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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Don't know what to think by OCN @ Today at 06:46 AM

Originally Posted By: JudeOCN, You are exactly right. Anything you do with this should be on your own terms. Not your brother's, your father's, or anyone else. Great job. Jude Jeah exactly Jude! That's what i'm realizing more and more. It's just a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Starting recovery by OCN @ Today at 06:44 AM

It takes time Anura. For me it took 18 years before i was able to start working on my abuse. So don't be too hard on yourself for 'missing the point'. You needed time to get to this point and now you're entering a new phase. Nothing to be ashamed or
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: dreams by OCN @ Today at 06:41 AM

Had a very interesting dream last night. A lot of things which symbolically mean a lot. I was in a cave with a wall from which water was dripping. As i looked at it, i tried to stay calm thinking it would stop dripping. But this trying made the wate
Male Survivors
Jacob, you are definitely not a monster! You show what is lacking very much in this world: nuance, consideration and not drawing conclusions too rapidly Nowadays you're supposed to jump any bandwagon which comes by, whether it's outrage over a fall
Male Survivors
really bad night. very upset. Started going downhill, couldn't stop. a mindfulness meditation video I made for myself a while back helped a lot. but I'm still pretty shook up about it. I tend to have views which tick everyone off because I try
Health and Wellbeing
Jump to new posts Re: Sexual Abuse of Boys by Jacob S @ Today at 05:26 AM

thanks for posting this and bumping this. Important stuff.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Drugs as Suicide Alternative by tbkkfile @ Today at 04:23 AM

Jeez this post has made me look at the self destructive side of my life and I tell you it's something I hadn't planned on doing. I'm still up to my old tricks when it gets too bad (which is often) I really think that I need to stop and sort that si
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Shame Binding by justplainme @ Today at 01:25 AM

Try and make time to listen to this, i'm sure you will not regret it.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Don't know what to think by Jude @ Today at 01:07 AM

OCN, You are exactly right. Anything you do with this should be on your own terms. Not your brother's, your father's, or anyone else. Great job. Jude
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Therapy -- Does/did it "work" for you? by Jude @ Today at 01:03 AM

I have spent years in therapy, wasting both the therapists' time and my own. You don't make much progress in therapy if you never tell them the truth. So I think being honest is one part of what can make therapy successful. The other part is finding
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Drugs as Suicide Alternative by Jude @ Today at 12:45 AM

Still, For 30 years, drinking and drugs were my medication of choice for coping with the pain from all my baggage. In one sense it worked well, kept me alive, and got me through each day and night without having to feel or face anything. But in an
U.S. & World News
I'll volunteer to chair. I suspect the outcome of the UK scandals will end-up exactly the way the Canadian cases have: Long, drawn-out hearings of no consequence, stretched over such long time periods that victims expire or are scared-off. Eventual
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Drugs as Suicide Alternative by Still @ Today at 12:28 AM

Originally Posted By: Nothing ManWould I suggest drugs (of which alcohol is one) over suicide? For me, the answer was that the alcohol use was a form of slow suicide. I knew I was killing myself, and so did my wife. It helped me cope but had I not re
Male Survivors
Dan, I can understand your feelings about this. Its one of those situations where afterward you thyink of all the things you could've should've said or done, but at the time you just kind of freeze. Just don't share a room with this pair again. The
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Shame Binding by focusedbody @ Yesterday at 11:26 PM

Originally Posted By: justplainmewhenever your soul is in pain you have to work at a geological rate, in other words be as patient as possible. There is a kind of painful earthiness to the feeling of being misled about something innate and biologic
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: Attraction to specific type of men- reason? by don64 @ Yesterday at 11:21 PM

Thank you guys for continuing this topic. I don't have anything to add right now, but there are things here that feel like they are fertilizing and watering places in me that are helping me somehow. Perhaps it's just permission to not have all the
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling so much old sadness as things improve by don64 @ Yesterday at 11:09 PM

Tbkkfile, thanks for the well-wishes, and I hope you don't give up on having satisfying, personal, passionate expression in your life. Kevin, thanks for reminding me that as I clear on this old, difficult and previously hidden stuff, I create larger
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: outraged that friends had sex when I was asleep. by don64 @ Yesterday at 10:50 PM

Hi Dan, As I get older I feel like I can't change anyone else, only myself. Righteous indignation can feel great, but the two things you say all have to do with you. You were drunk, and you did not see to it that you had your own space. This may
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bad Night Upcoming Family Group Session by don64 @ Yesterday at 10:40 PM

Hi Sorryson, It has taken me into my 60's to clear enough of the poison of my family of origin out of my system to understand that I also have the power to keep that energy out of my life in my external world. Two things have happened in this proce
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bad Night Upcoming Family Group Session by tbkkfile @ Yesterday at 10:40 PM

My wife says to me that I have to move on and think of myself to heal and to stop trying to change how my Mother and that side of my family thinks. I owe it to my loving wife and my children as they are like yours sorryson - the cycle stops with me.
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: Attraction to specific type of men- reason? by metsfan257 @ Yesterday at 10:20 PM

Hi All, I see some recent posts in here, all good to read, thanks. I didn't realize my original post was over 2 years ago - it makes me realize how little has changed in that time, lol. I haven't made any strides in understanding or repairing mysel
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bad Night Upcoming Family Group Session by sorryson @ Yesterday at 10:20 PM

Thank you for the support. We are making progress but with each step more memories return as well as bad feelings. Realizing Mama and her family made us lie about what we did to Dad makes me sick. They knew and told Mama to lie and then Mama and m
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Therapy -- Does/did it "work" for you? by metsfan257 @ Yesterday at 10:02 PM

Your post is literally my life except for I'm in my 30's lol. I'm in the same boat right now - I have a female therapist who I've been going to for four years now and feel comfortable talking to her, but if I look at it objectively, I think it's obvi
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts outraged that friends had sex when I was asleep. by takingitslow @ Yesterday at 08:12 PM

possible trigger warnings *********** I was sleeping in a single bed and my two friends start having sex in a double bed like 10ft from me when they could have gone to a different room as there were loads of free rooms available. (we work in hotel
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Therapy -- Does/did it "work" for you? by SurvivingMe @ Yesterday at 07:59 PM

hey guys -- Just wanted to say "Thanks" to everyone who responded. I've read and re-read (and re-read again!) your comments and I appreciate your openness and words of wisdom. I've decided to move forward with a new T so I've made an appo
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