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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Why? by Magellan @ 07/29/15 05:43 PM

Congratulations, God. You win. I give up. You tricked me into believing that if I did all the right things and put enough energy towards recovery, that I would find some success. Well, it's been 33 years now, and I've tried all during that time to
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation In Media
Jump to new posts Re: Triggers and How to Handle Them by bluesky @ 07/29/15 05:31 PM

Hey Jeff Sorry that you are feeling that way. You can PM any time or email or call. Hope you are using the self compassion that we learnd over the weekend. Take care and keep in touch.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Magellan @ 07/29/15 05:25 PM

Obi, I wish I knew how to respond to this without coming off like an asshole. I'll just leave it with this - thank you for your reply. Meanwhile, I'm decategorizing myself as a survivor. I'm no longer a survivor. I'm drowning in a sea of confusi
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts fear of women,bullying by Sterling @ 07/29/15 05:04 PM

I know i could search in this forum , but am lazy. I accepted , or allowing myself to more and more that i am gay. But am wondering , why is it that when i see a beautiful woman i feel forced to look at a woman's boobs. This is weird.. i just dont
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: free association & freedom of expression by Sterling @ 07/29/15 04:49 PM

be straight. be gay be straight be gay. be straight. ..accept being gay. came out to woman. the only that scares me or worries me is going to the food bank next week. A couple of women have a crush on me. It will go away , immediatley, one pic
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Secrecy, Threats, and Transparency by payne @ 07/29/15 04:40 PM

I didn't fail to remember the secret of his abuse, that my step-brother made me swear not to tell. However, it was not until 6 years ago at age 52 that I began to remember the abuse from my mother. I think her sudden physical as well as mental decl
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: A Good Book by payne @ 07/29/15 04:31 PM

I have not read the book, but I have heard of the title. Disposable sex is definitely how my mother treated each of her husbands and me as her only child. My dad is very old and still hurting over the divorce from back in 1961. He still remembers
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Secrecy, Threats, and Transparency by AlexBoyd @ 07/29/15 04:26 PM

Thanks for the responses, guys. I felt like I couldn't be the only one with issues about secrecy. It's always good to know I'm not all alone in my feelings.
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: rave review by victor-victim @ 07/29/15 04:06 PM

thank you so much, OCN, for the uplift. i am gonna need all the help i can get. THIS JUST HAPPENED! PANIC ATTACK! yesterday, the guy who has stood by me and defended my reputation and fought for my rights and spoke out against the injusti
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Obi @ 07/29/15 03:36 PM

It hasn't been a complete waste of time. you have many guys here who do consider you a friend and do care about you, whether you understand it or not. That right there means your life, working through your recovery and so on, was/is not a waste.
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: rave review by OCN @ 07/29/15 01:30 PM

Hold on there v-v! You shall overcome!
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: MONSTERS ~ Nikita Gill by OCN @ 07/29/15 01:27 PM

Sometimes its easier to look away, than to recognize what was always there. Seeing that the monsters we're fighting are really inside of us.. it can create open space in which we can start to first communicate with them, then integrate them and fina
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: ***TRIGGER*** Castration fear by learning2remember @ 07/29/15 01:05 PM

I don't think I was ever threatened with castration. I'm sure I wasn't. I have wondered about chemical castration as an elective procedure, though never considered it a real option since I am married. I used to harm my own genitals daily or several t
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Magellan @ 07/29/15 12:59 PM

What I need is someone in my life. But I've been rejected so many times, and I've failed 100% of the time, that I've become bitter because of the experience I've had with all the failures. I have nothing left in me to try anymore. Every attempt I ma
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation In Media
Jump to new posts Re: Triggers and How to Handle Them by Obi @ 07/29/15 12:50 PM

Hey Jeff!!!!!! love ya, brother!!! Always!
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Obi @ 07/29/15 12:47 PM

I don't think anyone lied to you. You are just figuring out who you are and what it is that you truly love. You searched those areas because you honestly thought you truly loved it. You find out that it isn't. Doesn't mean people lied, just means you
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts A Good Book by gaatt @ 07/29/15 12:22 PM

Hi Guys, Have any of you read "The Myth of Male Power" by Warren Farrell? It's a little dated now (pub. 1993) but still very relevant to the kinds of things I'm dealing with. I'm reading it now. He calls men "The disposable sex"
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: the cycle by DesertFrog @ 07/29/15 12:11 PM

now bring on the depression and regrets of my actions while drunk arghhh lather rinse repeat like a dog to vomit
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: the cycle by manipulated @ 07/29/15 11:43 AM

DesertFrog I was feeling the self loathing and rinse repeat so strongly early this week. More details flooded back. I couldn't get my breath and it dominated my morning. Then I remembered I have recovered before. I AM a survivor and I will NOT let th
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts the cycle by DesertFrog @ 07/29/15 11:29 AM

it never ends i am insane i have to be i will go months without issue then blamo here i sit again self loathing drinking too much and porn and screwing up relationships work school and family why do i push these people away? i hate myself and pe
Off Topic
Great video!!!!! Simply, but very eloquently said.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: True Sayings by KMCINVA @ 07/29/15 11:17 AM

Manipulated Well said. It is amazing how these memories remain dormant and then something triggers the memories. Then the nightmares and flashbacks are off to the races. In the past I could fight and wrestle the memories back into a dormant state.
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation In Media
Jump to new posts Re: Triggers and How to Handle Them by lapchinj @ 07/29/15 10:52 AM

Hey (((( jay bro ))))) I was getting really scared that nobody wanted to speak to me anymore. Thank you for your kindness. Right now i'm on my iPhone so i really can't write well without a normal keyboard. There are quite a few points you brought up
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I can't stop the self loathing by Magellan @ 07/29/15 10:47 AM

I built my career on all the things I love (filmmaking, animation, technology, science, education). I have a rock solid career, and investments as a result. I find myself at this stage realizing it doesn't mean anything to me, or matter much. I fe
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts True Sayings by manipulated @ 07/29/15 10:22 AM

"The body remembers. Stuffed until an event, a sound, a sight, a touch, a word or a person awakens them." or a smell...then the flashbacks flood.
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