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Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: When/How/If you tell your children by Robert1000 @ 06/25/15 03:03 PM

Mishka, Thank you for your thoughts and support, and I want you to know how much I value the things you write here. Here's the thing. So much of what we communicate in our lives is nonverbal that I think sometimes the burden is on our family member
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: When/How/If you tell your children by Robert1000 @ 06/25/15 02:42 PM

This is exactly why malesurvivor is so important to me! It's ridiculous that we have to be in this damn club together, but at least we're in it together. I've been reading and re-reading your thoughts and comments. I'm very lucky, in that my life i
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: This thread by gaatt @ 06/25/15 02:41 PM

Hi Dark Empathy, Originally Posted By: dark empathyhowever much you say "can't do it alone" that is what I am stuck with. I hear you and I hear how tough it is. I'm here and it looks like a couple of other guys are too. It's not much, per
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Triggered or just a coward? by iaccus @ 06/25/15 02:28 PM

Tomorrow (Friday) I have a surgical procedure at 7:00 a.m. at the local hospital. This is not expected to be life threatening as long as the lump in my throat is be-nine. Those of you who know me know that I wear a vest or carry a gun everywhere I
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Correctly Identifying Feelings seems to be crucial by Magellan @ 06/25/15 02:02 PM

Yesterday I had a thought about how my feelings seemed to have gotten mixed up - confusing unmet needs and getting them intertwined as feelings come and go in my daily interactions with others. As someone who was severely neglected by my mother, I h
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: So Tired by Still @ 06/25/15 01:24 PM

I understand fully! Generally speaking, today's people are very self-enthrawled, self-centered, and selfish. Why else would the nursing home I visited a year ago on Christmas eve be completely void of visitors? Why has the quadriplegic guy across th
U.S. & World News
Jump to new posts Re: Some Price is Chosen *****TRIGGERING****** by Still @ 06/25/15 01:17 PM

Originally Posted By: KMCINVAI had to pause the video on .......... seen him suffer public humiliation. That is such a compelling angle and story KMCINVA. I'm speechless in re-considering so so much of ... so much of post-abuse stuff.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: When/How/If you tell your children by Still @ 06/25/15 01:08 PM

Knowing about someone's CSA is a burden. Pure and simple, its a burden. IMO: How the survivor is thriving in current life influences how the news is received and digested by the recipient. So, if the Dad is in the throws of addiction, severe depres
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts So Tired by Michael1965 @ 06/25/15 01:01 PM

Today I find myself back in a common place of being very tired and discouraged to the point of really hating my life. I doubt that I am alone in feeling this way but today I am just on the verge of falling apart again. I feel that all I do is care
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: When/How/If you tell your children by trishy @ 06/25/15 12:15 PM

Hi Bob As a parent i understand why you would be feeling that at some point in time you want to be open, transparent and able to share about CSA as just one part of yr experience, as Newground says. It will be a great marker of yr healing that you
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: When/How/If you tell your children by traveler @ 06/25/15 10:51 AM

I kept my secrets from myself for decades. Once they started to re-surface and I started therapy, I felt the need to tell my wife, if only that she would understand why I needed therapy and why I had suddenly become so withdrawn, depressed, and dysfu
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Out of the blue by traveler @ 06/25/15 10:20 AM

i started to say that there are no musical triggers for me - but after considering it for a few moments, i realized that is not true. i have always hated country music - and now i know why. that was what the step-dad liked. thanks to this thread, i h
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Mixed Feelings - Literally by Rich1967 @ 06/25/15 09:48 AM

I thought we were connecting on some level there I think because in my early years I felt "normal" and loved by her is why I can connect with women. I still don't see women in a sexual way and I know I can see men in a sexual way but I'm
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: The Subconscious Mind of CSA Trauma Survivor by KMCINVA @ 06/25/15 08:59 AM

Freeman I found it easy to understand. I like your words "who want to understand". There are many who do not want to understand--which makes me sad that such a heinous act and the impact on the victim can be ignored by some. I guess tha
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: When/How/If you tell your children by Michael1965 @ 06/25/15 08:28 AM

Robert I made the decision to tell my daughters about my abuse 2 years ago. They were 19 and 22 at the time. I had struggled with the thoughts of that it would hurt them, burden them, drive them away from me. Telling was probably the toughest thing
Male Survivors
KMC, This really hit home with me, too. I will use it as a summary for friends and family who want to understand. It reflects my experience exactly. Thank you! Freeman
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Out of the blue by Bardo @ 06/25/15 06:03 AM

Smells are often our most potent triggers to a memory, at least that is my experience. I too have strong memories attached around that song, it was so original for its time. When I first heard it I was working alone on a construction project on the e
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: His progress by newground @ 06/25/15 04:19 AM

what you describe is familiar to me. I began in Therapy it was hell but it was MY hell. it was familiar,a place I knew. MANY times not I have talked to him about this kind of VOID. it is as you say not really a set back not a move forward but more a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: ouch again! by traveler @ 06/25/15 03:00 AM

Victor - i am so sorry for what you are going through. i can't imagine that kind of agony - and to tell the truth, i don't want to. sorry, i didn't even have the guts to click on the link. but i am glad you made it through what is hopefully the wors
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Men supporting men. What does that look like? by traveler @ 06/25/15 02:41 AM

Rich - that is wonderful. you have done a very good thing. it is not only evidence of healing in your life, but also another step of progress for you. and besides the men whose lives you know you have impacted, there are many others that you may nev
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Men supporting men. What does that look like? by woodenshoes @ 06/25/15 12:18 AM

Rich Thats awesome. I wish i had the strength to talk opening. I feel to much shame. Some day maybe. You should be real proud. You are a inspiration to us here. Ws.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: "Was I Abused?" by just me @ 06/24/15 11:39 PM

Hey Larry, Welcome to MS and thanks for reviving my old thread. It's been a while, wow 6 years since i started here...I have grown so much, I don't even recognize that new member who was overwhelmed with the discovery that these scary (then) words a
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts His progress by whiteflag @ 06/24/15 11:24 PM

I haven't posted in some time. But if you've read my previous posts, the relationship with my boyfriend has been difficult and painful at times due to his inability to give of himself emotionally, despite understanding the SA survivor struggle and kn
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Men supporting men. What does that look like? by Rich1967 @ 06/24/15 10:53 PM

"Wow" just about sums it up. I did my second session today. 50 plus men there and I clearly made an impression. By the men reaching out to me already I think it was mostly positive and they did stand when they were clapping I don't thi
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: ouch again! by victor-victim @ 06/24/15 10:08 PM

If you really want a graphic depiction of how I actually felt ... just click on this link... https://thegameto.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/rough-night2.jpg ... I was devastated. Still shaking. A picture worth a thousand words. I pray I never ne
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