sense is going on... one line, "if she wants ME to feel good, to do things to make me feel good, I instantly freeze and go numb."
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: Exploring sexual attraction safely. by Acorn2Oak @ Yesterday at 10:21 PM

Thanks Gaatt for the post and thanks everyone for your extremely insightful comments. This topic is a hard one for me, being afraid of sex, more specifically, afraid and strongly seeking to avoid associated triggers. Sexual feelings invariably trigge
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: Oh Canada by victor-victim @ Yesterday at 10:02 PM

The wounded warrior with will and skill can wield his weapon still and kill.
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: Oh Canada by tommyb @ Yesterday at 09:57 PM

(zip14) "...no word from the majority of little girls and boys who live with guilt and shame..." "...And these fifty motherfuckers who commit the worst sin should die a painful death for molesting their kin you destroyed their young
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Doing the math TRIGGERS by tommyb @ Yesterday at 09:54 PM

(iaccus)
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Are flashbacks part of the healing process by Acorn2Oak @ Yesterday at 09:29 PM

Echoing others above, flashbacks can be both. And, when I am/was in one, it tends to be all consuming, hard to think, hard to function, depending on the intensity. My first one that I knew was a flashback was really intense - emotionally reliving a c
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: recollected sensations ... possible triggers by newground @ Yesterday at 08:16 PM

a lifetime condensed into such a few lines... powerful stuff my dear friend it is a lifetimes work and not sure we are ever done. ((((((((((((( sharky)))))))))))))
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Doing the math TRIGGERS by SmartShadow @ Yesterday at 07:28 PM

(((Iaccus))) It sure does, I'd say your a bit of a miracle to have done so well.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by Acorn2Oak @ Yesterday at 07:13 PM

Hi Taofish, Male survivor here. "If your libido decreased with age and you felt relief from some urges that bothered you, would you be reluctant to take testosterone for fear that it would bring those urges back?" Interestingly, just sta
Moving Forward: Research Studies
Jump to new posts Menís Adult Sexual Assault Experience Study by Chris Anderson @ Yesterday at 06:01 PM

Volunteers needed for Menís Adult Sexual Assault Experience Study Would you like to donate about an hour of your time for an interview about your life and your sexual victimization experience? The research focuses on how men make sense of their sexu
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Doing the math TRIGGERS by manipulated @ Yesterday at 05:46 PM

You are right: when life seems to make no sense whatsoever taking a stop and an analysis like this suddenly brings it all too clearly into focus. Too clearly it DOES make sense. So sorry it does...
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Doing the math TRIGGERS by iaccus @ Yesterday at 05:34 PM

So today we were talking in the chat room and I did the math. Over 8 years of abuse, from age 6 to 14, with an average of once a week (and it was usually more often that that), conservatively speaking, that's more than 400 assaults before I reached
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts molested by my older brother by Searching13 @ Yesterday at 05:33 PM

I am very new to all of this... I am a 35yo, father of 2 and married for the last 6 years. For many years I repressed that I was molested by my bio older brother from the ages of 4-13. It was actually the Oprah episode with Tyler Perry; I remember si
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Porn. Ugh. by Rich1967 @ Yesterday at 05:32 PM

I totally agree with looking at the reasons why. It wasn't till I realized why I was doing it that I could put an almost end to wanting to do it. For me I was addicted to the porn that was similar to my abuse. It was a way to go back to the scen
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Looking for the Oprah part 2 wives of CSA men by Searching13 @ Yesterday at 05:19 PM

Does anyone know if this has been effective?
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by taofish @ Yesterday at 05:02 PM

and ps... really encouraging note.. and I am super happy for you and your lady friend. <3 Kris
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Porn. Ugh. by SmartShadow @ Yesterday at 04:27 PM

Do you know why you chose to look? You said that you don't want to feel so compelled anymore. What compelled you this time? And What did it do for you. No right or wrong answers to this type of question. It's good you are talking about it. It may
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Are flashbacks part of the healing process by Bluedogone @ Yesterday at 04:24 PM

I think both. Flashbacks for me are a part of the healing process, and healing is continuous. I doubt if anyone is ever completely healed from the trauma that accompanies sexual abuse. Two or three times in the past I just knew I was healed and ov
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Penis questions for survivors by taofish @ Yesterday at 04:00 PM

wonderful! thank you, Luke.... we are working on it. Normally, he offers to rub my back etc and it is lovely. He is learning to be more affectionate just for the sake of affection - not necessarily leading to sex. It seems like in the past - that
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: recollected sensations ... possible triggers by Shyshark @ Yesterday at 03:56 PM

Thanks guys ... this took me years to sort out and hours to write ... it's nice to be heard.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Are flashbacks part of the healing process by traveler @ Yesterday at 03:52 PM

I think that they can be either. you can suffer from them and never get beyond that terrible experience - having it over and over. or you can use them as a part of the healing process by learning to process them and what they reveal and discovering h
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Are flashbacks part of the healing process by SmartShadow @ Yesterday at 03:47 PM

From my limited experance, talking with my T and reading about what others have gone through I have some thoughts on body memories and trauma. My thinking at this point is that the body, mind and soul are trying to heal and regain balance. I use the
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