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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bitterness... by victor-victim @ 07/25/14 05:36 PM

Originally Posted By: dark empathyI often find the idea of total hatred for everyone very tempting. I read a wonderful metaphore the other day, from a novel by Tad Williams where a man, who is himself a complete psychopath said "The world is a l
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers by NoSimpleMachine @ 07/25/14 05:20 PM

Thank you Anomalous! With so much CSA discussion popping up in the news (at least, I'm seeing lots of articles and stuff in my Facebook timeline lately), the "victims become abuser" myth is clearly still strongly held by a significant porti
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers by WriterKeith @ 07/25/14 05:06 PM

An important article that shouldn't be lost in the archived threads. Quote: Hi Guys, How many of us, and how many in society have heard "if a male was sexually abused, he will become an abuser?" This is said with conviction and without the speaker
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Do I have to forgive? KEN SINGER comment by victor-victim @ 07/25/14 04:38 PM

i went through this struggle. i will "weigh in" by sharing this repost of my own experience. Healing through forgiveness http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...2551#Post432551 i can honestly say that i have closure. each of
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Do I have to forgive? KEN SINGER comment by outis @ 07/25/14 04:12 PM

I realize this is an old thread, but it's active again now, so I'll weigh in, too. No, no one has to forgive. It's not easy, but neither is carrying pain or nurturing hate. I've been at this a while now. Forgiveness, in the sense of "not waiti
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Do I have to forgive? KEN SINGER comment by WriterKeith @ 07/25/14 03:16 PM

This powerful statement of Ken Singer's deserves to be bumped up on the threads and kept in mind. Poster: Ken Singer, LCSW Subject: Re: Do I have to forgive? Quote:You don't have to forgive. It is the one thing that the offender does not have c
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Guilt and stuff by genedebs @ 07/25/14 03:08 PM

DeAR txb and all. It seems to me you are reviewing feeling of guilt that are easy to access. Being bi polar but not as bad as your dad, having almost killed yourself and others etc, etc. For me it is much easier to express my guilt about these e
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bitterness... by genedebs @ 07/25/14 02:55 PM

To Watzupwitu, and all. I agree the rant is far better than the self reflected anger and bitterness. However, it is for me, even today, very difficult to trust anybody. Basically I feel that as much trust as I can find is that they will not inten
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: My CSA Survivor Husband left me last week.... by WontGiveUp @ 07/25/14 02:54 PM

NoSimpleMachine - thank you so much for your reply. In my rambling, probably not making sense post - I dont think I was really clear on the issues we have faced compared to what is going on now. Zero intimacy, lack of connection... his choice of po
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: My CSA Survivor Husband left me last week.... by NoSimpleMachine @ 07/25/14 02:13 PM

WontGiveUp...being concerned about your husband's progress is very caring of you, but it must be balanced with the reality of CSA recovery: sometimes there are backward steps. Sometimes there are relapses. Sometimes there are old stomping grounds tha
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: The startle response by gaatt @ 07/25/14 01:41 PM

Hi FB, My mother has been labeling me "crazy" and "hypersensitive" for years. I think it's part of her denial of the insanity of an entire culture. It came to a head when I showed her a book about the psycho-emotional aspects of
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bitterness... by Bluedogone @ 07/25/14 12:33 PM

First of all, nothing wrong with a rant. It's a whole lot better to write it all out here than turn it inward on yourself. You can get in a sort of Merry-go-round in your own mind, feeding the anger with bitterness over and over. I haven't thought a
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: New to site and to healing process after 45+ years by Bluedogone @ 07/25/14 11:13 AM

Hi Seekingwisdom, and welcome, I'm sorry it was necessary for you to be here, but glad you came. I think you've found, as have I, that no matter how many years ago the abuse happened or how safely tucked away all this abuse was stowed, it can affec
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bitterness... by dark empathy @ 07/25/14 10:56 AM

I often find the idea of total hatred for everyone very tempting. I read a wonderful metaphore the other day, from a novel by Tad Williams where a man, who is himself a complete psychopath said "The world is a lump of shit, we are the worms that
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Guilt and stuff by txb @ 07/25/14 07:19 AM

Thanks. Don, I know you are right, that no one else can tell me what to do. And normally I hate people telling me what to do anyway. But with this I'd really like some kind of plan, something to follow that guarantees that I feel better and everythin
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: dont hate by newground @ 07/25/14 04:18 AM

I did. It came to me at work as I was trying to process my experiences at a weekend of recovery. so many powerful things happened there I was over whelmed it took a while to process it all.
Introductions
Jump to new posts New to site and to healing process after 45+ years by Seekingwisdom @ 07/25/14 02:35 AM

Hi all at MS, I'm new to this site and to this healing process after 45+ years of keeping my abuse nightmare a secret. Eights months ago I started to let out only a small portion of my pass out. I've only told my wife and 2 therapist 1 of which I'm
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts My CSA Survivor Husband left me last week.... by WontGiveUp @ 07/25/14 01:01 AM

I made a mistake. I pushed to hard for him to start working towards recovery. I didnt want him to loose the ground he gained and it felt like he was slipping back into old ways, withdrawing from our relationship. I felt like he was giving up, and i
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Songs for survivors by bluesky @ 07/24/14 11:40 PM

This one just blew me away what do you think. Mumford & Sons Awake My Soul Know something about this song or lyrics? Add it to our wiki. Read More...Edit Wiki How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes I struggle to find any truth in your lies
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: dont hate by gettingstronger @ 07/24/14 10:27 PM

Awesome poem. Did you write it? Bob
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: The Circle of Life by sorryson @ 07/24/14 10:23 PM

Things have been difficult here. Mama and my brother went to see the psychiatrist twice this week. Mama is staying with my sister and my brother is very sad. My doctor wants me to keep away because of my own issues and trying to get better. I went
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: yearning to hold the boy I was by don64 @ 07/24/14 10:05 PM

Hi Bob, I'm finding as I reclaim more and more of the early damaged versions of myself, my thinking shifts. And, I then find myself reclaiming more and more of the damaged thinking versions of myself going forward, into the present. Congratulation
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: yearning to hold the boy I was by gettingstronger @ 07/24/14 09:44 PM

Shortly after finishing Judith Herman's "Trauma and Recovery," my wife of twenty years wrote me a wonderful letter reaffirming her love for me, her willingness to help me heal in any way she could, and most importantly, her understanding th
Humor
Jump to new posts LEE 83 has a problem with humor and taking jokes by Robert Barrett @ 07/24/14 07:02 PM

My name is Lee 83 and I have been molested by my father and forced to do things with my sister. My father forced my sister to do things with him. It's not to settling for me to dig into but, I have a way of looking at like where i see it very serious
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: LEE 83 has a problem and needs help by Robert Barrett @ 07/24/14 06:52 PM

I have a question, is Tom2 the only guy that does the Chat for the survivor session?
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