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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Therapy -- Does/did it "work" for you? by JW1230 @ Today at 08:00 AM

@OCN Thanks for the reminder in your post: "try to realize it's about you. You don't have to be nice or having to please the therapist, she/he is there for you. I'm learning that now too. It's strange when you're used to being dependent on oth
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Drugs as Suicide Alternative by KMCINVA @ Today at 07:54 AM

Still you are here and facing your past. I have difficulty seeing substance abuse as an alternative to suicide. Substance abuse can lead to depression and accidental overdose. It is an escape from the trauma. You said it well, once you faced your a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Therapy -- Does/did it "work" for you? by OCN @ Today at 07:49 AM

So far i've only dealt with female therapists, of which the 3rd was great! She knew what was going on and hit the nail on the head in the first session. Had to do with me being ready to face the truth of the abuse. Only now am i ready to work on my
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling so much old sadness as things improve by KMCINVA @ Today at 07:43 AM

Don You have made great progress. Unfortunately as we heal and become comfortable with ourselves in totality we begin to explore deeper emotions that were buried with the abuse. I believe you are at this stage, you are letting the emotions of feel
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Speaking to my son (before he was born) by OCN @ Today at 07:35 AM

He FB I recognize it as a man. I like my more childish side a lot, so i tend to let fantasy run wild and free every now and again. After finding out about the abuse, i find myself talking and cherising the younger boy in me more and more. I guess
U.S. & World News
Jump to new posts 2nd CSA inquiry chair under pressure to quit by tbkkfile @ Today at 07:05 AM

The public inquiry by the UK Government into alleged historic child sex abuse cases cannot seem to find someone to chair it who does not have some links to the establishment it seeks to scrutinise. Everybody it seems belongs to the same club, lives
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling so much old sadness as things improve by tbkkfile @ Today at 05:06 AM

Don - I envy your ability to bring music back into your life, it was a double edged sword to me and it was a battle that I ultimately lost I'm afraid. It's strange but I only ever listened to music that mean't something and that I associated with go
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Drugs as Suicide Alternative by tbkkfile @ Today at 04:53 AM

Still You're definately not alone in this, mine changed over the years, pot to LSD, to cocaine, to speed, to alcahol. People used to joke that I had a defective Gene in that I enjoyed getting off of my face, fuck I used to say the same to them but i
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Drugs as Suicide Alternative by don64 @ Today at 03:14 AM

Hi Still, I understand what you are talking about. If I had not been able to manage my pain, impulse control would have flown out the window. I used alcohol, cigarettes, anonymous sex, coffee, sugar and binge eating. I'm down to minor sugar use a
Male Survivors
Hi kc, Thanks for reminding me that I'm feeling safe enough to feel the feelings now. I had temporarily forgotten that. This last round of stuff bubbling up has been particularly crazy, and I have just in the last few minutes worked through obsess
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Therapy -- Does/did it "work" for you? by traveler @ Today at 02:55 AM

i have had 2 Ts - decades apart - and struck gold with both. only now do i realize how fortunate i was. both were male. i don't think either had ever personally experienced CSA - but both certainly understood it. i would not have been able to talk to
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Shame Binding by justplainme @ Today at 02:40 AM

Originally Posted By: Nothing ManI keep telling myself every day it was not my fault. While I understand it in principle, I still do not accept it in fact -- and I know that my thought process there is completely wrong. There are so many barriers p
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Nightmares by TW16 @ Today at 01:00 AM

I have been having nightmares almost every night for about the last three or four weeks. I am not sure exactly why as nothing out of the ordinary has happened in my life. Although I have been having memories surface from my abuse as a teenager for
Health and Wellbeing
Jump to new posts Re: Can coffee aggravate PTSD? by Still @ Today at 12:35 AM

I attended one of the Los Angeles MS support group meetings once. There, one member said he was always to never go out Hungry, Tired, Angry and something else. I have discovered going out like that can and will cause some serious upset and possible
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Drugs as Suicide Alternative by Still @ Today at 12:29 AM

****DRUG USE TRIGGER WARNING**** You ever have one of those realization that is so bloody profound to you for a little while, until you suddenly see how obvious it was all along? Well, I had one. With absolute zero fellowship with other young Chri
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bad Night Upcoming Family Group Session by finallyhere @ Today at 12:18 AM

Sounds like things moved forward. Good to hear about the breakthroughs with mama and most of all the positive direction for your brother. I know we all hurt when those we love are in such pain as your brother. But don't neglect yourself in the meanti
Jump to new posts To a dying old man by kcinohio @ Today at 12:07 AM

Just breathe easy You're almost there Glad for this time With you to share Not easy now, But was not then Abused and hurt You chose love when You could have died Or hurt others But love pulled you Away from lures Of bitter bile Wasted regret, Inst
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling so much old sadness as things improve by kcinohio @ Yesterday at 11:16 PM

Don, thanks for sharing that. In my opinion, the reason such thing come up now is that you've managed to create a safe space where you can feel and process those feelings in your life now. That isn't always easy to remember while going though the pai
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: Love Driving Stick by Suwanee @ Yesterday at 10:47 PM

This thread popped up as "being viewed." I like manual transmissions, so I had to click on it. It's getting harder and harder to find cars with manual transmissions. In some cases, all the literature indicates a model comes in such and suc
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bad Night Upcoming Family Group Session by sorryson @ Yesterday at 10:10 PM

Thank you for the support and the PMs. I think the sessions will be helpful and hopefully when it is time for my brother to join he will be strong enough to deal with the issues. Mama called and I was hesitant to speak with her. She was calm and s
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Speaking to my son (before he was born) by focusedbody @ Yesterday at 09:16 PM

In my journey of understanding how I grew and didn't grow, sometimes I recall how over the years I would talk to the son I would someday want to have. When it came time to have children, actually having son didn't even occur to me. Then it happene
Spirituality and Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Am I the only one......? by don64 @ Yesterday at 09:08 PM

Hi fhorns, Tears are VERY cleansing, IMO. It sounds to me like your prayers are being answered. My experience is I'm always getting exactly what I need for my growth, it's just that I frequently don't understand it at the time, and that when it hu
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Therapy -- Does/did it "work" for you? by don64 @ Yesterday at 08:56 PM

Your therapy is about you, not the therapist. Trust your feelings. If you feel better with a male therapist with csa experience, don't settle until you find him. You are worth every bit of effort it takes to find what is right for you. Don
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Feeling so much old sadness as things improve by don64 @ Yesterday at 08:47 PM

I have music in my life again, and am enjoying singing in a more satisfying manner than ever before in my 65 years. The feedback I am getting from everyone and everything is optimistic. I'm in the world of people again, and can't ask for better fee
U.S. & World News
BTW: Sayreville Police Department has no mode of contact on their home-page. But they DO have a very open facebook page. Some police departments need a little encouragement to do the right things.
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