“It is not now, nor has it ever been your fault!”
Sexual abuse in any form is never the fault of a victim, regardless of their age.
There is nothing you could possibly say, do, infer, ask for, or initiate that can remove the responsibility every adult has to protect and nurture children and teens. In the words of Ken Lanning, a retired FBI special agent who investigated thousands of child abuse cases in his career, “Whenever a child and and adult have unforced sex, the child is always the victim.” (Child Molesters: A Behavioral Analysis, p. 6)
You may feel afraid, alone, and wondering what to do or where to go. We have compiled the following list of resources that may be of help. There are numerous resources in local communities, around the country, and places you can go to get you real facts about sexual abuse and give you options. If you are currently being abused, or even if you feel pressured in ways that don’t make you feel comfortable it is important to know that you always have the right to refuse to engage in sexual behavior. No one has the right to force or compel you to do anything you do not want to do. And if you have been abused in the past, you always have the choice to say no in the future.
If you have been abused, or if you are concerned that a friend or loved one is or may be abused, we strongly encourage you to reach out to someone you can trust and tell someone. There are people who will believe you and help you – perhaps a teacher, a relative, a friend, or a member of a friend’s family. Often times school counselors, local law enforcement, and social service agencies are specifically trained to respond to survivors. The important thing to remember is that perpetrators rely on our silence to get away with abuse. We strip away their power when we find the courage to come forward and break our silence.
Here are some resources that may help you –
Facts about male sexual abuse – A short overview of some of the most important facts and statistics about male sexual victimization.
Therapist Directory – MaleSurvivor’s Therapist Directory is a listing of hundreds of mental health professionals from around the United States and elsewhere who work with male survivors of sexual abuse.
Be Silent No Longer by Fred Tolson
Are we not Men? by John Fowler
Couldn’t have written this one any better myself… by K. Sullivan
What You Should Know About Child Sexual Abuse The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Sexually Victimized Boys Virginia Child Protection Newsletter